HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO GET A DECENT JOB IF YOU DONT HAVE CONNECTIONS OR NETWORKING?!

Got a decent skill.
Not being retard.

Then get friends.

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Ask around at a synagogue

Temp setvice

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Pull yourself up by your bootstraps

But there aren't 100 jobs I'd be willing to do

>Looks for a job he wants to do
Not gonna make it

I came here to give this sound advice.

yeah, i'm 34, have no work history, was lucky enough to start buying bitcoin with my autismbucks though otherwise i would be FUCKED

imagine going to a job interview at my age and having no references, no work history, no nothing because i'm a NEET

thank fuck for bitcoin, saved my life

I want to move so I can marry some discord thot I met. Should I try and do fone interviews to land a job first and get them to pay relocation or is it easier to just move first and then start interviewing, negotiate for a big sign on bonus? I'm looking for 3 days a week, around 70k, and at least 5k sign on or relocation bonus. I see how both look good. Job first shows long term planning, but second one shows a lot of confidence, like I can just stroll up anywhere and get hired.
Currently I'm in MS, one of the lowest paying states, making just over 60k for 3 days/wk. Sucks ass but cost of living is low so that offsets things somewhat. I just want out though. I'd even consider California if it meant 110k. I need a change, shits depressing here.

You aren't.

You can always start your own ethnostate, hear it is popular in MS.

Dont drop out of high school.
Dont waste most of your teenage years playing games.
Stop browsing chinese imageboards.

>Spam your CV on LinkedIn (Xing if you're German).
>When you get rejected, respond back and ask why, you'd be surprised by the people who will give you honest feedback.
>Have patience, tremendous amount of it.
Oh and don't fall for the motivation letter meme, it is an absolute waste of time. The amount of time you will spend writing a motivation letter you could send 10 CV's instead. Also, do not fall for the "Application Platform" meme either. If it takes more than five minutes to apply then it is a waste of time and no one will read your CV. Another good tip is to apply to hiring managers and apply for senior positions even though you're not a senior yourself. You have to show that you have balls of steel and you don't give a shit about what they say in the job application.
t. I got my job through spamming my CV around.

>apply to hiring managers
I meant hiring agencies like Hays or Manpower. They don't always work but it is a good way to build a network of hiring consultants who will be eager to present you if you have the proper skills of course.

>he calls his love a thot
you're a faggot and i hope she cheats on your ass.

I can relate. I recently got on LinkedIn, filled out my profile as much as profile, included as many relevant keywords as possible, etc. I added a shitload of people, even though I barely know most of them. People who were in my school or university, people who I was at a workshop with, even if I never talked to them. It's all about working the search algorithms. Once you do this stuff it will be much easier for recruiters to find you, and for you to get in contact with them. I've heard of a few people having success thanks to LinkedIn. Too early for me to tell yet. Obviously, actually having real connections is better, but just do what you can.

Lie on resume and make a fake company and get a friend or family member to pretend to be a former boss

I dropped out of college, spent most of my teen years playing vidya and I still browse chinese imageboards. I'm not going to make it I guess.

All my best jobs in my life have been handed to me!
OP it is just the way it is. Personally i prefer workin for a small company. But I have gotten jobs a BIG companies cause we (family) knew someone high up. ppl help each other out @ small companies

You need 20 year experience to get a job, you need money to make money, you need a wife to get a gf. Welcome to the real world bud

learn how to network. Duh!

Good post. Any other reflections, insights, or general advice?

>Good post. Any other reflections, insights, or general advice?
Yes, in the job interview dress your best even it it is a startup meme. Speak like you're a consultant and you're there to solve their problems, do not, and i repeat do not under any circumstances show that you're desperate for the job. When you're asked about how much you want your salary to be, jew your way around it by saying:
>This all depends on the bonuses, benefits, and so on. But if we assume non, according to my research, the median pay for my job in this area is around XYZ but let us say I will get XYZ - 5000 and that will be alright. You have to keep something important in mind though. Money is not everything and it is important for me to enjoy my job because logically I will be here for 8 hours per day. Another thing is the growth opportunities, I am looking for something that will improve my skills because I fear stagnation.
Some managers will be legit stupified by such answers because they are used to sheepish twinks who shake in their boots during the interview. Another advice is to get through as many interviews as possible, see them as an opportunity to practice on how to deal with the smug HR faggots.
And most important of all, DO NOT LIE IN YOUR CV. DO NOT LIE ABOUT YOUR ACHIEVEMENTS.
Best of luck and Godspeed!

one last advice, do not underestimate the power of job fairs, even if they are outside your area. Go there, bring lots of copies of your CV, let the hiring managers there judge you and value you. I got some very amazing advice by just going to a single job fair in my area.

You guys are all stupid fake resumes and experience are how most jobs are filled these days. Most jobs are simple as fuck but HR have to justify their decision through some form of criteria

Is a CV the american equivalent of a Cover Letter?

You got a job by spamming just your cover letter, and not your resume and application?

This is actually legit advice.
While I learned it in my mid 20s, I would have killed to have known it when I was 18.

>"Which is better CV or resume?
>As stated, three major differences between CVs and resumes are the length, the purpose and the layout. A resume is a brief summary of your skills and experience over one or two pages, a CV is more detailed and can stretch well beyond two pages."
No real difference when it comes down to it

Nope, A CV is a 'resume' but in like latin so it sounds fancy!
CV = Curriculum vitae

>Speak like you're a consultant and you're there to solve their problems,
Yes, I've read this. "Demonstrate your (added) value"

>Another advice is to get through as many interviews as possible, see them as an opportunity to practice on how to deal with the smug HR faggots.
This is good advice for all people skills. It's like woodworking or playing guitar, practice makes perfect.

