ITT Monkey’s Paw

Make a wish, the next person grants it for you. But you don’t get what you wish for.

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Want gf plsà

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Granted but waifu

I wish for all Germans to be eradicated

where's the flaw?

Granted but since the USA claims to have so many heritages, which also includes a lot of Germans, all Americans are eradicated too.

all americans and most europeans except black people die because they have german DNA

all anglos dead

and phonepissers as well

*the monkey paw bitch slaps you instead*

granted except Romania is eradicated as well
I wish this board wasn't so gay all the time

wish granted but you get cancer and uh you become gay

Granted but you’re banned because you’re the one making it gay

i wish for everyone happiness and mani good luck

Fug I forgod about dad :DDDDDD
Granted, though without support from Americans and the English, Romania deteriorates and Turks rush across the border, outbreeding all Romanians
Every computer and phone in existence explodes
Granted, though everyone who’s ever anti-gayposted either dies of a heart attack or disappears forever

Granted but it’s because we live under a totalitarian regimes and the only permitted emotion is happiness

Where do I begin?

kahanist global hegemony

Granted but it’s not on this globe.

Granted, Jow Forums 404's forever

I wish I had a video of a midget getting eaten by a lion.

Granted but you are now haunted by a demonic lion entity and will never sleep again.

Why would I want a wish? My life is perfectly content.

How boring

I wish my waifu was real and loves me unconditionally

Granted, but your waifu dies 2 years from now from a debilitating disease

Granted, but your mother dies in her sleep tonight if you don't repost this.

I wish that Trump releases a sex tape with his daughter

granted, only she is wearing a fursuit for the whole thing

I wish that peeing feels like cumming (the orgasm part

Honestly I wish for nothing, wishing just cheapens the effort in life. I would rather work hard for what I seek rather than for it to just magically appear because I say so.

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Granted, but you have to jerk yourself off to piss.

you get to work for everything
but you become an underprivileged peasant because work =/= efficient results
I wish for 10 hours of sleep every night

granted but you are woken up every morning by the smell of shit and it lingers for hours

Granted, but you miss out on shitposting and watching youtube. This one is actually realistic

Granted, but you wake up with debilitating diarrhea every time

Just give me a gf

granted, but she sniggers a lot

i want to hold poop please :)

granted, but first you gotta shove your arm elbow deep in your ass to take out the poop

Want kot ID.

kos ID, one off, holy FUCK that's a brutal fate
I don't sleep in the first place.

I want her to stop choking my dog.

I wish to be a Nigger

granted, but you're a brazilian monkey living in venezuela

That seems like an improvement to me

i wish for yuru yuri to come back

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granted, but it's a shitty 4kids redub that changes the plot completely, and the quality is forever stuck at 144p

I will make this

i wish for a 2hu hack & slash made by platinum

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.......GOD DAMN IT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

granted except it takes 10 years to be released

i'll wait (i waited for dmc5, and i'm still waiting for stalker 2, so i can wait until 2029)

okay, since nobody is going to bump this.

i wish for a fumo

Granted but you found it in a bin and it’s maggot-infested.

I wish to be a benevolent god

Granted but, because you have no understanding of your power, you are inundated with prayers and wreak carnage upon the planet with your misguided benevolence.

I wish I wasn't born in this shitty country

You just made it better.

I wish I had no vices.

Granted but you're born in a sub saharan country

I wish to fix anime, r/banter.

i just want 300 bucks to buy some anime trash

It is fixed but all forms are no yaoi.

>now

Granted but you have no way of viewing it since you spent all your money on anime trash.

There's a doujin with that.
Anyways my wish is that I was born in a colder country, even Greenland would be fine honestly.

Granted but it’s the arctic circle and you are forced to spend the rest of your life struggling to merely survive.

Granted but Jesus Christ what a boring fucking life that is.

Better than the desert here

Granted, but the temperature stays how it is now all year round, except for one day a year that drops incredibly close to absolute zero, lowering the mean temperature.