Alright Jow Forums

Alright Jow Forums
>the zombie apocalypse has started in your country
>you start in your hometown, pic related is your companion
>your goal is to get to the capital for extraction to safety
What do?

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Keep her around until food gets scarce.
Then kill and eat her to survive, she's too fat to effectively fight back anyways.

i live in the capital so that's an immediate win for me

>go to london in order to be safer
Nah mate, think I'll stay here and put a wardrobe in front of the door.

Who is she? Is she my family member or just some random woman?

I fuck the shit out of her, then abandon her and go innawoods. Im too far from the capitol to make it. The woods are a better chance.

Hmmmm~, I would let her get behind since that large of a human being cannot keep up, hence, she'll die. Again, I can easily go to the capital. all alone.

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A fellow survivor who was in your town at the beginning of the outbreak and met you while wandering, she decided it’d be good to stick with someone during the crisis.

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id grow a huge dick and then put it up her pussy and then i would carry her around on my dick till we got to the capital
easy

also this. Washington DC is a shithole with 4 times higher rate of violent crime than the national average. Those kikes and niggers would destroy themselves and collapse in a zombie apocalypse within a week.

>go to the construction site
>get crane
>attach companion to the end
>no longer have to support the beast with food
>can even detach her for extra food in case I run out
>drive to the capital, destroying zombies and survivors alike with the power of my wrecking beast
>pick up gas along the way using the shekels I find from the survivors I slaughtered
>meet the president
>get in my wrecking ball
>kill him
>drive north
>mfw I'm going to Canada

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no fair, all of your country is close to your capitol!

Canniballism

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Then I say unto her to heck off and stop slowing me down

For anons whose capital gets destroyed or fucked beyond belief, an attempt to get to the biggest or best city might be a good alternative.

If she had been your cousin or something what do then?

Id rather fuck a zombie

i reckon she could distract a horde of zombies for like 4 hours with how long it would take for them to eat her, then all the zombies would start having heart attacks and clogged arteries

why

I'm pretty certain I will do just fine if I stay in my flat for a two days and wait it out until all zombies are frozen.

She could probably keep up if the two of you managed to get a car, though gas would be an issue.

I would cut her stomach open and sleep inside her.

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Her's or the car's?

give her to the zombies

ignore her and leave

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that's a big cannonball

The real question is, wich segments of her would be the tastiest?

It always bothered me how people in zombie shows managed to rummage up so much gasoline after the apocalypse, maybe it’s better in England? Either way a bigger challenge would be getting her in the car in the first place.
If you could really find a way to use her weight to your advantage that could be pretty useful. Someone that heavy could crush a zombie’s skull no problem, the slowness and sheer size could be an obstacle though.

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Bump

Your average station can hold at least a few hundred car tanks of fuel, but no idea how anyone gets it out of the ground without electricity to run the pumps...

You could siphon gas from tankers and other cars for your own vehicle too. In this case the bigger the car the better if the two of you hope to fit and plow over zombies with it.

Let’s not forget fat is bouyant, so in England’s case you could hold onto the fatty like a life raft as the two of you float downstream to London through the Thames. I don’t think zombies can swim, but then again you’d have to deal with all that shitwater.

Genius
Screw the captial and the fatass, I'm living in the woods Tom Sawyer style.

>thames
I don't think the cocaine level in the water would have a positive effect on the zombies in the region.

Good point about siphoning random vehicles though. Hell, a screwdriver through the bottom of the tank would work too.

Cocaine zombies aren’t ones I’d like to encounter, neither you and certainly not fatass could outpace an undead Charlie Sheen.

England is served well in that it’s an island, so theoretically the two of you could get a boat and go around towards the capital that way. It’s probably a safer bet than on land honestly. Fuel and piloting are issues there but it could be possible.

Come to think of it London police don’t even have guns do they? They’d get overwhelmed pretty quick I think so when you got there things would get even harder unless the military took good control.

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Boat would get you in, yeah.
No guns apart from at airports, where I assume the extraction point would be anyway.

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but quote-chan..

Alright. So, both of you manage to get into a London harbor by boat. Don’t know much of the city since I’ve never been but it would be the hardest part. You and her need to get through the hoards through the city, dodging zombies and panicked, possibly drunken citizens, all while heading to the airport. Don’t know how that would go...

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AN airport is accessible pretty much directly from the Thames, but it's a small one. If that's the extraction point then it's kind of easy. If it's Heathrow then it's not.

all i have to do is get to L.A. and that's it.
that's where the new gov't would be located because it's the biggest fucking population center on this side of the U.S. and it's only about an hour drive for me.

I imagine the extraction point would be the one the military had best access too, was best defended from zombies, and most operational during an outbreak like this. Whichever of the two that fit the bill best would likely be the place to trek too I’d think.

I would fucking kill her then I would cook her because that whale will last me a week. How I carry her you ask? I will probably just steal a car from a rich couple and leave them to die.

>royal docks
Could be then. Problem solved!
I imagine it's not so simple for you?

Nah, DC is a pretty big shithole and it’d be hard to get in considering how many people are in and around it that would get zombiefied. At least there’s lots of guns over here but that would bring lots of attention cause of the noise.

It could be possible, but very hard.

But your cars are bigger. Why does nobody in a zombie film have a monster truck? That's pretty much immunity right there.

