I just had to fire my IT guy for the worst reason ever

I just had to fire my IT guy for the worst reason ever.

Tl;dr: he's lactose intolerant, and has the worst gas ever. So we keep him in his own office, and have him use the bathroom at the opposite end of us.

This worked for us so far, but we have a new worker here who apparently didn't know of his condition, and brought everyone Starbucks with her last week (him included). The IT guy is kind of the introverted stereotype you'd expect from people in this line of work, but in a more timid innocence kind of way. So he accepted and drank the coffee to be polite.

I kept thinking "ruh oh, Raggy!" when I saw that, but for a good while it didn't seem to have an effect on him. But soon enough, even though I was in my office with my door closed, and his office was literally on the other side from mine, *THAT* smell started seeping in. Shortly after, you could heard distinct murmuring from outside, and coworkers expressing worry (even poking their heads out like frightened hens). Then one of my older workers had an asthma attack, and a couple people tried to help him, but everyone else ran out in search for safety (the girl who brought the coffee ran out screaming with her hand over her mouth -- and vomited in the elevator). I stayed behind a little bit, because I was trying really not to laugh. But when I caught my breath and tried leaving, I could hear very distinct PPHHHBBBTTT! PPBBBBBTTTTT! PPPPHHHHHBBBBBBTTTTT! sounds coming from his office (and they were as loud as fire crackers).

The higher-ups were pissed, and wanted me to axe the guy. I spent the rest of the week trying to defend him, and arguing that firing him for a medical condition is possibly discrimination. But according to our lawyers, that's only if a few people made complaints about his condition, not the entire office (we're an at will state). So I had to give him the pink slip.

If you're on here, IT guy. I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I really tried to stick up for you.

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Wow, I hope that guy sues your ass.

It's that magical hour of the night when people make up bullshit stories.

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It's bullshit but I'll choose to believe it.

Fuck you you fat fuck

I laughed 10 minutes straight. Thanks user.
Sorry that guy had that happen

>PPHHHBBBTTT! PPBBBBBTTTTT! PPPPHHHHHBBBBBBTTTTT!

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>dude I'm lactose intolerant but drink lactose to be polite
what a retard

>firing someone for medical reasons out of their control

Enjoy getting sued to oblivion

>But according to our lawyers, that's only if a few people made complaints about his condition, not the entire office (we're an at will state).
If you stated it had any reason to do with his lactoce intolerance you're retarded or your lawyers were thinking you were joking

AH, corp culture being immature like always

>The higher-ups were pissed, and wanted me to axe the guy. I spent the rest of the week trying to defend him, and arguing that firing him for a medical condition is possibly discrimination. But according to our lawyers, that's only if a few people made complaints about his condition, not the entire office (we're an at will state). So I had to give him the pink slip.


If this were true you got lied to hard and going to get kinda fucked here. At will states mean you can fire for any reason not, except for those protected by workers rights such as age/race/medical conditions/etc. This guy will with ease win unemployement and if he talks to virtually any lawyer he has a good case on his hand. Your lawyers are either incompetent or thought you would find another reason for firing him. GJ you'll be on the axe now if he has 2 neurons and can put this point together.

i got fired for not wanting to go to iraq and live in a tent and fix servers, fite me

as usual women ruin everything

This is (you) quality at best. If not, people working at your office ((you) included) are bunch of fucking pansy ass faggots.
Even if the bloke lost his job, I feel more sorry for you and your coworkers. Bunch of pathetic jerks in all honesty.
I've just read the most silly and pathetic story in the past seven days. Congratulations.

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WTF man, you should have called the FBI, this was nothing less than a terrorist attack
you shouldn't feel sorry for him, in any other workplace, he would have spent the rest of his life in jail

reminds me of this
youtube.com/watch?v=5ccp-lEmoAE

>t. farter

You're a good, nice person OP. We need more like you in this place.
Anyway, don't you have the IT guy's e-mail address or phone number? You could ask your coworkers for it.

>But according to our lawyers, that's only if a few people made complaints about his condition, not the entire office
You need new lawyers. They're fucking retarded and should be dis-bared for this level of fuckery.

If he had any sense, he'd sue not only wrongful termination but also punitive damages as well.

Gave me a big chuckle. Stinky if true.

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Please god let this be real

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Semirelated but when you have blood in your stool when should you go to the doctor. I only shit once a week (ever since I was 5 or something) so I often have blood in my stool just do to the size. I'm kind of concerned now though, as the amount of blood has increased a lot lately. Normally I would just attribute that to maybe not drinking enough water, but I've also been have really bad stomach pains, and nausea when walking around. The blood is still bright red. I'm only 22 so I'm still kind of hesistant to say it might be something serious.

All this guy had to do was not consume dairy before and during work hours.

>have IBS
>stomach constantly making noises
>cope by thinking people can't hear it when they probably can
>office job so no sound to block it

It keeps me up at night thinking that people think of me as a farting mess since thats what it sounds like, and ive been at the same place for 4 years

crohns

Talk about bad luck OP, it's like the seventh or eighth IT guy you fire for the exact same reason. Good luck on the next one anyway.

You're company is keeping some really shit lawyers on retainer, if they advised that they should be disbarred.

Have a (you), you've earned it

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holy shit dude. go see a doctor. normal people shit once every 24 hours

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>old copypasta get posted again
>people in this threadd take it seriously

nice

hot

I've read this pasta before, but unironically, you would get sued for firing someone like that.

>walking biohazard that shits out nerve gas

Should shill him to your competitors