Post American Cringe stories

>Relaxing in a pokey tudor pub in Dorset
>Family of Americans walk in
>The dad approaches the grizzled bartender and clears his throat
>'one pint of your finest ale, mate!'

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test

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>be in Italy
>ameroboomer appear out of nowhere
>"Excuse me, are you German?"
>uhh, no. We're Finns.
>"Oh, you just sounded so funny." *proceeds to tell his whole life story*
Not the most uncomfortable encounter, but they sure love to talk about themselves.

Most of the time they can't read signs (which are also written in english) and ask for directions.

Most Americans never get the chance to talk to foreigners as we're isolated on our own continent (mexico and Canada don't count) so you can imagine that we get a little excited when we get the chance to meet somebody that isn't from here. You have the luxury of living in Europe where there's dozens of cultures and languages packed into a small area.
kek

>be in London
>be on the tube
>busy, but not crowded
>sitting on a seat near the door
>yankoid tank platoon (6+ family) steps on at Westminster
>their size filling up the entire door area on both sides
>each of them starts trying to talk to different passengers
>breaking one of London's unspoken autism rules of travel
By Allah, they should have been beheaded then and there

It depends on the American. A lot of Americans arent talkative unless drunk, what region they are from also makes a difference. Getting my girlfriend to talk can be a pain sometimes.

You know it's the same in the Northeast. They are probably from the south or a midwestern flyover. They arent used to large cities.

this, life is just different out in the country

Honestly have only had good experiences with Americans in real life.

>Be American
>Everywhere you go, everyone is fucking obese
>Your teachers are obese, your classmates are obese, your "role models" (firemen, police officers, public servants) are obese
>Your fucking president is obese
>Tfw America was formerly the world's most athletic country
>Tfw your country is going through a health crisis because everything is full of soy, phytoestrogens, and 25+ grams of sugar per serving
>Tfw you're so disgusted by fat people that going into public places makes you gag
I fucking hate this place so much

I've luckily never met americans except a step relative (ethnicly 100% swedish) and relatives of some friends

>They arent used to large cities
Are they dogs or what? Just behave correctly ffs

I've barely had any contact with american people. I met an old couple who was next to me in the bus when I was traveling around Italy and they asked me to tell them if "39ºC" was very hot or not. Aside from that they were very nice.

In the rural US people really enjoy small talk

Not really cringe but when I was on holiday in the states I met three (3) separate people who told me about their 23&Me DNA results

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Well, they're not that bad imo. I might have gotten lucky because the Americans I met were rich and really charming, as far as foreigners go.

I agree but you're exaggerating a bit
this makes me sad that you don't want to meet one of us

Same, I laugh about Americans here but the ones I've met irl are always very civilised
To be honest it's probably because I'm only meeting the 0.1% who travel to nice places

Tbqh i cringe when i have to visit a big city people are like sheeps.

hello flyover
we're inundated with foreigners here

fucking mutts.

every stereotype is pretty much true, americans are really ignorant, talk a lot, are fat, and unfashionable

just generally low IQ people and not fun to be around

I live in a city with a million people

Nice projection

>be me
>me and parents are on holiday in India
>arrive at Delhi airport
>go to train station to catch train to Dehradun
>American family with three kids come up to us, they seem alright
>"Is this train going to Dehradun?"
>we say yes
>4 hours later
>me and one of the kids have made friends with each other, playing a card game while everyone else is sleeping
>when suddenly
>one of the American kids runs out of the toilet screaming his head off
>literally wakes up the entire train with his demonic wails
>his mum asks him what's wrong
>"MOMMY THERE'S NO TOILET SEAT I ALMOST FELL INTO THE TOILET WAAAAAA"
>"I HAD TO WIPE WITH MY HANDS"
>hands are caked in shit, an unholy scent is spreading around the cabin
>all we can do is laugh

I want to meet you... when you're at the other end of my rifle

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>No toilet seat
did he use a urinal? I don't get it

Pottery

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dumb mutt

i'm the rare exception (unlike you)

6'2
180 pounds, muscular
handsome
history professor pulling in 105k/year
135 IQ
fashionista

I do not know why are you complaining about >talkative Americans
this is ultra comfy. Small talking is really a nice I wish we have something similar here in Poland.

