/brit/

like this google photos automatic animation thing

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get livid when ugly fat women get more matches than me on tinder

MISSING!

rorke’s marbles

reward offered for safe return!

had a weird psychedelic trip where i was talking to an interdimensional species who said the internet was created by an alien life form to perfectly capture our society and allow them to monitor our trends without seeming intrusive

well I don't so fuck off

and another
think this was in Shamian in Guangzhou

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any more of soydog?

wow ribena looks like THIS now?

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Any other Londonderry man in?

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If I work full time in a call centre, have no reason to live anyway and have £21,000 in savings is there any reason why I shouldn't spend ~£2k on a new laptop???

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>2015: films polish flatmate shitting
>pisses in other flatmates ribena (hence nickname ribena)
>obsessed with other 'chad' flatmates, alternately hates them for being social and loves them for paying attention
(cant remember how much he was moving around at this point)
>suspended from uni for shitfilming (posted on r9k)
>trial pending
>hides suspension from family
>eventually comes clean but stays in aberdeen, refuses all calls/visits
>gets weirdly into femdom
>stalks the polish flatmate and her friends including phishing their emails/facebooks
>gets a job at mcdonalds
>fired for calling a coworker a hambeast on his blog (cant remember how they found it)
>comes home to rochdale, greater manchester; regresses to manchildry
>gets a job at an amusement park (back at aberdeen)
>moves back to his flat
>repeatedly pisses himself on the job because hes too scared to ask for a toilet break
>park coworkers find out about the blog (calls one of them a chav pig, more drama)
>trial finally happens, found guilty of stalking (really just posting her shit on r9k), fined _300
>fired again after repeated mishaps (misplacing keycards, naughty blog content, finding the gate locked and going home without calling in)
>by now hes pissing out of the window
>suddenly arrested again (for r9k posts)
>no internet access until his bail expires
>takes to posting on Jow Forums at the library
>moves back home for good
>starts self harming for attention
>becomes tranny for attention
>takes the name 'Moni' after Monica, the polish flatmate who started it all
>'gets into' godzilla (first of many interests he picks up to make himself more interesting, i.e. video games, heavy metal, football, TV shows)
>getting into bustups with his dad (who wants money and trifling favours)
>identifies as self-loathing paki, tries to become a rorke to fit in on Jow Forums
>DNP and HRT drugs start to slowly kill him
>seriously believes he's going back to university, but gets booted for good at a misconduct hearing

Remove potato.

>we are just hours away from a Corbyn government

feelsgoodman

He wishes

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what a sappy gay film Paddington is

despise Londoners

>immediately sets out to appeal the decision
>in the meantime, falls into a black hole of DNP, tranny drugs, hair removal and dieting
>still fighting with dad, calling him a paki bastard, fantasising about killing him
>while sitting on the appeal, gets formal notice of expulsion
>dad tells him to cut hair/nails, get a job
>finally realises he's the problem for throwing tantrums every time dad talks to him
>hearthstone hearthstone hearthstone
>GP refers him to psychiatrist to work out his issues (hahaha)
>appeal is finally sent off and rejected
>starts the 'jihad arc' where he refers to ominous plans to commit acts of terror in manchester in every post
>routinely threatens Jow Forums posters with stabbings, becomes an extreme anti-white internet hardman
>gets a temp job sorting post over christmas 2016
>arrested literally the day after, for posts that an impostor (supposedly) made in june (we're now in november 2016)
>charged under communications act for badgering uni and polish girls via email
>devices taken again, back to the library (immediately gets library banned from Jow Forums)
>gets a job at a warehouse, pussies out on the 2nd day and quits over the phone
>sister clocks on the tranny business and makes him come out
>skips another interview because he misheard directions and couldnt find it
>tranny regret sinks in
>comes out as atheist; sister not so supportive anymore
>refuses an accounting job offered through his dad
>gets a job at a call centre - this one finally sticks (for almost 2 years)
>long confusing tale of office intrigue begins, involving the Tall Guy, DnD Guy, Quirky Guy (his greatest ally), Polish Woman, and others
>no longer hates his dad - now hates his sisters
>'gets into' concerts (taylor swift, metallica, iron maiden), ps4 gaming (adds quirky guy to flex on him with trophies) and football (going to games with Jow Forums posters or alone)
>applies for new internal position at call centre, quits current one
>brief neet period
>rejected due to criminal record

is it true Jezza is going to hack off that vil old hag's head and hold it aloft in front of parliament?

thats blanc noir ye?

What does a $2k laptop do for you that something much cheaper couldn't do about as well?

because it doesn’t do much more than a £500 laptop

In Africa democracies are flawed they don't vote for the smart lad with good policies, they vote for the big massive niggers who will be a "strong man leader" like this big skulled nignog

Scout for a Pakistani grooming gang.

