Tech shit from others you have to put up with

>be SysAdmin
>mother barges in and reaches me her iPhone
>scratched to hell, full of shitty games and bloat
>"What's the matter?"
>Can you log me into Facebook?
>"What? Do you expect me to remember all your passwords?"
>Yes.
>mfw this is with my entir family
>they refuse to remember or write down credentials because they can't be assed taking 2min of their lifetime writing that shit down

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>iToddler
Found your problem.

that's why I make my moms use lastpass

iktf


I just straight out say now that if you dont know what your email is im not helping

I understand your feel bro.
>be me
>mom's friend left car lights on
>battery died
>doesn't know how to jump a car
>doesn't want to find out
>end up going over with a jump pack and leaving it there
Part 2
>"the doors don't work anymore"
>mfw she was driving with an open door
>somehow it didn't fly open
>do a full recalibration of the motorized parts
>no problem just two minutes
>auto windows, power sliding doors, etc.
I wish people knew how to use their stuff.

>roommate gets the idea to check his oil
>asks me a million and a half questions about how to check the fucking dipstick then takes it to jiffylube anyway

>"hey user there's smoke coming from my car"
>i know what's going to happen
>check under car
>remove drain plug
>nothing comes out
>"when did you change your oil"
>"what?"
Days later
>"hey user the mechanic said it's gonna cost $3000 to replace the engine"
>"i think it was your fault because you removed the plug"
I know nothing about cars. I really do insist I know nothing about cars now.

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>not helping your mother
kys, retarded sperg

He came back in with a picture he took on his phone of the end of the stick and it was basically brand new golden oil well north of E but not halfway full, he spent 7 fucking dollars on 3/4th of a quart lmao, then checked it again afterwards, brings me back a oil soaked paper towel and goes "does this look alright"?

this is after asking me if I wanted to help, I said yes, but he fucked off outside and did all this by himself without waiting
fuck helping people sometimes

move out.

bumping for interest

Did you pay for the new engine? Not cool wrecking your friends engine and not paying.

Sort your mommy issues out, user

>having poor and low iq parents
>ends up a sysadmin bitchboi
pretty standard tbqh

he went to jiffy lube all by himself after asking me for help operating the dipstick
not my problem

I converted my problematic family members to android and chromebooks so now passwords get synced and don't have to worry. Only problem is they still use stupid passwords so I intend to switch them to something like bitwarden at some point but the other way I avoid these things is by living part way across the country from them and not always answering the phone, or texts in a timely manner.
Since I've made myself less available for tech support they have learned to google things _before_ asking me

A couple of passive agressive LMGTFY links to stupid questions also probably helped a bit.

>fix relative's computer from malware and bloat
>3-12 months later
>"user you broke my computer its very slow and barely works anymore!"

Why is this pattern so common, what makes people work like that? I don't understand.

Their ignorance makes them think they can't do any wrong.

>parents ask something like that
>have read Jow Forums horror stories so I know what to do
>ask them if they googled it already
>ask them if they have read what's on their screen or just pressed every notification away
>Google it right in front of them as if they're stupid
>read out loud "so Google says to do this", emphasing that it's not me who knows that

>they actually become very tech proficient and only bother me like once every 2 years, and that's when something is legitimately broken

Let me add:
My mother recently asked me if I could forward some ports for her FTP server. It actually worked after I forwarded them.
Father torrents everything.

That's like seeing your child grow up. You have a nice family user.

well where are your mom and sisters nudes then, user?

this is good advice!

they subconsciously see you as spineless and know they can manipulate you to solve problems they dont want to deal with

>>mother barges in and reaches me, her iPhone
You're an iPhone?

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>moms

>Reaches me her iPhone
I didn't know they started hiring eight year old sysadmins

Other developers' code. I fucking suck and yet 98 % of other devs are even bigger fuckups, just how?

>reaches me her iPhone
no, hands you her iphone or passes it to you. english not your first language?
>>mfw this is with my entir family
time to move out into your own house and tell your family to stop being retards.

this.

how is everyone so tech illiterate in such an tech oriented world?

