Unfortunately, we have decided not to move forward with your application

Haha 9th times the charm right guys......life can’t possibly get worse haha.....

>Although it is clear that someone with your qualifications has much to offer, we have been unable to identify an ideal match between your particular background and experience and our current needs. However, we will keep your resume in our files on the chance that a suitable position should become available at a later date.

>We appreciate your participation in our recruiting process and wish you the best in your job search.

Some of the polite phrases I can understand but
>However you left a positive impression and we encourage you to apply for other positions at in the future

What even is the point of lying like this?

Only 9 applications? Or 9 interviews. Because 9 applications ain't shit. 9 interviews is only a lot if you mean 9 different companies too, since some companies will make you go through as many as 10 different kinds of interviews nowadays.

>it's really due to your lack of experience and we were hoping to hire somebody who can hit the ground running in this position
Is there a secret HR pasta or something? Why do they always write the same stuff?

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it's bullshit
just more bullshit
needless nonsense
HR people need to be set on fire

>fortunately, we have decided to move backward with your application

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oh shit

I remember when I was looking for interview advice and I came across this on a list of "red flags" for HR recruiters:

>5. Too polished.
>Wait, isn't it a good thing when the candidate has all the answers? Not necessarily, warns Holliday. "I have a collection of questions that few people can be prepared for. If you are, then that's not a knockout blow, but it does worry me," he writes. "When I ask, 'Tell me about your worst failure on a job, where you thought you were gonna get fired. Explain the outcome' and you have some smarmy, slick answer, I start to worry.

I can only imagine the mind of an HR recruiter is like an insect

think about this for a second. the HR was trying to deliver a "knockout blow" to the person he is interviewing, and when it doesn't invalidate the candidate he's worried because it should have invalidated them.

Cause you don't need to be a smart person to be in HR.
No qualifications what so ever.

How many times some HR fool asked me a technical question only to stand with a blank face.

hr recruiters literally get off on their power over candidates, imagine having complete control over somebody's career future

>ive only gone and bloody got the bugger

I can't even get mcdonalds to hire me, what am I supposed to do after I graduate? I'm so fucked bros.

>apply to job
>get a couple phone interviews
>did well on them, things moving forward
>get phone call one day
>"lmao we ran out of jobs"
I was so angry and confused after being strung out for 4 weeks.

Please understand that companies hire copywriters and marketers to craft rejection emails to make you feel useless and garbage.

You must understand there are many incompetent people in these companies as well as people who got in not through merit but through connections (ie family) or favors such as sex. Never give up user

S-so they lied when they told me they liked me and they would call me for a job at the next opportunity?

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No. They gave one alleged reason. It is not certain it was the truth.

I lost my job some years ago and applied to academia here. And got all kinds of weird rejections I found rather weird. In a couple of cases they employed students who had not yet completed their degrees, even. The clue was that it was their own students. Searching for terms like "academic inbreeding" shows a lot of articles that are closer to the truth, I never had a chance.

Just lie and say you’re Mexican. I did that and landed interviews at tons of major companies while being under qualified.

>come to work in the morning
>boss hands me letter, doesn't say anything
>as I rip open the couvert I remember him talking literally behind my back about how they are not going to extend co-worker's temp contract because he lacks the skills
>while pulling out the letter, think of all the times I had to google or asked questions regarding workload
>slowly unfold it
we are happy to inform you that we are going to extend your temp contract indefinitely

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>be temp
>get told it's a 3 month contract
>3 months comes up and nobody's talked to me about it
>"oh yeah it's indefinite but we'll hire you soon"
>one year later get hired perm
>fucking hate that shithole for all the stupid crap they did
>leave 6 months later after doing nothing for 2 months straight, literally butts in seats
And guess what? Now I'm at a new job doing JACK SHIT AS WELL FOR TWO MONTHS but at least the pay is good but that's about it I hate this place too

my friend worked for a bank and he said after 2 years of working there he never did a single task that actually mattered

Oh I should also mention that when I showed up on day one for both jobs I had 1) no desk 2) no chair 3) no computer despite being hired to program. It took over a month to get those as well.

