/brit/

homealone took the wizardpill and is so masculine he doesnt even touch the female species. The man only knows testosterone

That’s evil desu. Not in a funny way either, that’s just mean

>”great” shitain

Americans have a innate desire to be evil.

Poor yuros

post shoes

would be if it came from a brit
fairly certain i know english better than the average yank

Haha you don't have fuck all, all you have is banter some guy smarter than you wrote before (which is shit banter to begin with)
Mikey I like you alright but you're really young and really fucking dumb.
Like you genuinely come across as having the IQ of the fucking potato that you are.

Goblino genes

a ponce was taking his picture

What? How young is Mikey

it's quite clearly not a selfie

He said he was born in 1999 lmao

gyppos age in dog years

Unironically find Americans struggle to understand my accent a lot while most Euros with good English understand it fine. Reckon it’s something to do with them coming across non-American accents comparatively rarely.

20 is a good age

You're on the dole out in canada. You genuinely can't be working with the amount of time you spend here. You wouldn't have 2 pence to feed yourself. I could buy and sell you any day of the week. I really do feel sorry for your old mother though. She has to put up with an autistic freak for a son that can't even get the money to feed himself and he's 25 years of age.

>I'm not old enough to remember September 11, 2001
get the fuck out right now

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Unironically have headbutted in every scrap I've ever been in pretty much. It's almost instinctual to do it
You don't even think about it just BONK

Have also been on the receiving end though and i can see why this might be the case that it feels so natural.. because it fucking works

Sit the fuck down you're embarrassing yourself, you're only 25 mate.

Did not know Malawi was a country until today.

The braying gyppo vs the fat schizo incel nonce

An epic match up

>tfw born in 1999 and first vivid memory is watching the planes crash into the towers on tv

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I’m Scottish, but weirdly the Malawians are also fine with my accent

In the last couple months the amount of time I spend here has decreased dramatically. This is entirely beside the point though.
> I could buy and sell you any day of the week.
The only thing you sell is your sister's rank fanny to your inbred gypoo cousins you litte shitmaggot
How much money you make, Mikey? You making big fucking money out there doing day labor for your toothless uncle?
Take a fucking walk you retarded 20 year old child.

>schizo hasn't responded to this

i guess he really is a fat virgin

Suck his dick though. A nice thing to be sucking. Riddled with stds becajse he can only shag prostitutes.

bullshit
I was born in 1994 and I can't remember 9/11 happening

>can't even get the money to feed himself
wouldn't know it for looking

put your name back on mikey

i want home alone, his posts always entertain me, especially his stories. Deffo the funniest guy on brit

logging on for the evening how are we all

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Young lad me was asleep when 9/11 happened

Timezones innit

Well that's a meme meanwhile you're a fucking massive virgin freak
what did you say the other day?
>do women produce breast milk all the time
oh my days you're such an autistic faggot i cant even

What the hell is a Scot doing in Malawi?

9/11 wasn't as big for you as it was for us. Dad worked in the south tower so I suppose the perceived severity of the situation is what left a memory more than anything else.

Was born in 1997 and vividly remember Mandela being released and the Berlin wall coming down

A solid headbutt might not necessarily knock someone out but it will definitely do more damage than a punch

The day after a fight the person you headbutted will probably wake up with part of his face completely swollen instead of just a black eye or bloody lip or something

A punch is a small target area but a headbutt will fuck your whole face and forehead up if it lands on you

gf said my bollocks are destined for destruction

exhausted with this charade called living

same
remember watching the news about it probably 1-2 weeks after the incident

Good mate how are you?

dont remember the 911 but my auntie lost a friend in it (due to her being a stockbroker at the time)

was born in 99 but i vividly remember franz ferdinand being shot

Researched, finished a couple of weeks ago and just waiting in Lilongwe for a couple of days before getting my flight home.

you mean Take Me Out and it wasn't shot, it was mostly animated

The eye gouge? big fan of this also

You're obsessed with sisters, aren't you. I reckon you got nonced when you were a child as most nonces are. I'd have you dossing for me for 20 pound a day, you worksman.
It's a not a meme though. You literally cannot get a woman to have sex with you. You have to pay prostitutes. You must be some autistic cunt in real life.

might smoke and drink tonight

Researching what exactly? The delicacy that is mudpie?

