Guys what does it feel like? Please tell me I have to know...

Guys what does it feel like? Please tell me I have to know. I've tried everything from a hollowed out banana peel with ductape wrapped around it put into the microwave.

I've stolen the soap dispensers from work and taken them home cut it open and put it inside the plastic bag only to sting the tip of my penis.

I've tried the vaccum cleaner only to have it cut the side of my sack and began to bleed out.

I carved out a watermelon as well and after I stuck it in found out I had a skin allergic reaction to the watermelon which resulted in a very irritated skin rash. I've tried it all.

Please guys I really need to know what does sex feel like. I'm so depressed and riddled with social anxiety that I can't talk to women in real life and am still a Virgin at the age of 25. I really need to know guys. I'm scared to try a hooker because I've heard you can get aids with stds and end up paralysed.

Can someone here please tell me what sex feels like and is it worth it? I really need to know

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>goddammit there's no soap in here.
it's been you!

just buy a hooker and see for yourself

>biz always lies
Not that great - you need to microwave the melon for a solid 5 minutes and stick it immediately in to get the real feeling.

Go on amazon or somewhere online and buy a flesh light or some similar product.

Business and finance. Finance and business.

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10/10 cant be replicated
maybe uh? get your stacks up?

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unironically,.. this

jerking off to 4k porn is literally nicer. not even memeing. when you nut you come to your senses and go on with animes but when you nut in the bish, the bish is still there.

pool cleaner is better. the one with the fans

top kek

Feel the back of your mouth with your tongue. It has similar texture to a wet vagina.

Just fuck a hooker and stop obsessing over it, you’ll just get in your own way

Go full leaf and move to Canada and buy a sheep.

>Can someone here please tell me what sex feels like and is it worth it? I really need to know
ive had condomless sex a couple of times in my life. completely overrated. youre basicaly thrusting your penis against moist air, thats what it feels like. masturbation i have come to conclude is better. condom sex feels like nothing at all

Having to deal with them isn't worth it

They whine and complain and make drama out of random petty shit

LITERALLY, LITERALLY the insides of your cheeks.

Put your finger in your mouth user, put pressure on the inside of your cheecks. Same texture, same kind of pressure pushing back, same warmth. A pussy wall just as a little more texture to it, but super similar.

Then again sex is fucking awesome, and a good blowjob is even better.

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Got you covered.

Try a pool cleaner vacuum while underwater, especially with a heated pool, it will give you the best orgasm of your entire life. the fans rapidly but gently smack the head of your dick while giving really strong suction. obviously stick your fingers in first to make sure it's safe, not every pool vacuum is the same. I've had blowjobs from 3 different women and 4 different men, I've used vacuums, cock-pumps, fleshlights, vibrators... and NOTHING compares to the pool cleaner. I'm not even fucking kidding right now, if you get the chance, try it. the only thing that is even remotely close to how good that pool vacuum felt was straight up vaginal sex with this fat chick who had a really warm snatch, it was like sticking my dick into a wet loaf of banana bread straight out of the oven, and yes this fucking pool cleaner vacuum was better than that. I don't own a pool or else I'd be doing it every day. unfortunately the owner of the pool caught me doing it so I'm not allowed to be within 1000 feet of his house anymore but it was so fucking worth it, I'm telling you that fucking pool vacuum is like heaven. honestly the only reason I even want to make it with LINK is so I can afford my own house with a heated pool and of course a pool vacuum. I can't wait to buy a dozen different brands and styles of pool cleaners and fuck them all. I live for that day to come.
Advice over.

not sure if bait or micropenis
>moist air
fucking kek user

Come with me to Thailand this December for 2 weeks. We can both experience tight Asian pussy for the first time.
Strange way to think about it but accurate I guess lol

Lel

BRAAAAP

Proper blowjob feels way better, and I can't cum with blowjob only so mouth>pussy IMHO.

Pussy feels like you pass one ring which got most squeeze, then you enter very moist walls,texture very similiar to inside cheeks, but not exact. Also some walls have like stripes on them and there's a second ring further. Different pussies, different feel.

Foreplay is a must, long one. Then you enter when that pussy is dripping.

Just go to the hooker, like clean escort for first time. They will guide you for sure, and if she's a pro, you for sure won't be her first virgin.

