Why don't you have a smart toilet?

It analyzes your poop and tells you you need more fiber.

sasuga

it's next to the sink, not anywhere near the toilet
my bathroom isn't some 0.1sqm euro bathroom

>can’t do a simple wiring job

>willingly joining the poopnet
Why would you let the CIA know about your pooping habits and take photos of your asshole?

I don't need toilets, they are obsolete to me. I just pee in my shower and shit in my garden.

Wow, I have the same remote control for my bidet.

>tfw the botnet wants me to pee while sitting

You don’t already? Absolutely disgusting.

Just shit in the streets

>smart
>fully manual controls

So?

You are more likely to get a disease by sitting on a toilet than by drinking your own piss. You tell me which one is more disgusting.

>he uses public toilets

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>have food poisoning
>multiple flushes tells the toilet Im wasting water, which is bad for the earth
>it goes into lockdown for 24 hours
>the botnet doesnt want me to shit

Not my fault you are an autist who doesn't work.

It's your fault for not jailbreaking it

I would feel uncomfortable with a toilet smarter than me.

>tfw toilet takes a shit on you

>tfw smart toilet uses non free software

Tbh, I never cared for it until I tried one that I included a heated seat at my gf's place. I have to admit that it was comfy af.

no schematics + open firmware.
why shit in a botnet toilet when i can go outside and drop a deuce in a Free As In Freedom(tm) hole in the ground and wipe my shit ass with Leaves-Libre?

>OutSense had on display a toilet with a box attached to the seat fitted with a tiny Intel computer that connects to a mobile app that helps analyze excretions. “We want to make sampling of stool history,” said Dr. Yaara Kapp-Barnea, the chief executive of the company. The stool analysis data is sent to a cloud and from there can be used to manage health, nutrition and stress issues, Kapp-Barnea said.
neat

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So the CIA can spy on your shit?
Terry would be rolling in his grave.

Unfortunately, ryzen and toilet is not a good pairing.

You street-shitter

>Leaves-Libre
Implying these are not property of Nature, Inc

You don't use deblobbed leaves to clean your man mud? casual.

It's the only way to be botnet free, and to make sure that you actually own your poops.

Proprietary shit is the worst.

Public toilets are an exception
I don't think my butt has ever touched a public toilet

I don't like it when my toilet is smarter than me

Your actual turds are probably smarter than you, user.

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But then your municipality takes responsibility for your shit, and your man mud suddenly belongs to Big Brother.

>2019
>not wanting to be part of the global DatabAnus

If I shit in the street everyone can see it, take it, leave it, smell it, modify it, and know what's in it, but if I poo in loo then nobody can.

> have to take a shit
> the toilet needs to update
fuck

If it's yellow, let it mellow
If it's brown, oh fuckin well loser lmao you still gotta wait submit to your toilet overlord

>tfw no gf

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I only use my toilets for dumps