Hahah... And after that they call indians poos

>no toilet seat
>no toilet paper

normal fag

You don't belong here, normie. This is a board for antisocial Chads.

nah dude it's annoying as fuck. people will say they're stopping by for a minute to sign something and end up talking about random shit for 30 minutes and won't fuck off even if you aren't interested in talking and not engaging them much

>100% ethnically swedish

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it's not even just that they're talkative it's that they're loud as well and they're also always making cringy comments that are extremely ignorant and making really overused jokes all the time then laughing at themselves, americans are complete plebians

losers
just make an excuse so you can leave

At least we still have firearms though god only knows how long that’ll last.
No it fucking isn’t.

Both his parents came from sweden to america

Squat toilets, no paper because usually they clean themselves with a lota (jug that you fill with water and then clean your ass with)

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India needs a cultural revolution

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>Be at restaurant in Vegas
>Waitress comes over
>Notice we're speaking foreign
>"Oh so what are you guys?"
>"Danish"
>"Oh wow! Do you guys know Doctor (Something)?"
>"Who?"
>"You know, the famous Doctor (Something)?"
>"Eeerh, no".
>"Are you sure? He's dutch you know"
>"Oh, right, but we're danish"
>She excuses herself and walks away
>Comes back 5 minutes later, clearly confused as shit
>"If danes aren't from Holland, then were are they from?"
>"Denmark"

Same fucking thing happened over and over when we were in the states. But apart from this murricans are pretty nice people just don't infringe upon their freedoms they will shoot you.

you can't blame a kid who's never seen one of those to know how to use it
Reminder that this site is filled with introverts so these statements are not representative of the average american

How do you not end up with shitty water all over your shoes, trousers, and hands?

You don't

This is pretty much true, people here think that the Dutch and the Danes are the same people

I'm not an introvert, some of us just have self awareness. Americans are fucking obnoxious dude, that's not an opinion.

Grass is always greener.
My point of view is kinda other than yours probably, but I'd love to go to the walk and meet an American friend and shitposting with him, feels really comfy.

>dude, you cant just talk loudly on the subways and trains of foreign countries

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T. Southerner

I mean I've never used a train toilet before because fuck that, but in the home you usually just hang your trousers up somewhere where they don't get wet, and as for hands, just wash them after. If you're in a building, you might have a hose plugged into the side of the wall as well, pic related.

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Danish sounds like swedish but with a potato in their moth. Same with dutch which sounds like german with a patato and some english in their throat

But user that's not cringe, that's BASED.

Squatting is the more natural, Chad way of shitting my bro. All across Asia, these toilets can be found.

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That's fucking hilarious.

There’s a difference between chilling with a friend and being an obnoxious moron in public.

Hum them being ridiculously ignorant and extremely talkative, nothing Cringe. I'd say waiters who come to ask you 7 times if your food is good and start talking random shit about their life or about the city you visit is annoying.

The cringiest Americans were online desu
>play csgo
>say something in French to another French person
>"is that fucking Spanish??? Go back in your fucking country fucking spic! Build the wall!!"

The best part is there's never a jug on the train, just a tap and a hole to shit in. What I did was bring a water bottle to fill with water then blasted my asshole clean with it. Bless that bottle, it saved my life.
t. had the shits on a train in india one time

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Still doesn't change the fact that his hands were covered in poo

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no shit. what else can they do

Kek reminds me of those stories of Navajo and other natives being shat on in public for "speaking spanish".

