Why do techies try to make things more complicated than they need to be?

Why do techies try to make things more complicated than they need to be?

Attached: resume 2.0.jpg (2400x1280, 343K)

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>techies

>techoids

>separating resumes visually because we no longer live in an age where type-writers are the only way to create documents
Interesting. I like i-

>having progress bars of experience levels
AHAHAHAHAHAH! Next candidate.

And that is exactly the response that this is going to invoke.

I just use a link to my github

If you're not tech enough to know it I keep walking, I dont play hr bullshit

>techcels

What else would you put in the left column? And how would you make it look good when printed in black and white?

the dates on the 'correct' resume are stupid as fuck.

>2019-04-14
>still not using YYYY-MM-DD

Attached: date pyramids.png (5000x2500, 297K)

Why the fuck do you even have to tell your company what you do in your free time? that's none of their business.

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>look good in black and white
Just turn the blue to black? Or spring for a color printer?

What would I put in the left bar? High-level point stuff. Like maybe you could put the awards, conferences, references, things like that. Honestly, it doesn't even matter. The presence of the left-bar is eye-popping enough as long as you don't go full-retard with quantifying skills on a 1-to-100 way.

(Also I'd be extremely skeptical of someone who claims to be a better Leader than Collaborator)

A remainder that there is almost no consequences for claiming a BA degrees you don't really have if you do it right:

1. Pick a degree like English, History, or Sociology
2. Pick a mid-tier state school from outside the area of the business you're applying to
3. Research the school, learn at least the basics a student would know
4. Obtain a basic understanding of the subject. For English, this is almost automatic if you're literate and well-read.
5. In the very unlikely event you are asked to prove your educational background, withdraw your application and say you have accepted an offer elsewhere.

Good luck!

We use yyyy-mm-dd here in Europe.

Don't call it Japanese, call it UTC format. You'll look less like a weeb.

Legitimately too pussy too do this shit

Yeah and we "use yyyymmdd format" here in America too. But you know full well that neither of us do. At least not outside of the tech industry who actually has to deal with the consequences of this shit.

Based but not devilish enough

but they are the master race, senpai

Attached: units.png (1300x1250, 280K)

>resumes
Top fucking kek, thank God I'll never need one
You wagies make me sick

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I've been trying to figure out a devilish way to call a company's HR department and via social engineering make them believe I was promised an interview somehow

Progress bars will probably get you an interview all on their own. The point of CV is to impress an HR normie, not actual interviewers from back office.

Both of those look awful

Cut out this attitude. One day you will be dead, forever. The civilization you exist in now is an ongoing game. You are allowed to make whatever move you want. Some moves have unpleasant counter-moves by society, but you are almost certainly smart enough to see those coming. You can do it!

>this resume requires javascript

For what? You could make it with HTML and CSS. JavaScript only comes into play if you're making a resume app or something.

No, that's what the left-bar does. Progress graphs are the anvil which broke the camel's back. HR people might be soulless and desperate for novelty, but they're also harshly skeptical of new things. It's just way too much.

>last name Cortas
>no es un experto de espanol
>que basura

My CV is plain text, and I don't even wrote the extension, because I'm not interested in people who are using windows looking into it.

>collecting vinyls

I can't fucking stand summary/purpose statements or progress bars. I'm not going to trust your self assessment. Progress bars are trash, and that soft skills section is retarded. They're both garbage resumes and the monochrome one could be made better by not intentionally trying to look like shit.

Chicanos make me sick.

These pyramids are upside down

Why is the left one bad? It's well structured and better than many CVs I've read.
Don't gooks use YYYY年(M)M月(D)D日?

This. I work on HR and look at hundreds of CV's everyday, shit like the OP posted on the right is what catches my eye, not some europass bullshit or 4 pages of black text on white paper. If you're looking for a job try to prep and make yourself look interesting, even if you are a sperg that can't speak to anyone but Chinese cartons on your Japanese CRT.

I went to Wharton and I know a lot of guys who interned with places like Goldman Sachs, etc. And we've shared our resumes and all that. The truth is that these big companies have something of a format, or standard, that they're looking for. The one on your left picture is bad, really bad. But the one on the right isn't good either. A better resume looks normal and boring, frankly, not "eye-popping" or any of that shit, but it makes finding the important stuff about the candidate much easier. Instead of distracting the employer with bullshit it makes things standard and that's actually best.

>japan uses kelvin
they don't

Example?

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Reminds me of this guy who styled his resume like OPs pic suggests and wondered why he doesn't get any calls. Turns out the extra formatting was breaking the automated resume screening software, which would automatically disqualify him.

reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/bbwrm5/tifu_by_screwing_myself_out_of_a_career_for_years/

>technodrones

i'm legit curious, what are your sources of income and expenses per month?

>only 4/5 competency for word and excel
wew

rofl

Every business worth a damn performs background checks to verify your resume

Just go with the left and switch the font to Arial.

Degree verification costs literally $10 through the official channels.

Every F1000 company verifies. Idiot.

>those bars

Does he think he's a game character?

roast me

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If I'm allowed to make up gay-ass experience bars, why wouldn't I just put "Expert" "Expert" "Grand Master" for all of them?

>name is john smith
>doesn't become full stack java script dev

You had one job.

>he isn't 100% in leadership
>he isn't at least 70% in javascript

Never gonna be a rockstar

if your resume isn't written in latex you aren't serious about getting a job

If you have to asks what you would put in the left bar then that's a sign that the left bar is wasting a lot of space.

absolutely terrible. the sentence in education is useless and sounds pretentious, you have a million bullet points blogging about your jobs, descriptions of skills are a waste of space, you look like you do nothing but work

thanks for the good advice

>you look like you do nothing but work
Kinda true desu. Does HR really care if you're part of a volleyball beer league?

