Country

>country
>how did you manage to get a gf
polan
I learned a dance from a yt music clip and it game me self confidence and a gf who liked my moves
although I know that without my cool dance I am nothing

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I go to work only a little drunk and people really like me now. The girl works in the same building but in another floor which is for another company.

Being drunk is always bonus points with girls, good job broski.

Forgot to post dog

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Before pursing a gf I want to focus on making actual friends
And before doing that I want to focus on having an actual personality
I play fucking Victoria 2 or tf2 all day because I don’t know what else to do
I have no taste in music because I didn’t listen to enough as a kid so I never developed one so I’m left listening to one of the few songs I like on repeat for the entire day until I get sick of it and switch to another song I like, slowly liking all of them less and less as time goes on
Ffs I don’t even watch tv or movies and i have no hobbies
I barely have a sense of humor any more, I rarely think of jokes, I can’t make myself laugh at all and when I try to force myself to make terrible “jokes” (which are often just me imagining random bouts of people yelling at each other) to myself I cringe, my primary source of humor is retarded Jow Forums posts which i can’t even make because I just sound angry when I try
I can’t even make fucking internet friends
1/2

2/2
I literally had better social skills when I was 12, and since then I have ruined my life, I had no friends through out all of high school, never got to experience things with girls, Hell, I barely even talked to people, if I wasn’t called on I would probably speak less than 100 words in the entire day
I can’t even admit this shit to myself, I don’t have these thoughts just on my own and when I do I suppress them as just intrusive thoughts that should be ignored
Only when I’m posting here am I true with myself
I just got home and turned on my computer, in an hour I will have forgotten the way I feel now and within the week I will dismiss this post as if I were just memeing
But I’m not
Im not suicidal but I can’t live like this any more
This is fucking hell and I have to escape but I don’t know where to even start
I can’t talk to people because I’m literally not a person, I don’t have a personality nor do I like or dislike enough things to be able to talk to people for more than 30 seconds. I actively drive away the few people who try to be my friend not because I don’t want to be friends, but because I literally am incapable of thinking how to continue the conversation. Countless times people have talked to me and I’ve tried desperately to come up with something, anything, literally screaming in my head to think of anything to say so that we don’t just sit there in awkward silence and yet I never come up with anything
It’s fucking torture
Who wants to talk about fucking tf2 or alternate histories all the time? Nobody. I don’t even want to but I don’t know how to enjoy things so I’m stuck doing the same shit I know over and over again
And how do I escape this? Do I need someone to literally babysit my social development, to make up for the complete isolation I suffered throughout high school? What normal person wants to do that?
Please for the love of god someone help me

>imagining random bouts of people yelling at each other

I never thought of this before user but it's actually really fun, thanks

You need to force yourself to meet people an get out even if you don't like it or feel shame.

How? Like I said, i can’t hold a conversation for more than 30 seconds because i don’t have any interests outside of tf2, history, and politics (not a Jow Forumstard). Only one of those things is something normal people talk about and it’s an awful way to meet people and/or make friends
I have to be an actual person before I can make friends, again it’s nit fear or shame holding me back, but the fact that I literally cannot think of how to continue a conversation, let alone initiate one.

come on