>26
>NEET programmer
>living at parents
>father bothers me about finding a job
>I guess its time
>send out 2 CVs
>get invited for both
>land both jobs
I just want to continue sitting at home and taking it easy.

good, this will make him/the rest of the herd stronger

Hr is that job where you barely do anything else besides decide if some dude eats or not every now and then I should apply and just fake smile at everyone and pretend I’m working

this but instead of landing the job I got humiliated at interviews and literally bullied

>21, just out of uni
> send out CV because why the fuck note
>HR calls, ask the usual what's your qualities and shit
>answer while playing csgo
>2 weeks later, HR calls back
>We wanna see u, come at 2 pm at company tomorrow
>go
>I fucking sign the contract right there
>Have job now

go to the welfare office in all of your sonic merchandise and aquire neetbux

>drop out of college
>get job a year later because of nepotism

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This

Job market is fucked and even if you have an impressive resume they still cater 100% to faggots they actually already have some connection to even if it doesn't make sense to hire them. Thank god for globalism and women in the workplace, it's fun having so much competition.

tfw got juicy connections but blew the interviews bad and ruined my chances

>interned at a place for 2.5 years
>graduation was coming up, company said they'd extend me an offer
>worked for 20hrs a week for 2+ years, thought I would be taken on as an intermediate level with ~85k salary
>HR gets back and says they can only give fresh grads 72k
>fuck that, start job hunting
>applied to a fuckton of places
>only got two interviews
>first was a meme coding interview, albeit not as difficult as the west coast ones
>got offered 92k, but was SRE work
>second interview was really chill, I just talked to the heads of the project about building out a big data platform in Hadoop/Spark
>got offered 95k the next day
>said my goodbyes and left my company a week before graduation
>start my new job a month after graduating
>all is good, but quickly start to realize that I'm literally doing pajeet tier work
>haven't even touched Spark since I started, mostly just extracting data from Excel sheets in Python and storing it in a database
>felt myself getting more stupid and even less marketable than I already was
>fast forward 1.5 years
>looking for jobs again, to get out of this hellhole
>every place I apply to rejects me
>feeling down in the dumps, wonder if I should just wade through the shit and get complacent
>after all, it's not too bad, and I get overpaid for doing basically nothing
>out of nowhere, co-worker from place I interned at calls me back, says they're doing some cool shit, asks if I've got time for an interview
>go and talk to the team, everyone's chill, it's clear to me that I'll be learning a lot if I switch jobs
>get offered a position for 110k
>took it, been back since April

Rejection sucks, but it feels like my tactic for avoiding it is to form strong relationships with people you work with. Never try to jump ship when you're uncertain about anything, only take the risk when you've already got a job.

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connections is literally the only way to get ahead in this age, applications without connections are fucking worthless

I don't even try at interviews anymore, because 9/10 times I reject them first. So sick of one-upping spergs who talk over each other and talk about asinine things.

>Be out of a job so long I took art up as a hobby and now I draw porn for a living
Have fun wagecucks, I get to wake up when I want and watch anime with breakfast every morning. [spoiler]Then I draw people's OCs sucking on toes.[/spoiler]

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post toes

i fucking love humblebragging. please keep posting, user. i've been edging for while and i need to bust.

