I can feel you here. Where are you? Show yourself

I can feel you here. Where are you? Show yourself.

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standard.net/lifestyle/medieval-combat-a-serious-sport-say-members-of-riverdale-s/article_ae58fd5e-f816-523d-bb7c-6c0dac331187.html
standard.net/news/local/medieval-combat-society-belegarth-practice/collection_48323594-983e-5017-8414-e6745c479328.html#1
youtube.com/watch?v=C5orU1ZingA
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hey

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Who?

Hey straya. Good to see you.
They know.

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Me

And you say that I have an ego?

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You do, nigger

>Good to see you.
nobody's said that in a while

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I have earned everything I flex about. You just have nothing pathetic boi.
Well it is good to see you fren. Everyone likes to feel appreciated sometimes. I like your nice posting ^_^

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I'm just here to check then quads. I know you're not looking for me.

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>I have earned everything I flex about

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Attention whore

What if I was? Pretty presumptuous of you. Not like I hate you.
It's TrueDoe. I work my ass off daily to make magic happen. I've turned nigger felons into super stars pulling down $24k/yr. If I want a blunt while walking down the street I'll get one. If I want money to get a drink I'll sell some weed to get one. If I want to flirt with a girl who's cute I will.
Nigga I earn everything by actually doing shit instead of whining.
Pathetic no future NEET. Cowboy just....can we not do this right now? Maybe I want to be frens baka.

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lately i've not been myself i find i'm slipping in my sobriety and just lately been treating absolutely everyone like my enemy

just really tired you know, not suicidally angry like i used to be but just unable to even maintain a single friendship online

i think i'm going mad honestly but the people that care really care and that's what matters the most to me honestly

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Last time we talked you bragged about participating in this mediaeval combat larp and you said that "I can wreck any non nationally professional kendo fighter at their own game with one hand behind their back". I've been thinking about this for a while. Mind explaining where on earth you got that idea from?

Copy cat niggers

*behind my back

I hold no resentment towards you either. It's all either been neutral or positive for half a year now. You know I meant you no spite, right? Things.. happen.

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If it is what you desire

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Anyways, goodnight Normie and r/banter.

Are you having social interaction regularly through your job or life?
Because it's true. Here take this.
standard.net/lifestyle/medieval-combat-a-serious-sport-say-members-of-riverdale-s/article_ae58fd5e-f816-523d-bb7c-6c0dac331187.html

standard.net/news/local/medieval-combat-society-belegarth-practice/collection_48323594-983e-5017-8414-e6745c479328.html#1

Back near my peak of my career the local news did a piece on my local chapter. Aquilonia. We are known throughout all of western bel as a small but elite group. All the best fighters come out of our chapter but go on to be Urukhai legends in other chapters.
Unlike kendo and other competition or recreational societies combat Belegarth/Dagorhir is all functional combat in as real of a scenario as it gets. This difference of form over function is what decimates kendo fighters. Their muscle memory is to respond a specific way to a certain blow thrown a certain way with certain body mechanics. In Bel you learn to watch the body to see what the shot possibility could be and learn blocks/parries that actually WORK to open shots.
Kendo is too dedicated to itself and competition to be used functionally on a real battlefield. HEMA is bad for the reason of recreation. Sure it's historically accurate but is it effective? 9/10 times it's not and the accepted standard form is the best.
With a decade as a medieval combatant that still regularly takes on HEMA and other recreation society retards in both armored and unarmored combat I can say with 100% certainty that I can wreck 80% of the opponents that would draw on me in medieval combat.
>Things.. happen.
Oh no. No they don't. People take action to make them happen. Some people are shitty and skulk around in the dark with a nice comfy blanket of lies.
I don't hate you. Doesn't mean I like you. Doesn't mean I'm going to be a shit ass to you either.
Maybe yall should think next time.

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youtube.com/watch?v=C5orU1ZingA
Are you trying to tell me that this flailing of the limbs will beat a kendo fighter?

lately someone who was a huge inspiration for me going to rehab died and since then i've just not been able to care about anything. they were the last person i talked to and probably one of the only friends in life i had left

i have made efforts to meet people irl and that's going better but the emptiness is still there. it is still better than my discord trannyism though which looks so silly in retrospect

life's hard dude i really mean it sometimes i'm just not qualified to deal with it anymore