Someone post "tech illiterate" user

>family gettogether
>weird-ass step-cousin comes over
>"user you're good with computers right"
>"who's asking ha ha ha"
>"hahaha too funny so anyway"
>she wants help getting her facebook account back
>tell her I don't use it and probably can't help
>"well it's more like an account problem though"
>"what do you mean?"
>"well like do you know how to unlock an account if someone has locked it?"
>"locked how? are you saying you're banned?"
>"well okay it's a long story but basically my ex blocked me for saying some stuff so I made another account so I could follow him still and well I guess I ended up sending him a few messages and then I guess facebook figured it out so now I'm fucking banned"
>"...huh"
>"yeah fucking bullshit right? so you don't know any way to like hack my account open again?"

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Lmao

Pretty nuch this. My cousin asked me if I could fix her macbook's wifi despite not even bringing it to the gathering. I just sperged out and told her it could be a number of issues such as her computer, drivers, router, isp etc. It got her off my back.

Rule number one is never do IT for family or friends.
Rule number two is never under any circumstances do IT for family or friends.
Rule number three is never work for or employ family or friends.
I literally am as vague as possible about what I do for a living so I don't have to deal with this shit.

>School project
>People on my team email the files to each other instead of just using Git

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this

>be SysAdmin
>mother barges in
you should be spending your totally real sysadmin paycheck on a place of your own

>What? Do you expect me to remember all your passwords?

My mom did this so I got her to write down her login/passwords. Still forgets so I go get her little password book and everything is written in block capitals. I told her not to do this but she still does it regardless. I give up.

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>sysadmin
>mother barges in

>Use to do some computer repair for a few people in the town I use to live in
>Hated doing these repairs but I did make some good money
>Ended up moving to another state
>Get a message on Facebook from a person that I did repairs for
>She is one of those people that if you don't do anything for her she turns it around on you on how she did stuff for you
>Remote logged into her computer
>She was having hardware problems (cant remember the problem for sure, but it was hardware related, think the onboard video was fucking up)
>Told her its a hardware problem
>Asked if I can fix it
>Told her no its a hardware problem, its a physical problem and not software
>So she gets mad how I can't fix it
>Told her that I would have to be there to fix it
>Told her she has to take to to a computer repair shop if she wants it fixed
>She goes on and on bitching about it
>Blocked her

lmao

>fixing uncles PC
>click on task manager
>"don't break it user"
Yeah I never fix shit for family members anymore.

They try to think of the most significant change that was made because that's the only thing they can think of that had changed, they don't think downloading toolbars over the course of months do anything so they go to the "user did some big changes to my computer" because it stands out in their mind, they don't have any self reflection to see if they did anything themselves.

fpbp

It's probably something dumb like she accidentally disabled it

>family member doesn't know how to use tech
>asks me for help
>REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WHY ARE PEOPLE SO DUUUUUMB
>*insert furry shit image*
Am I cool yet, reddit?

tim cook really stepped his game up after steve died

I told my family I got fired from tech and am working as a temp in an office, doing copies and stuff. IRL I'm a software dev and really don't give a shit haha

>>be SysAdmin
>>mother barges in and reaches me her iPhone
Logging into your router at home doesn't make you a sysadmin user.

it does for me

In that case I'm the CEO (I have an ABN and run a business) of a thriving multinational (I did some work for a guy in Hungary once) corporation (my wife does muh book-keeping).

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>IRL I'm a software dev
Being a code-monkey is nothing to be proud of, user.
But your shameful secret is safe with us.

After reaching about 50-60 people stop wanting to learn anything about the world and just want to live in their own comfortable little mental bubble. This is less politely known as being stuck up your own ass, but it's the human condition. They're not deliberately trying to be aggravating, they're just stuck in the mental equivalent of not watching where you're going through life.