Also imagine this. Your father got the pussy to make you. Lower your standards , rate yourself honestly from 1 to 10 and start on girls on YOUR RATE.

You will be amazed with results and start fuckin in no-time. You know why you didn't fuck already?

You are looking at girls out of your league. 10's dont fuck 3's bro.

The banana is fairly close, actually.

Protip: the duct tape isn't necessary and if you cut a banana in half you can get two uses out of it.

It's overrated. You'll find out someday that your hand was the best GF you ever had after all.

Like the inside of your cheeks. Suck your cheeks in between your teeth and rub your tongue around. That's it, spot on.

Pajeet pls go.

This is a meme. if sex is overrated to you youre doing it wrong

Inside of your cheek but tighter.

>I'm scared to try a hooker because I've heard you can get aids with stds and end up paralysed.

I fucking love Jow Forums holy shit. This is what keeps me alive

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she's like throwing a hot dog down a hallway huh user?

OP I just lost it at 29.

It doesn't feel good at all. Masturbating feels better and this was without a condom too. It's really a lot of work and you have to try to make another person happy on top of your own pleasure.

It's literally not worth the work and doesn't feel as good as masturbating. Especially if you are a three time a day death grip fapper like me sex is like the worst thing ever.

I dunno lad, go fuck a barnyard animal or a dog or something.

Holy fuck this thread... hahaha

The absolute state

youre just low test, user. its okay

sex with a dry bony pussy is worse than a hand
sex with a girls with a plump wet pussy is the shit, even with a rubber

You need to find a girl with a tight pussy. Like literally life changing experience. I thought I was gay because girls with loose vaginas didn't feel good to have sex with.

But then this one girl felt so fucking good. Like she's not even pretty, but she turns me on so much because she has a phat booty and a tight pussy. Literally changed my life

>AHHHHHHHHH he yells as he fucks his girlfriends pussy with the force of 1000 suns and then runs 10 miles naked and strangles his enemy to death

Literally this. Top kek

You have a problem with this investment community discussing investment ideas?

It was so loose I went flaccid with a condom and thankfully the chick was thirsty enough she just fucked me raw.
Beware the deathgrip. It's not a meme it's a real fucking problem.

>investment ideas?

...in suicide, on margin.

I'll invest in suicide when we have smart contracts up and running. Someone will invariably write an obituary chainlink adaptor.

Problem? Nah. Just laughing really fucking hard at kissless virgins ITT that are legitimately their own worst enemies. Carry on!

you norman newfags are absolutely reprehensible.

Try a pool cleaner vacuum while underwater, especially with a heated pool, it will give you the best orgasm of your entire life. the fans rapidly but gently smack the head of your dick while giving really strong suction. obviously stick your fingers in first to make sure it's safe, not every pool vacuum is the same. I've had blowjobs from 3 different women and 4 different men, I've used vacuums, cock-pumps, fleshlights, vibrators... and NOTHING compares to the pool cleaner. I'm not even fucking kidding right now, if you get the chance, try it. the only thing that is even remotely close to how good that pool vacuum felt was straight up vaginal sex with this fat chick who had a really warm snatch, it was like sticking my dick into a wet loaf of banana bread straight out of the oven, and yes this fucking pool cleaner vacuum was better than that. I don't own a pool or else I'd be doing it every day. unfortunately the owner of the pool caught me doing it so I'm not allowed to be within 1000 feet of his house anymore but it was so fucking worth it, I'm telling you that fucking pool vacuum is like heaven. honestly the only reason I even want to make it is so I can afford my own house with a heated pool and of course a pool vacuum. I can't wait to buy a dozen different brands and styles of pool cleaners and fuck them all. I live for that day to come.
Advice over.

get a hooker you fucking faggot
>muh stds
thats your faggot social anxiety talking if you wear a rubber you wont get anything and even if you do who cares you're going to be a virgin for life anyway so its not like you have to worry about giving it to anyone else

>what is a fleshlight

just castrate yourself, you are not to fit to breed

Sex is honestly the best feeling in the world OP

If you truly are a virgin, and this isn't just a meme post, then I've got advice for you-- if you fall for the condom meme, you waste your time and feel close to nothing.