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Sup fags

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>bruh all melee combat is super cool skirmishes with sick ass moves and shit
No. Real melee combat is a lot of madness.
Even the pros look like tards.
youtube.com/watch?v=xYxQR5haqTs
0:47-0:49 the dude in the second bout is a complete noob that I'm able to waste on the draw. Fight is over in less than 3 seconds because of the scorpion wrap that looks oh so sexy. Technical shot that IS NOT taught in Kendo but IS TAUGHT in SCA, EMP, Bel/Dag. and a very common shot thrown that if adjusted only a couple inches on the elbow release can dome a motherfucker and ring a helmet.
Third bout is with a vet I knew very well. We were polar opposites so our fights were rather boring but technical. I have to get into a pocket that's less that 4 inches of hit area to win that fight. A flat interior snap takes care of it after deflecting his shield and getting under it to open him up.
All practical translatable shots, body mechanics, shield work and stance for any combat sport.
The problem with things like Kendo is you learn to fight other Kendo fighters. There's no variety so you don't have as much creativity. Shit nigga I spent a year and a half learning how to disarm niggas properly with blunt weapons.
>still better than my discord trannyism though which looks so silly in retrospect
Why do it then?
I'm sorry to hear about your fren user. Life is definitely hard and just likes to kick you while you're down.

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Look an ultra gae :3

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Hello
Yuno is absolutely cute
Maybe I create a tulpa of her

>Why do it then?
i think i was just lonely and it was accessible, the truth was i hated it as a social outlet. people underestimate how unhealthy it is for most of your social interaction to be online. really you should be making phone calls, talking to people you used to know, just anything but luke warm meaningless back and forth shit with strangers. i started dreading even looking at the thing but its easy to get trapped in unhealthy relationships (for both you and the other people) and i'm convinced nobody's better off for it

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If you’re referring to me, I’m not particularly keen on returning to this shithole board. Every other board is better than this one.

You literally have the most atrocious footwork I've ever seen.
Have you ever fought someone who practices kendo?

It begins....
Lots of hindi there bro. Dirty poo in loo language.
ਪੰਜਾਬੀ ਬਿਲਕੁਲ ਸਪੱਸ਼ਟ ਰੂਪ ਵਿੱਚ loo ਭਾਸ਼ਾ ਵਿੱਚ ਹੈ
Hello
yes
No she mine
There's definitely something not right about using the internet solely for cyber sex and dirty tranny behavior. Seems like you were doing it wrong straya.
Why do you feel like you're so socially disconnected? Do people not like what you like?
All these ego bros.
>Have you ever fought someone who practices kendo?
Yes in fact the notion of Kendo being shit comes from a duel I had with Shinai at an anime convention with a state champ. SHE was exceptional in form and function. Definitely worth her salt in Kendo for their competitions. I was doing an expo for the chapter and a bunch of weebs with lol swerd skills would spend all day trying to get a hit on me.
She wanted a piece of the action but didn't like how lightweight our weapons were so she went to her car and grabbed her shinai. It was too long, too heavy and absolute shite weight distribution. I couldn't get a hit on her to save my life until I started using my cheap 2 stepper. Fake to the right shoulder with a sharp hilt rise then a flat snap to the inner thigh. You can't fight if you can't walk.
This was her ultimate downfall. She couldn't read proper feints, couldn't block anything below the waist and in general these are the problems of most kendo fighters.
>You literally have the most atrocious footwork I've ever seen.
Great that you have eyeballs for when I'm at a practice with frens. That's not even me going full retard. I've had a 30 minute bout with my homie in green that we called because we were both exhausted.
Have you ever done any medieval combat and if so have any proof? Do you even train with any melee weapons?

I am here now
but goodbye norimeee man

>Seems like you were doing it wrong straya.
is there even a right way to do it lmao
>Why do you feel like you're so socially disconnected
just have the right people die in your life and you stop caring about meeting new people. i've got my lifelong friends but they're all cynical shut ins too.

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Only gae here is you bb

Nah, not an ego bro; I think I’ve been sufficiently deflated.
I can always be deflated further.

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GIVE ME TINA
RREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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>she went to her car and grabbed her shinai. It was too long, too heavy
You found it too heavy because you're used to small foam swords.
>and absolute shite weight distribution.
In what way?
>Have you ever done any medieval combat and if so have any proof? Do you even train with any melee weapons?
I haven't but I used to sword fight with sticks as a child which would make me as qualified as you are.
I can point out quite a few things things you did so poorly if you want.

Bye namefag.
>is there even a right way to do it lmao
Yes. Be a real homo.
Have you tried just sticking with the frens you have?
I see. Yet posts were made and the void blinks. Don't give up on yourself. You're just fine. Things will be hard but you can make it. After all you made it all the way here relatively intact. Not much more they can take right?
No tina is mine. She's a pop punk goddess.

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I'll give you a non-homo snuggle for her.

So what is it that you want?

youtube.com/watch?v=GvaC6cIrntI&t=74s

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>Yes. Be a real homo.
i don't even want to explain it to the rents every person i meet is "female" and as far as anyone knows that's probably right too. why make life harder than it has to be by explaining to your dad that you're fucking a guy in the ass?

0/10 i'd rather die at this point than deal with that. nope every person i meet is a "woman" until someone catches me out.