What the fuck, i didnt ask that

oh i see.

interesting take

firm handshake and remember to smile

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I had a dream I was in a job interview. And the guy interviewing was like the main guy at the company. And he asked something like, "What do you do when you can't do your best?" And I forget what I said but he said "Wrong answer"

And it pissed me the fuck off because it just reminded me of how awful the job search process is. You are basically whoring yourself out and embarrassing yourself, jumping through hoops to appease some smug faggot interviewers who probably won't hire you anyways.

Good news is HR don’t know the job so once you know how to talk to HR you can get any job

>DO NOT LIE IN YOUR CV. DO NOT LIE ABOUT YOUR ACHIEVEMENTS.
I know someone that got to VP lvl @ MASSIVE company, lied about going to Harvard. He got found out (& fired) b/c @ VP lvl there is a good few Harvard graduates, they noticed he was not clued up on Harvard, called the school, found out he never went there. A top 100, Forture 500 company BTW

>But if we assume non, according to my research, the median pay for my job in this area is around XYZ but let us say I will get XYZ - 5000 and that will be alright. You have to keep something important in mind though. Money is not everything and it is important for me to enjoy my job because logically I will be here for 8 hours per day. Another thing is the growth opportunities, I am looking for something that will improve my skills because I fear stagnation.
That is legitimately a good point.

you dont hehehe you neet faggot sperglord

This! My wife done this after 3 months of unsuccessful applications, she got 6 job offers in a week, no real experience and all the jobs were easy as fuck anyways

So he got a job he would never have had a chance for by lying and can use that experience on his resume. It’s all win for him

create one

Yeah, but then new employers are gonna call the company and they're gonna snitch about the shit you did

Its easy OP try not being a sperg and go do some normie things like drinking alcohol, taking lsd trips and smoking marijuana its how i got all my contacts. Literally everyone who a normie or any authority position has done drugs and fucked up shit you simply have to be relatable to them. You have been brainwashed by society to be a fucking boring nobody with no interest except internet money and videogames, now go.

to add to that, if you want your salary to be 50k, say 48k, if you want 45k, say 43k. This is because the human brain is programmed to feel that multiples of 5 and 10 are huge numbers while multiples of 2 are small numbers. It is an age old sales technique and works like charm.

I just got a job yesterday :3 we're all gonna make it.

By having a skill that others lack. But seriously, having a job is 50% showing up on time.

>discord thot

How I do I into this

If you didn't do networking in college you better have some decent personal projects under your belt, assuming software developer.

Anything GPGPU and C++14/17 impresses the new hipster startups, but if you just earned your degree you might want to go back for a masters if possible.

Don't lie on your CV, but please don't be honest.

Stretching the truth is sales 101, and you are selling yourself.

I, for example, work in an industry where they will legit never hire people without exp, even interns require exp. I got an internship in an unrelated role at a barely related company. I talked it out with my boss and got them to agree to change my title to something more sell-able.

This is easy it costs them zero and they will remember you later for networking.

But the important part is by claiming 1 year of exp for this job I started getting interviews for crazy positions that required 10+ years exp. I had so many offers that I found one that was actually entry-level and took that.

Always claim you have 1 year exp in whatever you're doing(school, internships, doing it as a hobby all count) . If they press you on what you did at your old job, just read their own job description back to them. Its exactly what the HR cucks are looking for.

And don't be scared of technical interviews, If your not qualified then you werent going to get the job anyway. But its better to fail out at that point then be honest and never even get a call back.

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This. Boomers always freak out when you tell them you're working at a job you hate.

>having a job is 50% showing up on time
And a firm handshake, and looking your boss in the eye?

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>tries networking
>call up my connections
>tell them im looking for work and want to send them my resume.
>most of them are totally oblivious to the fact that they ARE the connection.
>too selfish to help anyone out because they're boomers .
>receive shitty career advice instead
Im not gonna make it. Good job letting a bunch of spoiled babies control the entire world. Gonna go scream at my grandmother now because their generation enabled this shit.

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What field was she in? I've been applying for months. I got a few interviews but nobodys hiring me.

>>most of them are totally oblivious to the fact that they ARE the connection
There's your problem. You're literally expecting someone to drop what they're doing to do you a favor. You claim the boomers are selfish but it's at least a 2 way street user.

Read what the other guy said above: display value. Each one of those connections of yours think about the pressures of their job, their responsibilities, and things you could do that could improve their productivity or make their jobs easier. You know what's really great - that most people love to talk about work even when they hate their jobs and think it's boring - they will freely hand over to you the raw information from which you can develop a 'pitch' that displays value.
Will it get you a job with them?
Probably not.
Will it implant you in their mind when they get asked "do you know anyone who's good at X"
You bet your ass - especially if you stay in regular contact with them instead of this intermittent transparently transactional thing you've got going on.

it's like flirting, you don't straight up say: "hey I want to bend you over my futon and fuck you with a sock in your mouth so you don't wake up my roommate" you demonstrate why you're a really good thing for her and speak in sexually charged by innocuous subtexts.

Kek jew atheist here this shit works

>you don't straight up say: "hey I want to bend you over my futon and fuck you with a sock in your mouth so you don't wake up my roommate"
That works if you're attractive enough. Sorry you're ugly mate.

You have to force yourself to be in a situation that gets you a job. It's not simply being the right guy but putting yourself in a position that forces you to become the right guy.

You may have to start working out (even at home)
You may have to change your diet
You may have to get some sun more often
You may have to ban yourself from sites you know waste your time
You may have to move or solve a problem in your life that's holding you back.

Eliminate the small things that eat away at you so you have more time and energy to become the person who can network and land a good job.

Most importantly manage your finances and make sure you are on a path that leads to having more money than you spend.