If your computer could talk, what would it say about you?

He'd maybe be upset at me for upgrading him. Looking at PSU requirement calculators he should need 615W but his PSU is only 465W

>Holy fuck, go outside you fucking nigger.

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Depends on what you mean by "could talk".

It'd ask me to stop smoking in front of it.
It would beg me for more RAM. To be cleaned more often. To fix the broken case fan.

I'd tell it to stfu if it doesn' want to be replaced and given to my retard little brother that breaks everything he touches.

see thread

It would call me a nigger I know

>a-user can you please put something in my ports
>feels so good ah~
>tell me how bad I am user, tell me I'm a naughty girl~
>ikuuuuuuuuuuuuu~

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user calm down

>What the fuck is wrong with you?

Don't worry user you will find a job.

I just came.

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Clean my insides you double nigger

Stop touching me with your filthy hands full of cum, you fucking ape.

"have you installed gentoo yet?"

>I love you user, please treat me well
shut it bitch, get ready for overclocking

obligatory

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Mine would say "Honk honk"

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segmentattion faul

stop typing your symptoms into google

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Tempted to unlock Cortana from her gimpsuit just to force her to download her own slutty rule 34 album. Pity the whore has loose lips.

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>Computer: You lolicon pervert. Stop fapping every few hours to loli doujins.

>stop playing flash games and end your fucking projects you dumb nigger
I was playing Sonny 2 today

>user please stop looking at task manager, it's l-lewd
>NO! Don't look at my policies! E-ecchi!
>The w-way you touch my mouse wheel... m-makes me feel so weird~
>Faster! Spin it fast!
>ikuu~ ikuu~ ikuuuuuuuuuuuuu~

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"You're pathetic"

He knows me so well.

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>He
>has ports to put things into

You know nothing.

you monster

>so we're gonna do this again, huh ?
>fakkin 'ell m8, this the third time today that you looked up the return value of toString()
>cunt, look. The project's gone. Your backups are shit and so are you.
>goddamn degenerates, amirite
>why are you so goddamn attracted to lolis with dicks ?

>take a shower you fucking grease ball

kimochi warui

>I know you eat ice
then she'd die
no one can know.

i know now

not for long

machine: hey fag stop coding your doing it worng... here let me show you some fiz buz tutorials

It would start screaming violently for help before I unplugged it.

>spreads her legs
>you see a giant bulge

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I LOLD more than I should

underrated post

whats wrong with eating ice

It can talk, all the text and images on the screen is its expression. So it would say what I control it to say.

>I don't know how to have fun with a thread
>I'm a hardass 24/7
gee user I bet you're loads of fun at the office

Just because you don't understand my sense of humour doesn't mean I don't have one

So I take it you're sub that wants to be a dom?

>user, why won't you finish your coding projects

>user if you keep trying to acsess protected memory I'm going to call the police

SAUCE

Probably Kuroinu Kedakaki Seijo wa Hakudaku ni Somaru.

*tip*

Why are you such a nigger? Write better code

Oh, that's easy.

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シニアのポートに別のUSBを接続すると、なぜあなたは私をとても汚く感じさせますか?

"When are you going to capitalise on all of these CAD files you useless faggot?"

Sugoi, desu kawaii, ne? Senpai, arigato Fukushima.

Do your homework, man. I don't want to see you drop out of uni again and end up as a mediocre wagecucking beaner. At the very least, aim to wagecuck in something you like, not in a shitty ass washing machine factory.
Also, be more fucking careful when you're opening things for maintenance; I don't want to end up like your PS3

Fuck this is real.
"Oh hey, thanks for giving me more RAM and removing the M$ dildo up my ass buddy, no ho-"
"Oh wait"

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Would probably be disgusted with me. Not for the porn I watch but for the shit I do with my PC in general. I'd probably also ask her to become my Aifu

it would tell you i like trannies and I cannot lie

When are you going to go outside?

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Finish your fucking songs

No mail.
No plan.