Be this thread

>be this thread
>be a thread to for anons to post greentext stories on

go on. post greentext stories here!

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>Be me
>get boner in class
>go to bathroom to fap it away
>enter stall
>hear stall door opening
>girl i had crush on is right in front
>realize i forgot to lock the stall
>crush screams at me
>calls me a perverted bastard runs out
>shit.jpeg

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bump

>i'm hungry
>i'm going now to eat something
>it's 12 am here
>i need to fucking sleep

cool story bro

This one is pretty autistic and my family still laughs at me when they remember it.

>Be me
>2 years ago
>Get a job in a big city close to town due to connections
>One morning on the bus, going to work
>Suddenly get an urge to shit
>It feels like somebody rammed a wooden spike that's on fire up my ass
>pain.amr
>Try to hold it in until I get to work so I can shit.
>Bus is moving really fucking slowly behind some shitty rustbucket probably made in the Soviet Union
>whynow.jpg
>After 15 minutes of pain, finally reach my stop
>Get off and try to waddle my way to work without shitting myself
>Constantly have to stop because the stomach ache is unbearable
>After a while, I can't take it anymore.
>I'm gonna do it
>I release the brown paint all over the white canvas I call my underwear
>Realize what I've just done
>Shit

Cont. in Part 2

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>He ты oдин, мoй дpyг, yмpёшь бeccлaвнo
>Зa нac c тoбoй yж вcё пpeдpeшeнo.
>Taких кaк мы нe гopcткa и нe coтня,
>Hac чeлoвeчecтвo, Бoльшaя Cкoтoбoйня.

your gonna pay for that brown paint!

>be me
>Has google transalate

I have no Idea how could Goo translate this.

i don't get this new meme

>be me
>college
>date this one chick, but still haven't fucked her the year we were together
>feelsbadman.jpg
>break up
>year later meet up with her
>go to club, things are getting frisky
>get back to dorm
>start making my move
>take panties off
>it's a fucking amazon forest down there, canopy, howler monkies, whole nine yards
>fuck it, gonna get laid, close eyes and go down on her
>2 minutes in notices there's some hard particles I've been licking
>open eyes
>turns out she wiped her ass the wrong direction
>literally eating shit
>penis.exe has experienced critical failure
>mfw I can never go down on a girl ever again, even if she is shaven
>mfw I'm still traumatized

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>be me
>want gf
>get gf
>no free time now
>love her too much to leave or even say 'i need space lol'
>can't sleep without checking on her
>fuck why aren't I talking to her right now

what the fuck happened to me, this is insanity

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>be me
>sitting in home all day
>goes to Jow Forums
>creates a thread
>it consists of only random letters
>it goes to bump and img limit
>hehe

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how is it on bahamas?

that must suck man

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Pretty chill, economy going into the ground but that's only relevant if you live here full time.

>be me
>skip uni
>go to my favourite subreddit, r/banter
>contribute to thread of random letters

and do you?

It was...unpleasant...

as i expected

>Be some indian tribe leader
>"the whites are attacking our land"
>shit.com
>get all the villages babies and put them on catapolt
>whites are destracted with killing them
>babies.exe has stopped working
>take whites by suprise

Did this really happen? I'n not sure...

here's a good one:
>scrolling Jow Forums
>suddenly feel like I"m going to sneeze
>sneeze

Yeah. Shit's fucked for my generation, but on the bright side if you have even a bachelor's degree, you can find work easy. Now, what they'll pay you is a different story... Our dollar is supposed to be on par with the USD, yet minimum wage is only just barely more than half of the american minimum wage.

If you're an investor or a businessman thought, everything is gucci. And if you do a little...under the table stuff, it's pretty easy to get away with here too. As expected of an economy built on piracy, smuggling, and drug money.

Sounds pretty tough. Hope you are doing ok.
Also hmmm as far as i know here minimum wage is hmm equivalent to 3-4 dollars i think? So we are similar regarding this.

I'm doing alright. But I'd imagine in Poland the prices aren't as inflated

Yea it's ok especially around Warsaw.

>be me
>do thing
>feel bad
what do anons

What thing
whats the scale of bad 1-10