FUCKING KEK

>tfw my dad is a relatively big deal contractor working with and for richfags with an absolute shitton of friends and connections to higher ups in a ton of different companies
>He's a self-made boomer through and through and won't give anyone recommendations for me because he thinks everyone has to earn their positions all on their own

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help me user i'm dying inside here

take solace in the knowledge that you have one of the best FNG stories of all time
>hired to program
>spend a month without a computer
future you will appreciate this story at social events

>social events
user who do you think I am, I'm posting on Jow Forums at work

>doesnt go to coworkers' happy hour events
stay bereft of connections, user. I'm literally breaking into the industry through these that my gf (who works at a tech company) invites me to.
get it together

>Military combat vet, 11b
>Wife and kids.
>Degree in econ, A+ & net plus certs. No good econ jobs and already work IT.
> Current job is phone support. Only make 33k.
>Try applying for a state University entry level IT. 45k.
>4 interviews for different positions. Get rejected by all.
>Wife who works at University says that she hears her boss bitching about how they have to interview vets and how she doesn't plan on giving them the job so it's a waste of time.

I have found more University types and white collar in general hate military vets and just assume you are fucked up.

Your dad's a self-deluded fool who edited all the times he was helped by people in his network out of his memory/story.

it's true, most white collars hate military because it makes you seem blue collar and lower class. you only get a pass if you did something like air force or similar. engineering firms are more likely to appreciate you since they inherently interact more with practical blue collar applications.

>coworkers don't go to bars after work
Guess I'll get drunk at home then

At least they said you something. Here they just don't call you anymore and leave you waiting until your hopes rot away.

there's no reason for them to contact you. if they never reject you then you can never cause a scene and they can always call on you later if they feel like it.

create it yourself
>everyone has flex work hours
>hey lets go to happy hour at X bar on [weekday] for Y random reason
>20 people say fuck yes fuck this place ill see you at 4 on [weekday]
>people chat and swap stories for 1-2hrs while coworkers arrive/leave
>your social position is elevated for """organizing""" this happy hour event
not hard user

I've been keeping track.
275 positions applied to.
6 Phone calls with HR
1 Interview
>"You're not a good fit for this position, but there is front end opening I think you're perfect for..."
Then ghosted.

I also work at a place where there are literally no people younger than me and everyone is at least twice my age, or old enough that radio-carbon dating is insufficient and top astrophysicists are hard at work determining their ages from how red shifted they are

>or old enough that radio-carbon dating is insufficient and top astrophysicists are hard at work determining their ages from how red shifted they are

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>I have all the free time in the world
>I instead choose to use it all up with being a complete retard
At least get a drug addition or shoplift or something. Yikes.

You just sound bitter you can't support your lifestyle by drawing porn every now and then for retards with more money than brains.

Bless you user
I gotta drink after this reply

>complete retard
>he doesnt know how much porn artists make
careful user, don't open patreon or search commission pricing if you want to maintain your sanity

porn artists don't make shit compared to a white collar software job

I will never know how to cope knowing that there is some faggot out there making 50k$ a month for a shit fucking furry game.

enjoy it while it lasts, user. i'm sure 10 years from now people in the developing nations will be drawing furry OCs for $1 a pop

There are already pretty good ones for like $5 on the usual sites though

There's something for you're CV.
>Leveraged Macromedia Flash to create the internet's top-rated hentai/rape/transformation/furry/bestiality/vore/unbirth/oviposisition/scat/parasite-phelia/slavery/tentacles text-based RPG.

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I wish I could put my wow raiding guid leadership on my CV, it's legit the best leadership and team building experience I've ever done

>two months pass
>only find out from an insider that someone else was hired
ONE.
NOTHING WRONG WITH ME.

I remember having a good career, being payed well
then one day I got sick and it started to get worse
now I have no job, no one is going to hire me after being out of work for years
I have no good excuse
what am I supposed to tell them I'm schizophrenic and I lost it all at during the job interview?
those of you who are young at least are starting out and have valid excuses for not having it together
I have none
I have trouble even talking normally anymore because I got knocked out too many times I can sound like a retard when I speak
my memory is shit, I can't recall words in the middle of sentences and people get upset even when ordering a fucking coffee or something like that
I like how templeos guy got lots of fans but he still offed himself which I understand
it's still cool to see him stickied honestly even though he probably gave up and didn't take medication
I'm fucking trying and everythings gone now I was making loot and it's all over
lol thanks for reminding me with this thread

I'm sorry but this is actually quite funny.
I don't think I was a neet for more than two days before I got my first job right after uni.

just schizo post on the chans like all the other schizos

You could pass it off as organising a hobby club or something like that.