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My biggest issue is that I’m stuck in limbo with no end in sight and I have absolutely no clue what to do with myself.
Not losing money, but not really making money either, especially since rent typically goes for $2000-$3000 per month with 3 months rent as deposit.

As a friend of mine put it, we’re all climbing mountains and mine is covered in a blizzard right now.

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>since rent typically goes for $2000-$3000 per month
this isn't gonna last long lol

>You found it too heavy because you're used to small foam swords.
Incorrect. It was an inappropriate length for my style of short weapon main. Even with live steel I won't use anything longer than about 22 inches. I can't articulate well enough with heavier weapons such as longswords so I have to fall back on defensive styles which are exhausting. Knowing your limits of what your body can handle is a big part of being an efficient combatant. You don't give a manlet a greatsword just because he thinks that longer means better and as a smaller framed fighter I can't handle longer heavier weapons. I have no shame.
>In what way?
The shinai was mostly tip heavy which means that the main articulation point is going to lead at the tip. This would be great if I was tip fighting to scrap but with a Kendo fighters defense I can't do that. They'll keep a center square guard to min deflect most shots. Again with my body mechanics I prefer hilt heavy weapons to tip as I can't articulate my preferred shots as well. Body. Mechanics.
>I haven't but I used to sword fight with sticks as a child which would make me as qualified as you are.
You have no room to speak with zero experience. You're just as bad as the weebs at cons who run up to me saying they saw Highlander 100000000000000 times so they're an expert swordsman or they spent the last year in HEMA so they're a master shieldman or oh oh oh the best is the true Naruto weaboos that do downstick thinking that their spin moves and telescoping shots won't be seen from a mile away.
There are things I've learned from years of battles daily. For years I worked on how to get around heater shields without having to resort to leg shots and refined a technique for a scorpion wrap that is both on hit effective (you don't take grazes or light hits towards death), scary as shit to have thrown at you and defensively sound even without a shield.
I'd wreck you off the draw.

Been ongoing since I got here, I’m certain it’s been ongoing even longer.
Most homeless up here point to the SF-tier cost of living as the reason for their homelessness, unless they’re just drifters.
If it weren’t for mother getting the job at the hotel and free housing, we’d still be homeless. However the manager prefers to keep her trapped on the graveyard shift which means neither of us get to have lives.

Oh and sales for houses go into the millions, easily.
But I digress.

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She'd put a cigarette out on you and tell you that you're a homo then do a sexy dance in my lap.
Oh you want to know?
Your love to start. Then maybe a nice home and a dog. Maybe a white picket fence for the meme.
That's an interesting way to look at it to say the least.
Do you think your life would be happier with more friends?
>My biggest issue is that I’m stuck in limbo with no end in sight
Looking down the barrel ey? Turn away or take the shot. You've got two eyes and plenty of brain matter. Don't forget that.
>I have absolutely no clue what to do with myself.
The best that you can. Take it slow day by day. You have to really be in the now with your feet firmly planted to make it through this no matter what you do. It won't be easy but nothing worth doing is. You'll find your way and come out a better person because of it.
>rent typically goes for $2000-$3000 per month with 3 months rent as deposit.
Don't forget all the insane checks they do before hand. If your rent is $2000/month then they usually want you to make either $4k or $6k or they'll reject you as an applicant. Then there's first and last, security deposit and whatever other background checks they want to tack on.
It's fucked up to say the least. One of the reasons I go through private renters.
Have you tried reducing space and moving locations? Sometimes you have to compromise for the now to get something later.
I think you're just feeling the pressure. That's good. You're getting harder. Hopefully you'll come out a diamond instead of breaking.
You should be glad you have good friends to talk to and people who show they care about you. They'll take you far.
Jealousy is not a good color on you boomer-senpai.

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>Do you think your life would be happier with more friends?
actually no i have no idea why i brought it up

>I'd wreck you off the draw.
You don't know what you're talking about mate. You have such a poor concept of distance and timing I bet an unarmed boxer could knock you to the ground. I don't know why I'm even trying to convince you of this after watching your godawful video

You can but only you accept the angels into your heart. And by giving kitchen the won named tina.

youtube.com/watch?v=Gpr_ISfWFsk

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>Jealousy
dumb accountant I literally spelled there what you should be doing

Heh, limbo means I have no choice but to take it slow as I play the waiting game and wait for something to break loose
Inb4 SHTF in the next few months
In that case, mountains are the best place to be. You can say a lot about these spics here but they’re not criminals. Apart from the drunks here, there’s practically no crime at all.
>Have you tried reducing space and moving locations?
....one place asked those prices for a 3 bed apt that was ~1000sqft.
We’ve looked in other cities but no luck at all.
>You should be glad you have good friends to talk to and people who show they care about you. They'll take you far.
Oh I’m definitely grateful for them since they were among the only reasons I kept going all of last year when everything seemed hopeless.
¥no jobs
¥no home
¥no income at all
¥living off grandparents’ Shell card
¥a barely functional car
I’d be tempted to say “cant get much worse than that” but I know full well it could.

