Tell me a funny joke

Tell me a funny joke.

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Canada, although its a sad one

there's a reason for all of this and you matter

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes have rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his mobile phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator, in a soothing voice, says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy’s voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?”

my cousin is german and she forces me to sniff + rub her snowy pale feet. They smell of sauerkraut and the smell infected my lungs twice already.

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Did you hear about the blind skydiver? It really scares the shit out of his dog.

what's the difference between a bird and a Somali?

a bird does something useful when it migrates

Did you the one about the reddit terrorist? After the detonation he said "wow this blew up".

Why did the [ethnic minority] [perform act]?
[Circumstances]

Your mum

Are you gay?
Does your mum know you're gay?

A pastor and a rabbi were traveling on a train. The pastor turns to the rabbi teasingly and says "Let's find out which of us is smarter. We will ask each other questions, and whoever does not know the answer will pay the other $1,000."
The rabbi replies: "Sorry, but I don't have that kind of money, I won't be able to pay you $1000"
"I'll cut you some slack," said the pastor, "if I don't know how to answer your question I'll pay you $1,000, if you don't know the answer to mine you'll only pay me one dollar."
"Well, I'll start then," the rabbi answered, "what has ten eyes, seven wings, and four tails?"
The pastor pondered over the question for almost an hour, but he couldn't think of any answer.
"Well what's the answer?" He barked in frustration.
"Give me the money first," said the rabbi.
The priest handed him the $1000 and asked again, "What's the answer?"
"I have no idea," laughed the rabbi, "here take a dollar."

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Are you a taxidermist cos you just stuffed my asshole full of goo

women

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Feminism

What do you call an opioid addict?
an oxy moron

>knock knock
who is there?
>let me out of this shower
are you still alive?
>……...

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...

you can tune a piano but you cant tuna fish

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Why did the chicken cross the road?
[spoiler]To get to the other side![/spoiler]

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How many Mexicans does it require to fix a light bulb?

Juan.

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came out with this zinger recently:
A extremist head of religious leaders building is being built but it has no fire escape plans, a non believer businessman funds fire escape stairs for the building which is gladly accepted by the owners of the building. The businessman, when asked why he did it answers:
I dont give a damn about those bigoted apes but i had to think of all the kids they are molesting up there !

Q: What did the math teacher do when he had a hemorrhoid?
A: He worked it out with a pencil.

...

romania