I just can't talk to girls, its like I've got some sort of mental block. I can't smile at them or anything to show I'm interested.
I just said to my mum "How can you expect me to talk to girls when I didn't have a role model father to teach me". She just ignored me as usual. I sometimes blame her for getting involved with my narcissistic ex-alcoholic dad. I feel like she just had me to get child support money from him.
My mother has never given me any affection as a child, ever. If I was ever upset she'd just buy me some chocolate or shitty fast food, she was the one who made me over weight. It was only when I turned 17 I lost all the fat because I wasn't at home as much when I was at college.
Being in an dysfunctional family is the root cause for all my social problems. I'm 27 now and still never had a girlfriend, or any friends even.
I just can't talk to girls, its like I've got some sort of mental block...
I'll be your friend!
judaism could fix all of that
join israeli defense force and you'll make a lot of friends and maybe a gf
it's over frens
This.
i hate most women with a passion just because of how some of them act and expect a woman to be an idiot now... i just dont talk and dont want to.
kill some
You are weak because you've been hurt by abuse and neglect. You need to take care of yourself. Learn how to rest effectively. Learn about sleep, diet, exercise, proper posture, good breathing, expressing your emotions. Get independent, create routines, take your time, pace yourself. As your vitality re-awakens you will spontaneously start noticing inspiring people you can use as role models. It will take years, but you will deeply enjoy this process. Get used to the thought that your life will be different than most of your peers and get used to people judging you because of it. Godspeed, fren.
I do all of that but I don't know how to express emotions.
Grills suck. we can all be frens
Had the same problem for years. Therapy may be helpful but you need to be careful - most counselors and therapists I've met were themselves fucked up, just hiding behind this profession to prey upon people. But not all are like that. What helped me the most personally was powerlifting, Olympic lifting, Buteyko breathing technique and Alexander technique. There is something magical that happens when your spine gets in proper shape, your chest opens up and your diaphragm gets free and you start belly - breathing. Energy starts flowing through you without getting stuck and emotions just happen. You start expressing them automatically just to maintain inner peace, without even thinking about it.
I have had a good therapist but I've not seen him for months. It's absolutely impossible to see him, they never pick up the phone, and when they ring back I can't answer as I'm at work. Also the therapist only works Monday-wednesday and I work 5-6 days a week now, it's really, really frustrating fren and I don't know what to do. I've been trying to get in touch with him for a month now.
youre talking to one right now
That's a bummer. Look around for another one and/or exercise patience. In the meantime there are many things you can do yourself, and this is what will ultimately help you the most. Even the best therapist will only take you to the point of self reliance.
fren?
Thanks fren
Yes fren?
Getting a girlfriend or friends will only solve problems in your life which are directly caused by not having a girlfriend or friends (i.e. none). Girlfriends and friends are not miracle problem-solvers and even if one wanted to "fix" you (they don't) they wouldn't be able to help any more than your mom.
If you've already tried therapy, try a psychiatrist instead. They can give you meds.
i hear ya bro. lots of ppl can arise out of dysfunction. you just have to acknowledge it like you did and work on yourself. search dysfunctional families/emotionally unstable parents and observe how people overcome their obstacles. emulate them.
I will, thank you
I've been self improving since January, the gym is the only thing that keeps me sane and motivated. I get so sad when I see a girl I like at the gym because I can't have her, but at the same time feeling really happy with how much better I look.
try talking to me!
It's a good thing. Expose yourself to these situations (within reason), you will get used to it and it won't hurt much anymore. This is what wilk get you a woman eventually. They can sense it like sharks, the moment you stop giving a fuck about them they will start buzzing around you like bees around honey giving you all sorts of signals. Then you just pick one, fren.