Bidet thread

>i don't make a habit out of taking public shits. Hence, why would I have any knowledge of strange equipment used to facilitate it?
you could just say you never leave the house for more than 6 hours at a time.

shit thread

>douche to clean shitty asshole
a douche only works for small amounts of """caca""" per se

Am sure my neighbors heard me laughing at that.

>imagine not knowing how to properly wipe your own ass

I can go a day without needing to shit, user. You need to quit the prunes

>not shitting daily
that isnt healthy

Wipe with soap and water
No investment required

Wipe your ass a little bit with the paper then carefully walk to the shower and wash the shit out of your ass with the power of the shower stream.

Basado y bidetpastillado.

No.
Bidet's are greatly overrated and your butthole needs to be basically clean already before they can do anything.

Or you just have a shitting routine.
Mine is in the morning. That's when I shit every day.

That's why you spray, wipe and spray again. When you start shitting out water, you know your hole is good to go for one last wipe.

Based

bidets effectiveness varies greatly depending on the size of the ass and shit consistency.

a huge ass with hairy asscheeks smeared full of nougat consistency shit will be harder to clean without a powerful jet.

>not showering when you poop
>owning toilet paper at all
Are you even white?

>not using the shit on your ass for better lubrication for walking and fucking

fucking casual

Shit once in the AM before showering and be done with it. If you're shitting multiple times a day then you have bigger problems

>no, paper will never get rid of all of it
Neither will water, unless you're using soap too. Paper will get rid of 99% of it, however, and non-savages wear underwear. Besides, most people take their shit before their morning shower, making this a non-issue unless you need emergency cleaning so you can have niggers tongue your anus after your spontaneous midday shits.

>not removing the majority of the matter beforehand
>letting it all just stream down your leg as it washes away
You're definitely not white user.

I'd need to shower 2-3 times a day and I don't have the time for they.

anyone having to shit more than once a day is very likely a faggot who had his asshole destroyed by frequent ass poundings.

>not using soap to wash you hands
>running around with a wet ass

Attached: washing-hands-soap-washroom-sink-9838255[1].jpg (1300x976, 132K)

That's why toilet paper exists. To dry your clean ass.

>not spitting on the toilet paper before you do your final wipes

Feel good having a bidet with auto-deodorizer and auto bowel cleaning plus warm water to the ass.

Attached: DSC_0858.jpg (4403x2477, 956K)

How do you use it when every label is in Japanese?

jesus christ that looks cramped, imagine living in a 2x2 apartment in japan and defending it because "muh anime"

Why dont you just get thise jap toilets that clean your ass for you?

How do you know you've actually got rid of all the poop vs the bidet? Like have you actually measured it? I bet you have no idea. The bidet just turns your poop into liquid poop. lmao he has liquid poop still on him hahahahaha

>not shitting yourself every day
>unhealthy
What else does your mutt education teach you?

Why not use pic related instead of that junk? There is no arguing against bidets anyway.

Attached: imageService.jpg (680x680, 36K)

I'm fluent with nip-speak so not a problem.

A bit cramped but still sufficient to fit a 180cm wide desk.

>want to buy one of those bidet toilet-seats but am afraid people will think im some wierdo.
I JUST WANT A CLEAN ASSHOLE OK?

Attached: 1449976757263.jpg (468x468, 24K)

just shit once per day before your morning shower
problem solved

>shitting more than once a week
huh?

>westerners
Bidet is a french loanword.

which is exactly why i don't know how i should be pronouncing it

Are the portable bidets any good? I have one at home but I hate taking a shit at work without my bidet.

just don't shit at work, then?

I always have to shit as soon as I get into work. It's the stim shit from the coffee.

>he doesn't shit in the shower.

Attached: girls of dubious quality.jpg (866x2208, 421K)

Pls tell me they're >18 bc my pp hard

>wanting a perfectly clean ass so you can't scratch your ass and sniff your fingers

either way you're the gay now

>now
lel

What's a good douche to use to prepare for anal?

non-exclusive, of course

This thing honestly been a life saver for me since I got my colon removed and now have a J-pouch resulting in burning shit.

get your bf to piss in your ass

Yo yes, its an old pic from 10 or 12. They are probably in their 30's now.

>non-exclusive, of course
what does that even mean?

"now" is non-exclusive
something being non-exclusive means that it doesn't exclude anything else, in this case, i'm saying you being gay now doesn't exclude you being gay before

what's you're native language?

Just press all the buttons and receive the full course treatment.

Just do it. It'll feel good. Trust me.

Native language is English. I just though non-exclusive was a new gender. Back to shitting in the shower. In college dorm, I sometimes layed a loaf in the shower.

They put up a flyer and everything.

>I just though non-exclusive was a new gender.
fucking kids and their gender confusion shit

I'm a westerner and use a bidet, pic related, took it right now as I'm taking a shit. I'm going on a vacation with my gf in a few months and it will be the first time I have sex abroad, I still can't fathom not being able to wash my dong and balls after having sex at home

Attached: img_eggsif_4536847674472827277.jpg (2988x5312, 3.07M)

Don't you have a building to blow yourself in, Mohammad?

>not doing it 3 times a day. Before every meal.

awoooga

I live and USA and I wash my ass with soap after every shit. Get on my level.

Playing with ur ass is not tech

>if you don't have watery diarrhea every 2 hours you are unhealthy
what the fuck are amerimutts taught about the digestive system? maybe stop eating 2 kilos of lard if you don't want to shit every day

I douche after every shit
>2019
>having fecal matter in your rectum

Attached: 1359600240288.jpg (390x382, 15K)

This is the strangest use of "per se" I have ever come across.

What is the point of the drain stopper?
Is that a basin you intend to fill up?
Do you use your hands to scrub your bunghole during the bidet process?
Also do you wipe after you rinse?

i have so many questions

Almost all the turkish apartments I visited had these installed into the toilet. They're usually full of shit and pretty disgusting.

Attached: serveimage.jpg (415x606, 60K)

Oh and I forgot: you have to actually touch them with your hands and lift the pipe so the stream actually cleans your anus. Like I said: disgusting.

T*rks are fucking repulsive