First week of work

>first week of work
>instinctively type "Jow Forums.org/biz" into the browser after opening it
>"Access to this website has been blocked. Reason: Pornographic website. This incident has been logged. Your ID: ... IP Address: ..."
>got caught staring at the HR ladies high heels & feet because of how pretty they were
>accidentally called my female supervisor "mommy", I was handing her some documents that she needed and said "here you go mommy" and she laughed after that. I was really embarrassed. She's not even that old, just late 20s or early 30s.
Am I going to get fired..?

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If she laughed at that, sounds like she wants to fuck.

time to apply for autismbux

confirmed, ask her out for an after work dinner drinks brainstorming sessuon. after drinks she will take you home and sex you. have fun user

>tfw im literally shitposting from work and not even my boss gives a fuck

She probably thought you were joking you autismo

time to fuck your supervisor OP!

depends on the tone of the laugh

good luck user

Someone is about to get laid in the storage room

wew lad

I like this pasta

J-James?

The entire IT department probably browses Jow Forums on their down time. They don't care.

>be me, first day of real life employment
>hallway is crowded
>"s-sumimasen desuka" as i squeese past
>multiple times say "gomen, gomenne, warukatta ne" and other meme phrases
>"shouganai wa"

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user you gotta lean into the slide, act like its all on purpose and your a superchad, also you should tell them Jow Forums isnt a pornsite primarily, they probably wont unblock it but atleast they will know you werent looking at porn

> be American
> Talk to aussie friends from discord allot
> start to pick up some of their vocabulary
> working my waiter job
>a girl I was friendly with teases me by throwing something at me
>I reply by saying "oi cunt"
> we get back to work
> she reports me for sexual misconduct
>boss talks to me asking if I called her a cunt
> tells me he doesn't know if she'll charge me with sexual assault
> get fired
>mfw
It was just banter

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>banter
>american
Choose one.

HAHAHA

>thinking americans know what banter is

theres ya problemo moite

in britbong she would have called you a nigger

Never dip your pen in company ink

>be me
>21 yo old ict support on australian navy base
>supervisor is some old cunt born in Alice springs
>coworker is chinese cunt who speaks broken english but taught me the ins and outs of the job
>calls me a faggot
>boss calls me gay
>top banter
>can trigger boss by mentioning early retirement
>openly say fuck all day in office
>said fuck in front of some decently high ranking dude
>my supervisor bums cigs of me
>regular banter with coworkers

I miss that job everyone was old as fuck but I never had such a chill office. Once im done studying i might consider working for the navy again through some of the big it providers like fujitsu or something.

Get out of there oni chan! Hurry there's not much time left!

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>talking to women in an American workplace as anything less than a 9+ Chad (and even then...)

Yes because you are an autistic fuck. Go to therapy to learn how to act like a normie so they stop thinking you are weird

>not shitsureishima~su

>Am I going to get fired..?
Lmao. You sound autistic in an amusing way so they'll probably be happy to keep you around unless you're totally incompetent.

Shit happens boyo, you'll get used to it

That sounds really good user, I don't think I stand working in a strict environment.

>tfw you will never be that 30yo boomer who swears infront of people and gets away with it because of their cool and collected demeanor and work ethic

> implying I'm not

>work ethic
Was taking 1 hour naps everyday
Was taking about an hour worth of smoke breaks
Was shitposting for 2 hours
Was smoking for an hour

Most days we did jack shit and because it is the navy we get early leave on fridays but still get paid for the full 8