Fat kid —-> hunk is high testosterone

Skinny kid —-> twinky skellington is dire

Average kid —-> skinnyfat dadbod is low energy

do you know any girls that get touchy-feely when they're drunk?
my sister always tries to kiss me, very odd

Do angels like Emma Watson exist in real life if Britain? If yes, how do I seduce one? (I'm poor, have a small dick and only barely look average)

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No

>African Democracy

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me in the dire
sick of it, want fatties gone before they cause more damage

>months more of ps4 gaming
>"tries" to start a new diet every week, is still gorging himself on junk every day
>woman who's meant to have a 100% success rate finding work for convicts is only offering manual labour so he remains neet
>eventually bullshits way into new job at a warehouse
>makes new enemies from day 1
>worries that the ache from actually using his muscles is a serious medical issue
>struggles to keep up the pace lifting stuff as an atrophying tranny wreck
>quits by the end of the week after refusing to work inconvenient hours
>still neet
>started making youtube vlogs as encouraged by melvin (DROPPED)
>considering buying magic the gathering cards to flip for profit (DROPPED)
>goes to a /britfeel/ london meetup in december 2018 - creepily ranks the attendees in his blog by appearance/virginity/normieness, and eats coleslaw with his hands
>goes on a /britfeel/ radio show, is confronted by madman zeus, drops spaghetti when pressed on the coleslaw and runs away humiliated
>next meetup is in birmingham, early january 2019 - candid photos taken by madman yazim, revealing his horsey teeth/hair and bulbous nose, and he's bullied off of Jow Forums for the night
>contemplating giving up video games, but still telling his family to fuck off constantly and picking fights with women on the street
>vows not to post on Jow Forums again due to the bullying until he has his eyebrows, hair and job sorted
>posts the very next day like nothing happened, ignores it when brought up (thus DROPPED)

NONE of this is true you UTTER scumbag, stop defaming moni or i'll sue you for slander

She's American, so no.

>i want an attractive gf but I have nothing to offer in return

what do you think

he talked about feeling kids up in the ball pits in the amusement places the fucking nonce

damn son

gamine

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pits stink of weed, although I've never smoked weed in my life

yeah i keep forgetting to add that and him phishing the polish girl

Any
Celtic
e
L
T
I
C man in?

youtu.be/-Cz8nQAi2A4

Been chatting with a big tited columbian girl in my uni.
Found out she is in her early 30's but thats honestly made me more attracted to her. Need an older woman to sort my life out

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You're alright in my book moni mate

Jeff is, essentially, a black jew

It isn't easy being on the spectrum.

off to get a burger meal

Not

She's a homely cute English girl who even continued going to university while she was famous doing Harry Potter

Got 2 steak bakes and a bottle o' Dr. Pepper from Greggs lads

good lad

bet she's fat and dumpy like all over 30 south americans

Why are there funeral protection plan adverts on the UK channels how grim

How did you forget to mention the paedophilia phase he had at the amusement park?

who the fuck asks people if they're a virgin or not
what a bizarre behaviour

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youtu.be/-Cz8nQAi2A4

Explain this beautiful music.

>Need an older woman to sort my life out
genuinely sick in the head of you have thoughts like this
freudian freaks (ffs)

am putting it in there now
did he actually say the stuff about grabbing kids on playgrounds too, or is that just anonymous mischief

For me, it's Reylo.

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muh hurritage but prefer a man singing carrickfergus 2bh

Would love a mummy gf

everyone on Jow Forums is lacking and incredibly insecure
but they think nobody else feels the same so they have this air of superiority when talking to you
hence to pejoratives like incel, freak, virgin, etc.

>everyone on Jow Forums is lacking and incredibly insecure
cope

how's the bike jeff

god hes so fucking UGLY

having a stand

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>everyone on Jow Forums is lacking and incredibly insecure
nah
virgin freaks are
but most people who post on Jow Forums aren't virgin freaks

donning my mail shirt to fight the cold

did you know there's an episode of Friends that is virtually never aired on UK telly?

it's set when Joey and Chandler were still roommates and one day they get free cable porn on their television for some reason. Normally Channel 4 / E4 / Comedy Central just edit out any overtly sexual jokes but for that episode because so much of the content revolves around it they couldn't do it so they would just not air the episode

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She's alright. Ordered some yamalube for her from dubai but she's running on car oil until next week at least

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Wish Greggs did a curry bake that isn't some limited edition gimmick

pretty sure I've seen that one on telly before

Jow Forums is chockablock with all sorts of virgin freakazoids
4channel is the home of the proverbial chads

He didn't always used to post with a tripcode, he used to blog post on here user
The post itself is written completely Poleabooesque, whining about meaningless work drivel
And it's not like his noncery was unheard of before this, he had several references to perving on the 'cunny' on his blog

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Unironically 10/10

cope

business idea: put every 90s sitcom through lots of deep learning machines hooked up to lots of 3d animation server farms and have it make a new 90s sitcom

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There's loads of swearing that's edited out of UK friends eps

About to tuck into me second steak bake lads

How the fuck have you managed to save that much, I’ve been working full time on 16k for a year and have only managed to save 2k. I get a pay rise up to 19k soon though, I was doing an internship and they are keeping me on.

right yeah just wanted to confirm in case i end up testifying in court one day
can tell its him 100% of the time from the overuse of commas

Mad ting how much better male only groups are

youtu.be/OAIro_A1CYw

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Big black willies for tight white fannies

Sounds like a legitimately solid plan lad.

in that of itself

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>full time on 16k
FOLC

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Ever done the Riverdance, lad?

That will be the reality in 20 years. Writing will be replaced by a combination of coding and curating information for AIs to create a gestalt pastiche from data input of various genres.