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Sometimes when we lose people we try to replace them. You seem to be aware enough to look inward to calm your mind. It was smart of you to stop doing discord stuff and your enabling of connecting with real people instead of the internet.
Why are you so tormented really user?
Opinion discarded. Come to me when you've claimed any banner, title or favor with any combat society. If you were in the US I'd ring up your local chapter to meet you and record you getting your shit pushed in by some year 1 greenhorn. Literally love shitting on fuccbois like you with 0 experience outside of funsies with your bros with sticks.

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If I give up pop punk gf to Kitchen I get (you) and your love???????
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Dumb wannabe accountant internet money literally cannot be cashed out and isn't real.
Seriously though you're just jealous I have frens and you should just let us love you boomer.

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LITERALLY SHORT THAT SHIT RETARD
FUCKING TAKE A LOAN, AND SHORT INSURANCE COMPANIES HOW FUCKING HARD IS THAT

Along with the Angels taking your hear and making you pure.

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a lot of shit happened to me when i was a teenager

and at some point you stop trying to even feel better you know.

move on in life? why the fuck would i bother i've had my fill of it. at some point you realize you're just basically a wounded animal and the baggage you have makes you either unable to related to anyone or just uneasy to even be around. woe to anyone who actually dates my retarded ass they'd have to be a fucking saint. at some point you just don't want to inflict yourself on anyone else anymore.

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>Step, fake and wrap. Every. Time. Why? Because you'll flinch. Your body and mind aren't hardened to the motions of actual combat so you'll either freeze or you'll over block, extend or open yourself up.
I did Muay Thai and bjj when I was younger. What if I kicked you in the stomach because you came much closer than you needed and then fucked you up elsewhere because you keep swinging at inappropriate times?

Wow that was really boomer of you. You gonna tell me I should quit being in finance and go straight to consulting grandpa?
Get less rooms. You can confine a lot especially if you're living in a hotel. Look for a 2 bedroom or even a 1 bedroom. Someone can take the living room (2 can snuggle i guess).
Limbo is a hard place to be in. You're not alone. You're surrounded by a lot of people willing to help you. You've just gotta be open to it.
I assume you won't want to spend a lot of time here considering you don't like being here in the first place so I'll try to keep it brief.
Your life is hard right now there's no doubt about it. That's growing up and becoming an adult. You slowly start to realize that it's a slow march to the grave with only moments of happiness. We can take things for granted and resent things that make us happy. All you can do is keep moving and doing your best to make it a little further every day. Even if it's just looking up something or talking to someone you're still moving. Don't ever stop. Once you stop it's too hard to get going again. You're a tough lad that was dealt a bad hand with no support and to top it off you have toxic elements making it worse for you. Through it all though you've made it this far. You've dealt with everything with a "smile" even when your mother takes the last little bits. There's a light inside of you that makes you capable of getting through this and getting what you want. You have passion. Don't let it burn out. Chase your dreams, destroy your opposition and never stop moving.
Just for the record I wasn't summoning you. If I wanted to do that I know how to do it much more efficiently and what boards you frequent. You forget I have eyes everywhere not just here. This is just where I frequent.

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You sure you got it right? Cause right now you're in consulting.

>Get less rooms. You can confine a lot especially if you're living in a hotel. Look for a 2 bedroom or even a 1 bedroom. Someone can take the living room (2 can snuggle i guess).
One problem: nobody else is hiring my mother and the free room saves us a lot of money. Remember: we’re not losing money, but we’re not making a lot either; at least until her hours are increased back to proper 40hr weeks.
>Your life is hard right now there's no doubt about it.
No it’s not really hard. After all I’m not being forced to do sexually degrading things for strangers and getting pozzed just to get by (rather die than do that).
>wall of text (no offense intended, saving character space)
It’s good to know talking to people counts as not stopping otherwise I’d be buggered since all I have is this iShit for entertainment after work since mother has to sleep after dinner because of that accursed shift she can’t escape from. Which again means neither of us get to have lives.
>Just for the record I wasn't summoning you. If I wanted to do that I know how to do it much more efficiently and what boards you frequent. You forget I have eyes everywhere not just here. This is just where I frequent.
Add /wg/ to the list as well though I’d rather not taint that board with anything other than wallpapers.
¥fuck dat filesize limit here lmoa
Jow Forums is best board for me.