>"user help me I can't hear my music"
>asked what is it
>Said that every time she turned off the screen the music stops playing
>Asked to look at her phone
>Open music player
>No tracks
>"No user open YouTube"
>Huh
>She then showed me her download list
>Fuckload full of oldies and countries which is hundred if hours long

My head hurts

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>After reaching about 50-60 people stop wanting to learn anything about the world and just want to live in their own comfortable little mental bubble.
Yeah, that's why many of the world's great tycoons are well past pension age. Take Murdoch, for instance. Still chasing pussy at 80+.
I'm in my mid-70s and although my physical horizons are tighter my mental horizons haven't stopped expanding.
Go to a User Group meeting and see if they have a Retirees SIG. It'll probably be informal. But you'll find retired engineers, techs and mechanics rubbing shoulders with radio hams.
They'll have projects going in all directions.

I think it's mostly that normalfags live longer so you see more retarded old people than intelligent old people.

>oldies and countries
based and redpilled

In muh Men's Shed we refer to it as
>Neque porco neque paddock

Excellent advice from a fellow old cunt (spring chicken compared to you tho...).

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I just made a point of not bothering with fixing Windows shit for people. That OS is fundamentally broken and there is no way I can fix it. Any issue, I just tell them, "GNU wouldn't break like that".

>moms

It's 2019, bigot.

>a bunch of corelibs wouldn't break like that
imagine saying this in front of someone who actually knows how Linux is structured with a smug face

I'm not talking about kernels, wintoddler. Stop being offended by your shit OS.

>"GNU wouldn't break like that".
Pointless argument. PEBCAK ie. it's people's ignorance which leads them to get viruses etc. Blaming the OS just makes you look like a fuckwit.

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man i'm watching too much porn

*twirls jumper cables like a giant cock*
>I'm here to start your motor....

>am I cool yet
nope, because you don't understand. it's always your fault. can't fix it? nah you're just a cunt, can fix it? thanks for nothing shithead, it's your fault when I break it again

possessive not plural

your mom's what?

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>kid opens a local adminisrator account on the libary computer to play Halo
>network login eventually breaks because he changed shit
>restore windows from disk image
>Halo back on in a few hours

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>be me
>my mom's friend has new job
>he needs to register into an app
>she doesn't know how ti do it
>go to her home
>the app says to put the code that you've received in the mail, i tell her to put the code without watching it
>wait a bit
>"user, it doesn't work"
>wat?
>the actual mad woman
>they send her an URL that redirects to a web with the code and she puts the URL thinking it was the code
>what a fucking idiot
>rest of the day complaining about how they do all always hard to use.
>btw she's a 40yo woman that lives with her mom and she's an anarchist, so you can imagine the IQ

>set up BitKeeper server
>people on my team insist on using git

>I'm going to be stuck on this site for the next 50 years
christ

>mother plays facebook games all day long (basically has been doing nothing all day but sitting on her ass playing flash games and sleeping since 2004)
>around 2009, decides that every single computer problem she has is related to the internet
>meaning if she opens windows explorer and it takes too long to open, that's because the internet is slow
>and if the internet is slow, that means it's my fault, because either i have two monitors on/two windows open on my desktop/because my TV is on
>show her fifty fucking times that it's because her computer can't handle it
>every fucking time two days after she says user STOP SLOWING DOWN THE INTERNET I KNOW YOU'RE DOING IT BECAUSE WHEN I TELL YOU TO STOP IT WORKS IMMEDIATELY AFTER
>wakes me up at 3 am to say this
>destroys her windows install with viruses every month because whenever she sees something that says FREE SHIT HERE she clicks on it, only fix it by installing ubuntu on the computer
>eventually crack and just buy her an 8-core 16gb RAM work computer
>ends up getting viruses on it trying to pirate music off the internet
>STILL FUCKING COMPLAINS
Sorry for the blog but please god, fucking help me. I don't know what to do anymore.

move out

Install avast anti virus

how the fuck does she get viruses on ubuntu? did you give her the root password or what?

I left her with Windows on her new PC

this Yeah, it means less tendies... but on the upside you won't have to deal with being a manchild living with his single mum....