I do
if there was some xkeyscore type app where you could look up all posts made by said person with 95% accuracy I'd like to read all my shit
because sometimes I'll come back 24hrs later and read what I read in still open thread and I realize I was off my shit somehow

that's what I need for my future job interviews, a printed out stack of paper that weighs 20llbs with all my Jow Forums posts
niggerjews this is my resume

he's probably non-american, shit is rough in some parts of the world. I'm in canada and I'm envious of the american job market.

>Wife and kids
>Vet
>Degree
>33k

Bahahah, how did you fuck up so bad?
Veterans are such self entitled retards?

No user, I'm sorry, but you're the one with the mind of an insect. Your worst failure should never sound smarmy or slick because YOU FAILED
F-A-I-L-E-D
as in fucked up, did not succeed, almost cost *yourself* your livelihood, your means to feed and house yourself.
The kind of people who try to make abject failure sound like anything else... Would you trust that kind of person with your house? Would you trust that kind of person with your car, or anime figurines? "Yeah, i crashed the whole company's internal network but the other tech guy got fired for it instead so no worries mate." XD real funny man, i sure do want you working for my company! Or not.
Moron.

based schizo posters keeping Jow Forums lively

Vets usually are retarded kids that suddenly have way too much money and marry the first pig they can find to get out of the barracks. user is peak fucking boot.

This makes me sad
Is it possible that I'm not autistic after all?

> haha 900th time the charm guys..

>>get job a year later because of nepotism
based

If I had the option of choosing between two candidates about as qualified as each other, and one was exmil, I'd send the exmil packing without even a thought. Exmils have such a huge sense of entitlement and act like they're still in the military for the rest of their lives, spewing out military jargon and "bragging" about shit that nobody cares about.

This. And the constant "hurr you don't know what it's like fucking civilians durr hurr I can't find back to civil life" get fucking treatment for your PTSD and get the fucking broomstick out of your ass you entitled cunts.

Ok, so I should take my military service off my resume?

I wouldn't hire you anyone dumb enough to enlist for the jew needs their head checked.

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>Do a bunch of big N pre-interview assessments for summer internship
>Basically build small applications or leetcode mediums
>No responses after
>No hope for internship
>Last minute see a small local company is taking interns
>Throw in app and get an interview a week later
>In person interview with COO and was asked simple questions like "What is the MVC? How would you optimize site resources?" Basically intro comp sci stuff
>Working there now

Look at small companies lads, try to look up people who may not even be advertising employment. My team is actually competent and there's no time wasting thanks to SCRUM development cycles.

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>Just bee yourself :^)

Ok, shitty jokes apart, what I've done (and it just werks on my shithole of a country), just put the exact skills needed for the job, of you put more, you will get that shit, and yes, fucking HR cunts are the mob hitmen, so you need to get into their good side, believe me, I'm socially inept, but just practicing enough the catchphrases "I want to get more challenges" of you are underqualified, "I think I'm the perfect match for the job", the secret is tell them what they want to hear, never show other emotions, they smell fear, if you think that you will spill your spaguetti, can be fixed with practice.

t. HR fag defending his worthless job.

Sorry, but your job can be easily replaced by any AI, and better, because it can search on facebook and twitter better than you.

Can't imagine the pain of interviewing autistic fucks that starts the answer to every fucking question with "eeeeeeh"

holy fuck, i'm sorry for you user but could you share the structure of your CV?

You only get those on IT, but it's like your fucking job, IT fags have to get the pain of responding the same questions every fucking time, or technical questions of stuff you cannot understand without an adult there.

Tl:dr, dilate.

Yes. Only have it on gov applications