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>taking your hear
So my heart or my ears this time?
First they tore at my flesh until there was none to spare making me weak to their advances. Next they took my blood until I could bleed no more taking the very essence of my passion. Then they took my tongue so I couldn't speak wonderful things anymore. Lastly they took my eye so I couldn't see the beauty of the world left only with one to see what was.
Do you want the other one? My heart?
Then will I get what I desire most?
I know this pain user. Feeling disconnected from everyone like you're walking alone surrounded by an endless sea of people. It's not a nice life to say the least. I'm sorry you weren't shown more love in your life or the kind that you wanted. The world can be a cruel place and the ones who are supposed to show us the most tenderness can often hurt us in the worst ways. Your baggage and wounds don't define you neither do the scars they left behind. They are but a beautiful mosaic of lessons learned and your hardiness.
Why do you think someone who would get close to you would suffer so much?
Do you think you're incapable of love or don't deserve it?
>What if I kicked you in the stomach because
Abdominal dodge, step on the ball of the left foot, take the leg with a flat cut before it makes contact, plant right leg in defensive position shoulders length apart on approach, suck defense back to A frame, bend knees,punch block obvious straight high cross (because you're a nub and don't know anything better do you even know the difference between a high cross and a high flat snap and a blind high cross?),riposte fake the left inside wrap to anticipate the subsequent potential low X's, block obvious panic leg shot, quick step right, feet apart, under wrap the hilt and flat snap the back of the neck/head/anything else where you can't see.
Shield kicks are year 1 drills. You'd really have to do better.

Is that what the demons inside your head tell you?
Let the angels in to purify you. Only they can forgive you for your sin, unlike the demons in your mind who keep reminding you. Let the warmth of their light touch that cold heart. Feel at peace.

youtube.com/watch?v=cZaGYphtr7E&list=RD5BiPKlgkAHc&index=21

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>Abdominal dodge
First two words you utter show how clueless you are. You could've at least googled how to prevent a front kick.
step on the ball of the left foot
This is even worse.

>Why do you think someone who would get close to you would suffer so much?
here's the thing i make sure they do
i'm stone cold honestly i can't remember the last time i was totally comfortable with someone and wasn't making up excuses not to talk to them or otherwise agitating them on purpose to get them not to talk to me

actually my huge thing is getting drunk and telling them to fuck off i've done that at least 3 times lately. i got drunk for just that reason.

really i think if i was actually shown any kind of affection i'd be unable to deal with it and probably mope in my room for a day. that's just how it is i think i pathologically can't handle intimacy anymore

Nah. Right now I don't consult I more or less manage and sell. I sell the company to other companies to convince them to give former felons work that in the end they won't do.
Then the rest is moving money around which again isn't consulting.
Now telling people how they could improve their business now that's consulting. Literally what a consultant on the 7th floor told me when I asked how he became a consultant.
"I dunno bro I just did really good work at one place then told another guy I was working with through the company how he could improve his business like ours."
>the free room saves us a lot of money.
This is true but then living tax comes in. I could see how that would make it even harder to get out.
>at least until her hours are increased back to proper 40hr weeks
Then you're not in limbo really. You're waiting for something. You still have something to wait for instead of waiting to wait.
>It’s good to know talking to people counts as not stopping
That's an essential part to growing up. You get perspective from talking to other people. Things you couldn't see before like options and opportunity. Don't take people to talk to for granted. Sure you know you'll always have me even if this board went tits up and I had to make a shadowdiscord account or hijack one of my bois if it came to it but you need to have a network of support when you go through things like this. There's a reason I worry about you ya shit it's because you're dumb and need a helping hand. Without it you would truly be losing your mind from the social and physical isolation.
>neither of us get to have lives
In a way you do. You'll get out of the rut though. Slowly but you'll do it.
It is what angels have done to me. Making me believe their sick rituals can give me peace. I'd only ever wanted one thing and every time I los t a piece in a tribute for something I'd never receive. I'd never trust an angel unless they gave tribute like me.

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You are filled with hate and you are wondering inside the void. Your truth has blinded you, you drown yourself with pleasures but it's never enough. You want more but never get.
You can reject them all you want but they will be there for you.
youtube.com/watch?v=f0LdIZ8TWYo&list=RD5BiPKlgkAHc&index=35