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>be me
>Masters in CS
>end up doing asm and c code injection on proprietary software
>earn moderately big bucks (late 90's early 00's)
>start muh own biz - end up being a basic mobile helpdesk /virus remover/clean image installer
>get job in Big Corpa overseeing ICT onsite rollout dept.
>moderate bucks but work fifo and 3 on 1 off - fucken kills muh pham life
>get helpdesk job in city
>work with straight-out-of-uni hipsters, mostly dumb cunts but there are some diamonds in the rough
>all the qt young office grillz love coming to me for help as I'm not a socially awkward dickhead or a stuck up arrogant prick
>akshully better bucks that running muh own dept....

"How can a I help you young lady?"

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>>all the qt young office grillz love coming to me for help
m8 call me jaded but they come to you because they can use you.

Granted. But 99% of the time I fix their problem and both of us walk away with a smile on our faces. I should've maybe added
>married 22 yrs, couple of kids

I'm not chasing anything other than a cheeky flirt and maybe a peck on the cheek.

Which is a fuck load more than the young blokes get...

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>>do a full recalibration of the motorized parts
Where do you have motorized parts in a door? Are these amerilard doors that you don't need to operate yourself to further improve obesity?

>one time use code has any value
youre the one with low iq user

I am not even much of a tech wizard, but as the only male worker in an otherwise female workplace I am the to-go-to nerd who can solve anything computer related. The boomer aged women I work with are so shit with computers its unbelievable how they get any shit done and how much time they waste trying to do their job.

>teacher working on laptop
>user my mouse doesn't work and the touchpad is so hard to use help me
>its a wireless mouse we got recently to replace an old regular wired one
>I take out the usb dongle and put it back in and press the on button for 3 seconds
>its on now and it works now
>omg thanks user you're the best
>she had already wasted at least 30 minutes struggling with the touchpad not getting anything done

>teacher has to send an email to 20+ parents every week
>she complains how it takes ages to write all the parents email addresses so everyone gets the mail
>30+ minutes wasted on the computer every time she has to send an email to all the parents just because she has to type the recipients one by one every time
>I make her an email group list so she can just click that once and add in all the 20+ addresses the mail is supposed to go to in 1 second
>she looks at me like I just invented the wheel or made fire for the first time in the history of man

>teacher writing an email during a meeting
>after 1,5 hours of writing stuff, she's supposed to send it
>she accidentally closes the email without sending, panics its all gone and she has to start over
>I take a look and go to the drafts tab
>its there and nothing was lost
>thanks me as sincerely as if I saved her kid from a car crash or something of equal importance

>all our workplace computers forcefully update to Win10
>the old boomer women can get even less done on the computers now that it looks different from before
>user help I can't find my files anymore
>press Win key, find my computer, make her a desktop icon for it (wasn't there by default)
>areyouawizard.jpeg

Feels good to be useful.

This is actually pretty wholesome

>never asked to fix anything because nobody trusts me and my family sees me as a retarded child
don't know if i should be happy about this or not

>what is +E
but nice

>>press Win key,
>>what is +E

*makes "Where is the 'Any' key" dad joke*

>"code" starts with https
>i... it could be a code and not an URL user!
are you even trying faggot?

I was talking about the first part you absolute down
>the app says to put the code that you've received in the mail
>i tell her to put the code without watching it
if you think that a one time use code is of any importance, youre a fucking retard

>Windows
>Locks
>Mirrors
You know, stuff that's come standard on base model cars since like 99. Unless your 60000€ 0.9l Diesel fiat still has Manual everything (except the transmission) to keep the price down because 80% sales tax and 50% vat to pay for those poor refugees housing and food and white child prostitutes

There was a kid in my high school who managed to get a GBA emulator into one of the shared folders and would sell "access", the filepath, to the folder so people could fuck around.

Nearly started a riot when he got the idea of selling individual ROMs to people hidden elsewhere on the network.

>code to register as a worker in the app
>not important
ok, now you've reached retardation

>use code to register for your moms friend
>code has been used
>O FUCK DONT LEAK IT, ITS AN EXPIRED CODE
this is how retarded you are

>It's been used
it hadn't been used you king of dumbass faggotry, i've never said it in the greentext. what i've said is that she confused the URL that redirected to the code, with the code itself.

i'm
again.
i didn't put the code for her, she putted it, but failed at first attempt with the url, that's why it isn't expired

r/onions