Didn’t think of that actually. I could load myself and the fatty up into the truck and just plow down everything in my path on the highway, really is the best solution desu, plus there’s no chance of zombie viscera clogging up the grill or suspension giving out from the passenger. Fueling that thing will be a bitch though.

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off myself, no way I could make it to Ottawa, it's fucking 3.2 thousand KM away

It's an investment. Hard times getting the fuel, but it's easy street once you do.
(Plus, it's the only vehicle that might have enough suspension to support her.)

It is a pretty good idea. Get the fatty up into the truck, get enough fuel to last the trip, and neither of us have to worry about getting eaten by zombies. Still an option this great isn’t easily available outside Burgerland.

That reminds me, people aren’t considering the upsides to the companion. In order to get that fat she’s got to know where to find food, and a lot of it. That’s a good skill in the zombie apocalypse. Having a partner with a great knack for finding food is super useful on the road, so there’s a reason to keep her around and unbitten. Might even be more useful in England than America since the food industry doesn’t seem as bloated.

I don't think I've seen those things anywhere else.
So you think she's some kind of calorie bloodhound? It would be useful, but not sure it balances out the slowness and relative ease of being bitten.

You only get that fat off tons and tons of food. I’ve heard stories of and seen much smaller fatties being able to root out food in no time. My guess is that she could find enough to keep the both of you fed. The slowness and massiveness that comes with it is a problem though, so she’d need protection to not get bit. You’d have to help guard her out scavenging but the supplies I think would be worth it. Since in England there’s more countryside going into villiages to find supplies might be a good bet as long as you could get her in and out. Maybe find a way to get some armor on her?

We haven’t really considered hostile survivors either. That’d be tough, but they won’t bite.

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I'm not sure finding armour that would be... that shape... is an option outside some kind of cosplay event, but you're right that rural areas would indeed have a better food to people ratio.
As for hostile survivors, that's a problem for you over there more than here, as guns are much easier to find.

It would be tough, but any way of reducing the chances she’d get bit could help. Maybe something besides a full on traditional armor thing, she’s way too fat for that. Villiages would be good to navigate through since there’s be good amounts of food and you could help her out. I don’t know how many towns or cities besides London there are in England, but maybe it’d be good to search there too, especially if something happens to delay or muddy up the extraction.

Keeping the fatty safe while scavenging and exploring around there would have some challenges too, what might the two of you encounter as troubles over there? Maybe getting her some kind of weapon could help as well.

Defense-wise, it'd have to be leather. That at least cuts down on bite risks.
Going to small village stores and rest stops would be a safer move than cities, the population would be significantly lower, but the food stores would still be more than you can carry.
She seems unathletic, so a weapon would probably have to be something like a pike so that most of the force comes from simply holding it in place while something lunges.

Fuck off, we're full.

I'd first break the wild beast and fit it with an elephant saddle. Next, I'd clad my mount with iron plates to protect its flanks and thick neck. With a wagon filled with doritos in tow, we'd lumber confidently to the capital.

Leather is a pretty good option I think considering her size. A good vehicle is important too, which would work best over there? I assume she’d take up the whole back. A pike is probably a good choice for her. She’s too big to get too close to the zombies, that’d put her at risk since there’s so much bulging out so keeping them at range is for the best. A team approach to killing zombies could be useful, perhaps both of you could come up with a dynamic? How would you suggest keeping her safe while exploring/scavenging as well?

Something that couldn't be stopped would be some kind of truck cab, but there's no way she'd be able to get all the way up there. Maybe a transit van?
The only dynamic I can think of that would account for her lack of ability would be noise diversion. Head to the other end of the area and smack a hard surface with a stick to draw them that way and give her a chance to loot (assuming these are lumbering zombies and not the sprinter types).

In most cases the zombies aren’t very fast, so I’d say it’s a safe bet they aren’t here either. Makes me wonder how fast the fatty could move compared to them. A van may be a good bet since she could squeeze in there and wouldn’t have to climb. What other obstacle could arise due to fatness? How would you work around them? Using distractions for her is a good one, and I suppose you could head over to help out if she encountered any stragglers.

While we’re at it, what would be the worst/most dangerous place for you and her to wander into?

quote

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The main obstacle would be stamina. Frequent needs to stop, etc.
Danger would be anywhere narrow/indoors. Not only does it make it harder to avoid attacks, it would simply be harder for her to move around (or anyone who needs to move around her).

Yeah stuff over there is smaller than in the US, so she’d be at greater risk of not fitting into places. I thought of something too, would it be better to try and get to Scotland or even Ireland? Assuming there’s extraction points in those countries too it could be a good alternative to London, assuming you two could make the journey. How would you go about teamwork as well?

Scotland has only got a couple of built up areas, so would definitely be safer. Ireland is more dense and would involve a ferry that I'm assuming isn't running.
She'd be capable of driving, right? That'd be useful for hit and run supply runs on rest stops and staying in the car would be relatively safer.

She’d need to be able to fit in the driver’s seat, which could be a challenge. Plus in the front she may have less room and a harder time getting the door to shut. A weapon used vehicle, such as attaching a ram to the front, would be excellent for killing zombies. I’d be hesitant to leave her alone for too long since she’s a big and slow target for zombies. How would you handle getting her out of a predicament? Such as momentarily getting separated and her needing some help to get away from a few biters?

Also let’s say the two of you found yourselves in a decent sized city, how would you make your way out?

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I live 990 km from the capital, I do not give a shit