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>Then you're not in limbo really. You're waiting for something. You still have something to wait for instead of waiting to wait.
Yeah and it’s months away, assuming this hotel even does well enough during the winter to warrant more hours for everyone. It’s an absolute shitshow. Easily a 1 star hotel in a 5 star hotel skin, and EVERYONE has a complaint there, especially the staff; it’s actually losing money because of all the shit. We’re just waiting for the owners to put their feet down, assuming they ever do before they kick the bucket. There’s always the slim hope that their other son will get rid of this manager and take over if that happens.
-1/10 i want off this ride.
>That's an essential part to growing up. You get perspective from talking to other people. Things you couldn't see before like options and opportunity.
Believe me, I know all about perspective, even when I don’t want to see it.
>Don't take people to talk to for granted.
I’ve seen friends just... disappear, though I had more to replace the lost ones; so I know all about that as well.
>Sure you know you'll always have me even if this board went tits up and I had to make a shadowdiscord account or hijack one of my bois if it came to it
I know, just as I know you’d bring the Mrs up here with you if SHTF.
Inb4 there’s a mountain militia that blocks off the Rockies to everyone else
>There's a reason I worry about you ya shit it's because you're dumb and need a helping hand. Without it you would truly be losing your mind from the social and physical isolation.
I know I’m dumb, and I know all too much about social isolation considering I spent pretty much my entire life regressed exclusively into my head, or vidya, or TV. Wasn’t until jobs/Jow Forums that I started coming out.
>In a way you do. You'll get out of the rut though. Slowly but you'll do it.
I know, I just hate the wait. I’ve never been a patient person. Understanding, yes; patient, no.

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Fuck bro I know this all too well. You feel so broken that you don't want anyone to get hurt so you try to get them to hate you. Man I can't say how shitty this is but really the only solution is to find people that can tell you to fuck off right back. Once you find someone that can hold their own against you then they become really nice having around. Like an animal who has become fond of their trainer. You're not a bad person user you just sound like a very angry person. I wouldn't be surprised if it comes from being immensely sad over your life leading to this point. Many regrets and missed opportunities. Things to keep you up at night.
Does talking help you at all user? I don't want to be annoying.
>You can reject them all you want but they will be there for you.
Eternally haunted and stalked by creatures that wish to tear me apart? Please tell me more about what I already know. The angels are sickening creatures that have done nothing but disappoint me. I traded my halo for horns and my wings for a tail with good reason. When I tried to let the angels in they took what they wished then disappeared.
I only wish for one thing and none have obliged. So I'm doomed to contract the lost to their hearts desires at only a cost to myself.
If you're so virtuous why not end the cycle of madness?
youtu.be/ctVgA2xHPyE

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i just wanted to get it off my chest because sometimes i don't even feel like i'm a real person anymore, but rather a bunch of pretty faulty approximations at what i think a human being is while the fundamental lense of my being is absolutely fractured

they can tell you that as a result of your life experience you sometimes default to your 'lizard brain', aka the fight or flight response that you consciously have to work your way around. but expecting anyone else to care that you're fucked in the head is honestly too much for just anyone to want to deal with. i don't blame anybody, i don't feel ditched, shit i just don't care that's what really bothers me. i don't actually give a fuck i just give my best guess at pretending to give a fuck but i know i don't.

maybe i'll meet someone really nice through this app i got, maybe it'll work, maybe i won't have to even post on this shithole anymore

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Fuck faggots
Fuck trannies
Fuck niggers
Fuck jannies
Fuck Normie
Fuck the discord mafia

based

>-1/10 i want off this ride.
The ride never ends you know this. What if after all this you have to live another life? Then another? Then another until you learn to think like god?
Pretty sikh way to look at life.
>even when I don’t want to see it
I know you do. I think that lately you might be seeing too much and need to disconnect from here. There's a sickness here that can and will consume you if you don't get away. One eye closed m8.
>I’ve seen friends just... disappear
It's always the ones you don't want to see go too huh?
>I know, just as I know you’d bring the Mrs up here with you if SHTF
>implying I need SHTF to go anywhere I please
>implying I don't already spend more time in [redacted] for work than I should for my mental health
I would. In any situation like that I'm getting a few people first. I need boys who can handle MG's and ARTY without their pussy baby ears giving out and I need someone who can grow food that won't bitch about it.
INB4 we just join the militia to get through
>and nothing of value was lost

>I know I’m dumb, and I know all too much about social isolation
Shut up. Only me and Mrs. can call you dumb. If anyone else does they can eat my boot. That includes (you) shit ass.
Is your job at least helping a little bit? Should be considering you're looking at the real world.
>Understanding, yes; patient, no.
Fuck if that ain't the truth. If you want to push things along you have to PUSH. I know you have it in you but you don't believe in yourself for some reason. You can make magic happen lad you just have to expend a little extra mana because you're not proficient.
I hope I've at least done....something for you with all this. You seem very upset about everything and you're tearing yourself apart for no productive reason. You're a mad cunt if you want to be m8.

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Very well if you wish to be alone and put up a wall, I will respect your wishes. In the darkness of times, I have my Angel giving me strength to move on. I have faith what they have planned for me.

youtube.com/watch?v=Q3C14m1Dono

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>if you wish to be alone and put up a wall, I will respect your wishes.
It's not what I wish. I wish I could cast off the wretched flesh that has been burned and charred from abuse to join the angels again and give love like I was meant to do but I fear that I can't go back. I sold my soul to try to get what I truly wanted but couldn't have. Now when I'm finally gone and have accepted what I chose my angel comes back to offer me redemption.
Am I just supposed to take it in hopes of getting what I want? How will I know my tribute is worth what I'll get?
Why do you post here then?