Anyone else remember the Ted Bundy killings? Was fucked for a while there but I was a bloke and also in Australia and also didn’t exist so it wasn’t a big deal

looooool

I really do and I have though.
You're a virgin, Mikey. You don't want to go down this road mate.
This is not the strong point in your game, Mikey.

look at that, the average yank is an idiot, they're bred that way

chin up get some drinks and frags (video game reference) in ya
hoped to shag the gf tonight but she's at a friend's birthday
got a burger on the way and will be drinking ouzo and playing apex so not too bad after all

started drinking to early yesterday and henceforth i fell asleep all day, how do alcoholics do it?

touching myself to these posts rn

Home alone was exposed. He won't come back

unitoilers of the world unite

For me, it's the 12 hour long audio book The Bundy Murders: A Comprehensive History on Amazon

It is kino

You're 20 faggot you don't have anyone working for you.
You're out there pushing brooms and going on errands for some some fatcunt foreman
Fucker works clean up on a construction site and thinks he's rich christ are pikeys this fucking poor

>huurr you didn't know about the existence of an african microstate? you must be retarded

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I remember back in secondary school there was a kid in my tutor who obviously had something wrong in his head, was like 90% mute in school
then one day the lads added him on MSN and he wouldn't shut the fuck up about planes on there
reckon there's a good few of those type here

Convinced my mate is bent because he listens to:
>ariana grande
>shitty indie songs like sundara karma, sam fender, sam smith, lewis capaldi

or is he just a retard?

did it turn out he wasnt a virgin in the end?

in what way? i was in the thread when it happened but i never bothered to read

reckon my first solid memories of an international event was the Iraq invasion. Also remember the whole controversy when that guy was kidnapped and Billy Connolly said “just kill the bastard” on stage.

>there was a kid in my tutor
Mute in the streets loud in the sheets inne

oi mate send us some girls addys

I know this is an unpopular opinion, especially here. but anti-yankism is cringe and stupid. There I said it

Very torn on where to Visit in Europe lads
France seems cool but so does Italy, Germany might be alright and it has Brothels.

You wouldn't be able to get a job making tea on a building site you manlet gimp

*adds everyone in my contact list into one massive group chat then leaves*

oi mate send me some girls bbm pins

Exuse me what is written below /brit/?
Im struggling to see it, but really curious what does it say.

Got nothing against yanks on an individual level. In real life they’re usually quite nice and enthusiastic

yankoid on tour

Women at work just asked if I wanted a Maccies breakfast, I said "no"

Woman then asked why everyone keeps saying no

I shrugged and said it was because I ate ate home

i'm not anti yank
i'm not anti dogs either, in fact i love them very much, but it doesn't mean i consider them my equal

>According to U.S. President George W. Bush and U.K. Prime Minister Tony Blair, the coalition aimed "to disarm Iraq of weapons of mass destruction, to end Saddam Hussein's support for terrorism, and to free the Iraqi people."
What a fucking joke. Can't believe boomers still try to justify this.

i'd go for italy
>cool museums about greek and roman stuff
>cool museums about are leonardo
>comfy cafes
>probably some comfy beach resort somewhere in the south
don't bother going to venice though

looool

Yes lad, grew up on the hard streets of maple ridge.

What wrong with Venice?

Could do a channel tour. Southern England, Northern France, Belgium, Netherlands.

*sip*
Don't care

remember stealing the star wars figures from nursery to add to my dad old star wars collection he had as a kid. Used to steal loads as a child

fascinating

fuck sake lads, I just offered to buy the new paki at my work some McDonald's without thinking about the whole halal thing
gonna get fired now

Reckon comparatively few people on Jow Forums aren’t at least familiar with the names of all the countries in the world excluding some of the weird polynesian ones. Malawi’s probably one of the better known irrelevant African countries.