I like it, except for the enormous Experience section in the middle. You have far too much filler material in there, like:

>participated in meetings
>contacted stakeholders
>worked efficiently

Remove the filler... unless you think "participated in meetings" is something that needs to be proudly displayed in a resume.

If you volunteer for a charity, a lot of companies like that. Otherwise, no.

do not underestimate pajeets

>Percentage graph
What is that even mean?

>nips use kelvin
we use celsius you retard

I've honestly wondered about this. I wrote my resume in LaTeX. It's a PDF.
Everything looks good on my end. It looks good when I upload it to career sites and it gets rendered in my browser.
I tried Ctrl+F and all text is searchable.
I even tested a couple of different PDF-reading libraries and I can print out good results.

Is there anything else I can do to check if my resume can be handled by automated services?

>bar charts of how great I am
LMAO

Why do you want the year first? That's the least important for reading on a daily basis. You want the day first.
Shorter periods -> longer periods

>git:
>good
Made me chuckle

If the year is relevant enough to be included, it's the most important piece of information. Otherwise, you can just drop it.

kelvin would be 273-373K

>Why do you want the year first?
On computers it's best to sort by year.
>You want the day first.
Month is more important and a necessary signifier than day.

All you do is call them and confirm your "appointment". Just act kinda like a dumb simp and people will bend over backwards to help you, in a lot of cases

How to spot someone who actually doesn't Europe: "We do [x] in Europe"

Polacks use "dd.mm.yyyy", for example. It's a national standard of this poor shithole. Many Yurop cuntries use both DMY and YMD standards.

Apparently companies look at githubs if provided and they speak stronger than any CV.

They also don't look at githubs and CV speaks stronger to HR

>On computers it's best to sort by year.
It isn't about computers, it's about humans.

The only logical way is to write things either from biggest to smallest, or smallest to biggest. Almost everyone writes time in "hh:mm:ss"(biggest to smallest), and the only sensible thing is to write date+time from biggest to smallest: year->month->day->hour->minutes->seconds.

>Month is more important and a necessary signifier than day.

Year is always the most important signifier, one is lying to themself if they try to say anything otherwise. This whole retarded screeching about "REEE PUT THE MONTH BEFORE YEAR!!1" is the weakest rationalization anyone could ever make. Don't need the year? Then either don't display it, or don't look at it. Nobody ever made any argument supporting middle endian date format.

>boss asked why I updated my LinkedIn on Friday

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mexicans speak their own spanish, hence he is fluent but probably not well-versed in "Spain" spanish

It depends on the company.
Small/medium sized companies? Yeah, a senior developer might look at your resume and checkout your Github.
Large company? HR gets first whack at it.

HR resume screen --> HR interview --> preliminary technical interview (over the phone) --> in-person interview with senior developer and/or hiring manager

>Year is always the most important signifier, one is lying to themself if they try to say anything otherwise.
I was speaking about in terms of day vs month. Of course year is most important of all three.

>The only logical way is to write things either from biggest to smallest, or smallest to biggest.
I have a stack of documents, I need to sort them chronologically. I read left to right. It makes most sense to put month first then day. Never do we write just the day by itself, it's always paired with the month. So for reading left to right and speaking MM-DD in my English, it makes more sense to write MM-DD than DD-MM.

nice design but those bar charts are premium cringe material and make you look fucking retarded, sorry but your CV goes straight to the trash bin

Fuck your goatie Alex.

Tech guru from an agile and inclusive company here.
Purge all non-techtoid scu.

Five star post right here. This man is correct.
Pic unrelated.

Attached: Screenshot_20190329-202200__01.jpg (1080x436, 85K)

Yes, let us encourage behaviour that might backfire spectacularly and end up costing user a job!

Are you really named Benjamin Franklin?

having self evaluated experience levels is stupid, people will always use it against you if you put it on your resume.
>you only listed yourself as intermediate in your most used tools, what have you been doing all these years?
>oh, you're an expert in js? can you explain ?

it's a lot better

my daddy runs a business and gives me some money to live

why you lie op

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I know what fucking month and year it is, I want to know the day, which is why you put it first.

lucky guy, gotta admit i'm jelly. you ever think of investing that money into more passive income? that's the smart move if you never want to work

wtf no that's not how it works lmao. i've been to mexico and they speak the same spanish but with different cultural nuances than the spanish spaniards or argentinians speak. all that changes is the accent

Just like how the British can't understand the Americans when they speak right?

>cum

brits are an exception though, their teeth fuck up how they pronounce shit so only they understand themselves since they grew up around that

You never write a future or past date? What are you, a mayfly?

If that's the case, you can just say the date (today is the 15th) with any of those systems.

2nd gen mexicans in America speak slang and don't even know how to write it most of the time

Going to refactor my resume to include more accomplishments. Wish me luck, boys.

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It is illegal for schools to share information with anyone. They CANNOT get your school information without your consent. Also, don't aim for these sorts of employers. If you could handle working for them, you wouldn't have to fake your degrees

>no progress bars indicating burger flipping proficiency
It's shit

>beaners being stupid
and the surprise is?
i'm still right

>They CANNOT get your school information without your consent.
Employers can absolutely get when you attended and if you graduated unless you request the school to block all requests. Good luck having a school you never attended do that.

bad formatting, it's not going to be read by the bot that will attempt to read it

No, they can't. They cannot even get information that you even attended at all. It's illegal. You are required to sign off on any info they will give