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>Why do you post here then?
too sick to do anything else atm pale lamb 8% stuff will absolutely ruin you for days afterwards

So a depressed lonely alco (druggie?) strayan thought at one point that homo shit online would help him? Please tell me you were just memeing when you posted this....

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>What if after all this you have to live another life? Then another? Then another until you learn to think like god?
I prefer this over the Heaven/Hell choices. Both are too eternal for just one lifetime. Desu I prefer constant reincarnation over Heaven. Heaven is too utopian for my liking. Too much good, not enough... reality.
>I know you do. I think that lately you might be seeing too much and need to disconnect from here.
I’ll be disconnecting again until summoned, I haven’t even looked at the catalog. Jow Forums is much more fun than Jow Forums.
>There's a sickness here that can and will consume you if you don't get away.
I know all too well after watching like a dozen posters get broken including longtime regulars.
>I need boys who can handle MG's and ARTY without their pussy baby ears giving out
tfw ears are already busted since birth
Although I think these hearing aids are unironically healing my ears, or at least just the eardrums. Not the cochlea though since implants kill any chance of natural hearing forever.
>Is your job at least helping a little bit? Should be considering you're looking at the real world.
Yeah it is, although the constant indoors work at this construction job site will drag on for months.
>Fuck if that ain't the truth. If you want to push things along you have to PUSH. I know you have it in you but you don't believe in yourself for some reason. You can make magic happen lad you just have to expend a little extra mana because you're not proficient.
Like I said, I’m dumb and too many screwups has an effect on you.
>I hope I've at least done....something for you with all this.
You’ve helped a bit.

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>strayan thought at one point that homo shit online would help him
nah i didn't think it would help i just ended up doing it anyway

should have sought actual relationships with all that free time obviously but i'm not exactly going out of my way to be here

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I see you've saved my image

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>Desu I prefer constant reincarnation over Heaven
I dunno what happens after death but if I have to keep living over and over and over again potentially I'm going to try to figure out the lesson I'm supposed to learn from my shitty existence.
INB4 you were supposed to learn to suffer
I’ll be disconnecting again until summoned
I think that would be best. This place kinda fucked you up.
>I know all too well after watching like a dozen posters get broken including longtime regulars.
Bant is a special evil. As you already know the other boards are better and much more inviting. I think this is where posters go to die.
>tfw ears are already busted since birth
Perfect for arty crew. Make things go boom from a distance and never have to worry about EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
>Yeah it is
Good. Expose yourself to more reality so you can see the brighter side of life. Open the curtains sometimes.
>Like I said, I’m dumb and too many screwups has an effect on you.
*slap*
What the fuck did I just tell you? It's okay to make mistakes and be dumb. That's how we learn what's wrong and how to be smart. If you didn't make those mistakes you wouldn't learn but they do weigh. You can spend many nights letting them tear you apart or you can learn from them. Look at them to find the lesson.
Mistakes are bad decisions you didn't learn from.
I wouldn't say you make mistakes more that you can sometimes make poor decisions. Just like you're not a bad person or a fuck up. You sometimes do bad things and sometimes fuck. Who the hell doesn't? Don't beat yourself up over it.
You're still very salvageable in more ways than one.

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I love you I hope you’re doing well asobi aussie

>i just ended up doing it anyway
How in the akchual fock do you pull this off m8? That's like walking dick first into a cheese grater thinking it was a hot babe and then saying you thought your dick was a scrub brush when you go to the hospital with a bloody dick.
Admit it you liked the attention and affection even if it was all fabricated.
>should have sought actual relationships with all that free time obviously
Nah not at all m8. People online are still people. They are just as real as you or I.
I just got it out of /a/ but I am much liking of it.
good jerb anern.

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I love you too

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>Am I just supposed to take it in hopes of getting what I want?
As you work hard for them, yes
>How will I know my tribute is worth what I'll get?
You do it cause you want to, you don't do it because you feel like you would get something in the end that was worth wild. Demons are there to give what you want but it comes at it cost. Angels on other hand can give what you want if you accept them into your heart.
Do thing out of the kindness of your heart, not for an reward. Don't boast how kind you are, just move on and keep on heading towards a bright future.

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Try out Jow Forums before this board breaks you as well. Decent gay population but that’s not why I go there. The bants can be hysterical. Too many generals (read: closed-off circlejerks) but not as bad as it used to be.
*SLAP*
NO U
Thanks for the talk, but I gotta hit the shower and then go to sleep
Inb4 2hot2sleep
Desu he smiles like he has an ulterior motive.

