The virgin strip of land VS the chad toreador that literally kills BVLLS in arenas, triggering vegans worldwide.
If you sleep sideways in Portugal, your head will be in Seville and your feet wet in the waters of the atlantic.
Planning his trip to Brazil, the portuguese called the travel company. "Good morning, could you please tell me how long is an airplane trip to Brazil?" - "Just a second sir" - "Wow, impressive!" - Then hangs the phone.
The portuguese spy enters a taxi. The taxi driver says - Evening sir, where are we going? - That's confidential, mister.
An englishman, a german and a portuguese were chatting in a bar. The english says - My wife is very stupid. She bought a bike and she doesn't even know how to ride it! The german then says - That's nothing, my wife built a pool at our backyard but she doesn't even know how to swim Laughing out loud, the portuguese then says - That's nothing guys! My wife bought a whole box of condoms, took an airplane to Brazil and she doesn't even have a DICK!
The portuguese goes to the doctor to take an injection. - Is this gonna hurt, doc? - Only for now, you won't feel a thing later on - Oh, in that case I'll be back at 6 then
Three friends, an englishman, a german and a portuguese were chatting. The englishman says - When I fuck my wife she screams so loudly that my mother in law can hear us from the other room The german says - Well when I fuck my wife, she screams so loud that my mother in law can hear from the house next to ours. The portuguese then says - Hah, that's nothing! My wife screams so loud, SO loud, that I can hear her from my office!
The portuguese businessman goes in a trip to China. At some local market, he finds a pair of advanced technological glasses that allows you to see everyone with no clothes on. He puts on the glasses and voila, he could see everyone around naked. Amazed, he decides to go back early to Portugal to show this marvel of technology to his wife. When he arrives home he puts on the glasses and opens the door, only to find his wife and a man fully naked. He takes the glasses out, put them on again, then off again, and they're still naked. "Fucking chinese products, it's broken already!"
Alberto goes to the airport's balcony - Morning, please I want two tickets, one to depart and another to come back. - Where to, sir? - Why here of course!
Admittedly this one doesn't work very well in portuguese.
Wyatt Torres
In english I mean.
Landon Rivera
But hurt ex slave rape baby
Jayden Phillips
>The portuguese spy enters a taxi. The taxi driver says >- Evening sir, where are we going? >- That's confidential, mister. i don't get this one but i love portuguese jokes too ours are more about how they are all very hairy, and they're maids caretakers a masons
"how does a portuguese maid clean the bottom of a table ?" "with her feet"
"why do portuguese men all wear the moustache ?" "to look like their mother"
"what is a portuguese woman doing in an university ?" "cleaning the floor"
"what is the biggest zoo in spain ?" "portugal"
"what is the difference between a portuguese woman and a sea lion ?" "one has moustaches, luscious hair and smells like fish, the other is a sea lion"
Jason Ramirez
Comment appelle-t-on un Portugais qui se masturbe ? - Manuel Comment appelle-t-on un Portugais qui se masturbe debout ? - Manuel SANCHEZ Comment appelle-t-on un Portugais qui se masturbe debout au bord de la plage ? - Manuel SANCHEZ DACOSTA Comment appelle-t-on un Portugais qui se masturbe debout au bord de la plage devant 200 autres portugais ? - MANUEL SANCHEZ DACOSTA DOS SANTOS
Cooper Barnes
kek
Sebastian Lopez
You also got blackies
Blake Cook
These are pretty good. I feel like our dry-ish humour either goes over Brazil's head, or they're just double bluffing. I could honestly see a couple of them happening for the bants and Brazilians falling for them.
These are alright, but low-hanging. Sanchez isn't even a Portuguese name. Sanches is.
Jeremiah Scott
We only make jokes about you cause we love you, Manuel.
Nathaniel Hernandez
bump
Julian Martinez
The "naïve and literal Portuguese" jokes are very odd from our perspective.
Shit like this or the first one here I can honestly totally see someone here doing completely straight-faced and deadpan, especially to take the piss out of whoever we're interactive with.
We're pretty sarcastic and cheesy at the same time, but I feel like Brazil doesn't get this, and just takes it at face value (or did at some point in history, I hear these jokes have become rarer and rarer).
I think that like the Brits and Americans, we Portuguese and Brazilians have developed way different senses of humour.
Jordan Lopez
And I mean that these examples I quoted feel like a "ah, gottem" from our POV, but the jokes, being Brazilian, are still funny on their own right.
Dominic Jenkins
I think you're overanalyzing this, we also get the "gottem" side of those since we also like silly comebacks like these.
t. I love puns and shitty stuff like this. I think most people do but it's like mandatoriy that everyone reacts with "ohhhhhhh that's sooooooo bad lmao" reactions
Jacob Davis
>I think you're overanalyzing this, we also get the "gottem" side of those since we also like silly comebacks like these. Maybe, but I'm not doing it just with the ones in these thread. It's an observation I've been having for a while.
"Quero um Bacalhau à Lagareiro. Como é que ele vem?" "Sou eu que o trago."
Our waiters are the absolute best/worst with shit like this, and they do exaggerate even more with Brazilians, from my experience.
Zachary Wood
>itt: shitskin muslim moors thinking they're iberians
