/brit/

reach for the rope

Saw my ex with a new man the other night. Was doing well forgetting her, but went out for a few beers and ran into them.

Shieeet.

*knocks you right out of the ring and into retirement with a single jab*

girl don't wank they schlick

need to do a coffee poo but i'm out of toilet paper aaaaaaaaaaaaaghh!!!!

Any of you lads have a gf? How do you feel about her "sorting herself out" so to speak when you're not about?

saw tottenham last night with my dad, don't even like football. was nice spending time with him though

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I see my ex most days because i made the mistake of gf'ing someone in my lectures haha

fuck off giffgaff i pay you to provide me with phone credit not "mission progress"
you're a phone network not a video game silly twats

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women

Yeah I know that feel lad, sorry to hear - you tried other girls to forget about her? Even if it's an e-slag it'll help forget her for the mean time

...

that's nice; it's good to spend time with your dad. I'm sure he enjoyed it as well

when my dad passes away I will end my own life

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should be put in cages

same
i love both salty and sweet things
if it was up to me i could polish off a six pack of walkers and a pack of custard creams a day as well as normal meals

gay cunt

dad and I don't get along

>giffgaff
>phone credit
i can smell the curry from here

totally fine
I sort myself out 3 times daily on top of shagging her, so I reckon I'm ahead anyway

it's to appeal to zoomers

*autistic screeching*

brexit is a bad idea and we should stop it

Used to be with giff gaff

I really rate their business model and no-fuss approach. Only reason I left was because their 4G speeds were utter shite and because monthly SIM-only contracts exist

was very nice, and don't do that lad :( remember the good times
freak
why not?

should be arrested

Me dad died when I was 15

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REMINDER that a "full english" breakfast from M&S cafe has NO BEANS!!!! 8 pounds you fucking cheeky nigger!!

fuck of, lord adonis you bald greek cunt

*does a daft walk into /brit/*
Brexit's Cancelled.

hey, yeah, it's Deano
what can I bring to the job?
well, at regular periods throughout the day I'll wander into other departments, find the nearest man of a similar age and start listing the names of ball-kicking men with them

Jesus Christ mate it must be the ghosts of your sperm you're slinging up her

brexit is a good idea and we should make it happen

cant live with em
do live without em

You a Jew mate? Fuck off

with iD myself because I get 10GB of data a month that rolls over for like £13

lol

how do you divide your pizza's
4 pieces or 8 pieces?
8 piecer myself

not always, sometimes I shag her in the morning
and on weekend I don't wank as I have her about

that's faggot talk

>expecting a shop for the middle class to know how to make good working class food

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no mate, my dad's catholic or some shit, he's just supported them all of his life because his friends did when he was younger

what would be the problem with that? You'd have to be some sort of puritanical boomer to try forbidding it

>N Word
Stop it before you make an even greater fool of yourself.

6 because i'm not a complete freak

is there any benefit to completing the missions? Still fuming at the NINETY PENCE compensation they gave me for my phone not working all fucking day a few weeks ago

hate this shite
fucking dope I work with will say ‘welcome to the family’ every time a new person joins the office. I’m not your family I’m not even your friend you cunt I’m only here for the paycheck

6

depends on the size of the pizza 2bh
those doctor oetker i'll do in 4 slices

depends how big it is really

how
you can't cut a circle into 6

>eating at M&S cafe

Alri gran

are you fucking thick

I had a gift card from christmas. The toast they gave me with it was rock hard and shattered like a weetabix.

pentagonally

are you a spastic?

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don't be so niggardly mate

loooool dense cunt

another wank is on the horizon. the Instaberg is a powerful temptation

how do you use 10GB of data? I have 3GB per month and use maybe a 1/6th of that

to be fair I am a VF though and don't have normie apps updating constantly or messaging apps because I have no friends

Is working from home common for you lads?

I work from home two days a week and it is so comfy

pity this lad, must have vaporised his brain completely with hard drugs

so, this is the power of the netherlands....

cut all the crusts off my pizzas and roll it up and eat it like a fajita
feed the crusts to the birds

huh
in my head it only goes 2 - 4 - 8

Can't imagine having enough disposable income that you can just hand young people £20 notes whenever they visit. That's 4 good meals you can just give away. Mental
Should've sent it back you absolute pansy

bang on
best pizza, 4 slices innit

youtube.com/watch?v=tb2Ct3yyB4g

it was a rare treat, I'm on minimum wage and usually go to a cheap greasy spoon. Genuinely feel sorry for old and middle class people if this level of service is regular for them

both you and your team got your bum fingered last night then

sexy birds or flying birds?

wish I could. two days a week sounds perfect. doesn't need more, doesn't need less.

i burn through 6gb a month on spotify on my commute in and out everyday

i commute on the train so always on my phone
i'm also fairly normie so I make use of normie apps
mostly I'll just watch youtube on my phone on the train

I roll my pizza and hold it like a baton, then I can eat it with one hand, and can walk around with it if I want, or even put it in a pocket for later #lifehacks

Just a bit of footy banter mate, you'll learn soon enough. Hope your dad dies of cancer you useless rodent xx

mate I'm about to open a whole new world to you
have a tub of coleslaw with your pizza and spoon it onto your crusts
don't use your hands, you filthy animal

>3gb
wow thats like 20 youtube videos!

yeah was a bit disappointing, but i saw a lot of korean qt's because of that korean player so all is well

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(Attractive) English p*ssies belong to Scottish BVLLS

your heads thick

Imagining myself casting pizza crusts upon the ground to have scantily-clad slags eat it up on all fours.
Ah yes. The dream.

>sent it back
I'm English, I just can't.

There's a flock of slags out my back garden, must've seen the frozen pizzas in my Tesco delivery

oh yeah my dad told me about footie banter towards brighton, "does your boyfriend know you're here" haha ledge

>He doesn't download the albums

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Desperately wish I could finger a korean trap's arse'ole

love coleslaw and pizza me
shame we almost NEVER have coleslaw in the house though
desu i love it that much i'd possibly do a poley and eat it with my hands

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EE £20 for 25GB, probably use about 7GB on average unless I need to tether for whatever reason, then I'll get through it all

snickered