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That's Lucifer for you

>As you work hard for them
>Angels on other hand can give what you want if you accept them into your heart
I'm ready angel. I want my halo back. I want my wings back. I want to go back to giving instead of taking. I've become so lost by the demons I became blind to what I sought out to do in the first place.
Kitchen can have her! I just want to get out of the darkness!
>before this board breaks you as well
Not possible. I lived through the first pony infestation and chikun posting before was a board. I'll be fine.
>Thanks for the talk
Anytime. Tell Foxtrot Sierra I don't hate him or resent anything. I'm just all over the place and a complete mess. Tell him not to take anything personally. Fuck it you know what's what.
Sleep well.

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>Nah not at all m8. People online are still people. They are just as real as you or I.
nah they're really not
do you know who they really are?
do you know what they sound like?
do you know how they look outside of a photograph?

its meme shit, it was always meme shit. its a life support system for people who have given up completely. if i'm the only one who's honest enough to admit it then that's okay too.

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>do you know who they really are?
Yes. His name is J*** and he lives in [redacted].
His life is shit and he likes toenoe and foot stuff among other things.
>do you know what they sound like?
Yeet.
>do you know how they look outside of a photograph?
BIG YEET but they don't know that I know which is the best part.
>its meme shit, it was always meme shit.
Doesn't have to be. It's only as real as you make it. If you want to make it real then you can with a little work. If you want to dick about like it's a fantasy then of course it's going to be meme shit.
>its a life support system for people who have given up completely
I'm not gonna say this isn't true but insert le not all homos here.
Did you just have a bad time?
Did someone hurt you online too?

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i spent half the thread detailing why i was doing it nerd jesus christ

Different questions that are more case specific dork.
If you had a bad time doing homo stuff online that's one thing, if someone hurt you online that's another and if you liked any of it at any point you should try to learn from it.
The better question is what are you doing going forward?

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Find peace brother, on your journey. Better thy self, better thy family, better thy friends, neighbors, town, state, country, world. Let the light embrace you and give you the strength in the darkest of time. Let the angels battle those demons in your soul. Let the angels protect you and your family. When you feel alone and everyone is gone, just know the angels are always there for you. NOW FEEL THE LIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
youtube.com/watch?v=GhlPbE4pC0k

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no idea
if its an actual physical person i've met maybe it'll be harder to be awful to them or they could slap the shit out of me if i go too far

Will any of us feel it? Yes we will once we can face it. You're a good man but you need to find an RP group like now. Seriously man you have a play problem and I seem to exacerbate it.
It's fun for you right?
>or they could slap the shit out of me if i go too far
That's usually the type that people with your issues get with. You need someone hardened to your bullshit and life so they can handle you properly.
Honestly straya I'd throw my hat into that healing session but I'm not sure how you perceive me.

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last bf gave me a black eye so bad i couldn't leave bed in a day cuz i got drunk and talked smack lol we had to pretend i fell over in the bushes

w/e i do have an email, no discord though [email protected]

BOOOOO!!!

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Jesus fuck m8 that's both awful and fucking awesome. I wish a boy would sma.....we're not getting into this but all the same awful. He should've at least clapped you on the side of the head instead of giving you a black eye.
>last bf
lol homo that's what you get for doing gae stuff.
Seriously though why?

Yeah it's fun coming up with shit on the spot but I do have some truth when it comes to bettering people and helping to get out of a dark place, I could give them what they need to get out but they'll be in the same dark place weeks later. I tell them if they want change they must get up and have the strength to move forward no matter how scary it is.
>RP
Is it still a RP if I bought a 2 foot tall 50 lbs statue of Micheal that cause me $300?
.....

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he was in some car crash too he's gone

when i type out the sheer amount of fuckery that fate's dealt out to me it sounds like a larp but honestly you've got no idea what kind of lifetime its been

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Trust me I know. You're very much about healing and bettering people. You never were one to truly tear someone down just to do it if you could prevent it. You're a very stronk boi there qt. It's one of the many things I admire about you but maybe I just like to flatter.
>Is it still a RP if I bought a 2 foot tall 50 lbs statue of Micheal that cause me $300?
..........brosephbrostar what r u doing? You are delving dangerously close to LARP territory there Angel. You really need to get one of my shadowcords to join a tabletop session. We have a modern (paramilitary or criminal), medieval (gods magic and shit) and future (space shit) based sessions that are small going on right now.
I think you'd be a wonderful addition with your abilities already. You'd just need some system knowledge.
I'm glad to see my summoning is still effective especially for its intended summon. It was nice seeing you Angel. Next time we'll do something more sorted (read: romantic) without all all of this static.
I gotta go Angel. Sleep tight.
*kisses your cheek*

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