Honestly man, being a virgin at any age older than 16 cucks you.

>new

No, I've probably been on this site for far, far too long, actually. This just isn't something I'd expect to see outside of /soc/ or /b/, desu.

Fucking a bitch who wants you and knows how to fuck is the best, otherwise you might as well get a fleshlight.

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>business and finance

Breasts feel like bags of sand.

it feels like a bag of sand
not really worth it desu

>Thailand
>Pussy
user..

did you know this is a copypasta thread you fucking inbred norman retard

Truth brother. Preach.

>youre basicaly thrusting your penis against moist air
bro....bro.

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You people are fucked. What have you done to yourselves? Uber-betas

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feels fucking great but if you're a virgin or don't fuck often it's overrated because it's all you think about. its not the greatest thing in the world

i can't believe a real human bean wrote this

>moist air

Kek. It took like a month to loosen up my wife before she could do it with no pain. And even after our first child, it's still takes a bit of working in. Doctor sewed her up good.

>Implying sex isn't the gateway to becoming a millionaire
You're not gonna make it.

>he doesn't do this unironically
low test brah

why is this so relatable?

fleshlight feels better
its not the feeling bro its just how hot it is being with an actual girl

Buying BCH is the only way to make it in life

BCH is literally the new paradigm in crypto

I’m going to spread this on twitter, facebook, youtube everything everywhere

Everywhere and everyone will be buying and using BCH

BCH will go over 9000! Everyone will be using it and transactions will be so fast and cheap.

Did you not hear that everyone is buying and using BCH now?

Omg like BCH is brilliant!

Lets buy BCH and HODL forever

You didn’t think BCH could be stopped did (((you)))?

Didn’t you hear?

We will have 10 trillion market cap within the next year!

Buying BCH is the best way to success!!

I’m writing a book on BCH

BCH long foreverrrrrr and everrrre!!!!!

Anyone save a screen cap of the robot who microwaved and then fucked a chicken.

Like warm apple pie

Sex is sex and if you do not love them then you are better off masterbaiting or fucking a flesh light. If you love the other person it is another part of the relationship. Sometimes it is good, sometimes it is bad; but there are moments of pure bliss that you cannot get from fapping and that closeness you can get before during and after is actually truly a something divine.

>the absolute state of late adopters

the only true answer is a bag of sand

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It's like sticking your dick in a hot, slippery and tight pouch designed to handle it attached between two steel rods (pubic bones). You push in as she moans and grips you but you can't go deeper. I truly understand why women despise weak and shy men with tiny dicks - their vagina can take a pounding because it's designed to and they crave being violated, penetrated and inseminated by a monstrous cock.

This. It's overrated. 90% mental. You can get better sensations from devices.

i've loved someone before. we tried to start a relationship but it was weird because we were both too emotionally involved already and too worried about killing what we had. never even took that step but the closeness that i felt sitting on a rock next to a fire kissing her made me understand forever. orgasms are orgasms. love is love. dont confuse the two. one is temporary and the other can make you the happiest, or the saddest, person in the world. i've screwed up every relationship since then because nothing can compare and to be honest real love never dies

Go get a woman. Just tell yourself "I'm the fucking man" until you believe it. Don't be afraid of rejection. You can get laid.

a) Buy a condom and get a high class escort
b) Order an onahole. Visit /jp/ for more info
c) Wait five more years and become a wizard then use your newfound magic powers to enslave the minds and hearts of women around the world

Those are your choices.

delet this
they aren't ready

Hi there!

You seem to have made a bit of a mistake in your post. Luckily, the users of Jow Forums are always willing to help you clear this problem right up! You appear to have used a tripcode when posting, but your identity has nothing at all to do with the conversation! Whoops! You should always remember to stop using your tripcode when the thread it was used for is gone, unless another one is started! Posting with a tripcode when it isn't necessary is poor form. You should always try to post anonymously, unless your identity is absolutely vital to the post that you're making!

Now, there's no need to thank me - I'm just doing my bit to help you get used to the anonymous image-board culture!

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like heaven on earth user, like you have become one with the devine

promptly kys

I hate fuckers like you.

to simulate how sex feels get stoned, insert butt-plug in ass and jump off a bridge in January into freezing water