ITT we all work at a shitty startup in SF together

You can use my face as a foot stool, user

I'll call the office cleaners. I'll put the $5,000 bill on the company card

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These start ups, where do they get their money? Is it mostly crowdfunded or banks? And just how much effort do they need to put in to show some sort of eventually failed product before the startup closes after two years or so of receiving 150k+ executive salaries? And does this closure affect the creation of more startups?

Venture capitalists violently throw money at random startups in the 0.01% chance they become the next FAANG

Ugh... creepy!? God... we need HR, it is NOT ok for incels to be in tech in the year 2012+7

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How do I jump on this startups high salary milk train?

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Uhh hey everyone am I the only person to notice that we have a really low diversity scoring? I think we can do better than this.

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You missed it during the dotcom boom. They do due diligence now, so you'll have to do some work on your startup idea of "Uber for Dakimakuras"

Can everyone like my post on Medium? It's the one titled "How complaining about javascript performance is the modern dog whistle"

HR said it was okay because I have autism

Time to snort liquid gold

Or bought out by one of them so they can pay their loans off. Startups frequently make products that aren't much good for profits without being part of the botnet.

Hey guys, meeting in 5 minutes huddle room 2C, we have to talk about our wework lease and the flavored water machine in the cafeteria.

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why is this bad? every time anyone talks to me i just forget what they say five seconds later anyway, at least now i can remember

This picture is not fun to look at

Context in this image?
Why?

If you deny a request to suck a dick, you're fired.

Hey guys wanna come to my place this weekend? We're having an acid test party.

I'll make the logo

Hey did you get the onions latte today?

I'll shill our product on a autist tech support imageboard.

Cancel the huddle. USCIS just approved the H1Bs so everyone is fired.

Thank you sir...very aprieciat

thank you sir I so happy to shitting in your enterprise

>My pooch just had surgery and I'd like to be with them if possible
>them
subtle...

You're not an employee, you're a benefit.

*clicks clap button*
Thank you Josep-I mean, uh, Coraline!

Who's up for drinks after work? There's great craft beer right around the corner...

thank you sir, show bobs

Don’t prepone - show vegene

Shave your nuts and meet me in the john.

I have the exact same table/chair set.

Do your nuts require extra attention this morning?

*gets AIDS*

I like robot cooks!
Do you know that average hamburger in McDonalds is touched by 4 humans before you touch it??!?!
Also, xer Jenny from HR wants everyone go to hot joga.

Kirk Cameron's birthday party

uproxx.com/filmdrunk/kirk-cameron-swears-his-birthday-party-was-actually-super-fun-and-everyone-came/

Has bring your wife’s bull to work day been set for this year?

Hey guys let's go to Oakland after work

I got molested at the Emeryville BART station ;_;

how to do the needful and renew visa?

pls upgrad me frum H1B

Hello sirs.

Hey team, let's touch base this PM about the new KPI targets, we need to reassess our SLAs and feed it back to HQ. I booked the Dickbutt room so we can webex with the offshore guys. Detailed agenda is in the spreadsheet on the network drive (reminder to NOT modify the shared files). Kindly ping me if you can't make it today, but it'd be great if you could dial in from remote.
@Josh, would you have bandwidth to finish up that report before EOD as discussed?
Please keep Mark looped in when replying so he has visibility.
Thanks,
user
>tfw work at sv corpo and this is my everyday reality

Hay guys the internet is out again so I tried to get on 5g backup but nothing happened
Then my hair started falling out more then normal and I started coughing

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Can somebody show Sanjeet where the bathroom is? He keeps defecating on the sidewalk outside the office. I'm pretty sure Josh.. I mean.. Jessica filed a complaint already.

From: [email protected]
To: [Redacted]

Subject: LUNCH THIEVES ??

WHO ATE MY VEGAN LUNCH??? I LITERALLY CANT BELIEVE YOU GUYs!!!!! IF THIS DOES NOT STOP I SWEAR I AM GOING TO HR

PS. And STOP CHANTINg "jag heter homo Peter" in the hallways!!! It is very insensitive!

Sent from my iPhone

But I love looking at the print outs and making a codec call.

Why is Jow Forums so jealous of SF?

Its primary population are people who would totally fit into SF except they were born in 1 horse towns in the mid west.

You think we have such a high trap population for no reason? This is the digital SF diaspora.,

>starts the email with "hi all"

Is "Hello Everyone" Really that better?

>he actually did the needful, the absolute madman.

Reminder that Caroline is now our designated Mental Health First Aider if anyone needs to talk to xer.

No niggers, women or glowfags allowed.

If Josh didn't become Jessica, he would have been fired for filing a complaint about an employee of color.