I don't understand what's wrong with this though
I met an American guy and he was quite friendly

Actually, the US states have a greater diversity in culture than European countries
Illinois and Indiana are more different than Austria and Germany, for example

haha what the actual fuck do eurofags believe this

turn of the proxy, fellow countryman

Damn straight. 'bout time you yuros get it

stop bullying hamburgericans ya simp

Mutts confuse us with Switzerland all the time. I don't get it.

One time I was on a train from Agra to Mumbai (21 hour journey) and I was already bursting to take a piss by the time we got on the train, but the sheer fucking stench of the train toilet made me not want to go, so I held it in for the rest of the journey. Painful.

t. burger on vacation.

I knew quite a few mutts who didn't believe Belgium was a real place

Wow you sound like a faggot

Of course
But I mostly talking about situation like
>hey, you have really nice t-shirt man, how is your day friend?
it could seem a bit provoking here, i guess in the US it's clearly normal and people will answer
>I'm fine thank you

I remember when I was in the UK and there cashier said to me
>Hi, how you doing
It was so fucking weird for me here behaviour like that is not found. Maybe happens but I never experienced something like that. Of course cashier does not give a fuck how do you feel, but this is just nice.

Another thing here we say to anyone Mr/Mrs x/y.
You literally say in the store
>Mr Cashier where is xyz

In the USA, I guess you talk to anyone
>you
Even when person is much older.

As far as I know you sometimes say
>Sir
>You know. Sir
But this is probably when person is a profesor or something.

Smalltalk is the most superficial and hollow method to build rapport. Both people caught in a small talk scenario are not interested in the other person and believe themselves to be superior to the other

Dr. Pol?

t. mutt with proxy
do u really think texas/florida and wisconsin/new york are more different than Italy/Serbia and Finland/UK ?

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The term you're looking for is asocial. Most normies ironically fit the antisocial definition better as most are sociopaths

We'll say that to be polite, but I rarely hear cashiers say it
Either way we don't actually care how you are

Texas v Wisconsin
Florida v New York
Italy v Finalnd
Serbia v UK
Is what I meant...

its not

Yes actually, with the types of food they speak, the sports they play, the religions, the work ethic, and the general way of life are quite different

you wasted dubs on bait you fucking swede

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That doesn’t really happen outside of certain places such as the South. If you’re in the North/Northeast for example it is pretty much the opposite.

I live in the Chicago suburbs and it happens all the time

>Le comfy
Opinion discarded

I call any stranger sir or ma'am.

There is more difference between Texas and Maine than there is between the UK and France.

Texas:
Religious (Catholic and Protestant)
Bilingual (Spanish and English)
TexMex cuisine
Lot's of old Western and Native architecture

Maine:
Irreligious
Monolingual, English only
Bland cuisine from colonial days
Very modern architecture

UK and France:
Both irreligious
Both only use one language on a daily basis
Both eat the same Euro trash food
Both live in either soulless modern buildings or antiquated houses from 500 years ago

Bull fucking shit.
t. just been to Chicago

Yeah, that's the guy. The Incredible Dr. Pol.

how are you supposed to answer? I've been asked that and I always freeze and say "good... how about you?" and it feels so forced and unnatural
We were taught about small talk in English class and we had to practice it. Still can't really do it

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cringe fanfiction thread

That's just Scandinavian autism, totally unrelated to the discussion at large

In lived here all my life and outside of the downtown area and niggerholes it's not uncommon

Swedish sounds like danish with a dick in your mouth lol.

>be me
>go on vacation to the UK
>before I go, read a list of "things not to do when visiting the UK"
>my favorite thing from this list to do is stand on the left while going up and down the escalators into the tube
>line starts forming behind me
>have a canadian patch on my backpack, but if I don't have it on me I turn around with a confused look and mutter something that sounds eastern european so people can't tell me to move in english and just accept their fate
>people start getting very, very visibly angry
>everybody is mad but nobody says or does anything

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It's an interesting show, don't know how she'd be confused at Dutch and Danish though

If i dont want to participate in small talk and someone asks how i am, i just say "im well" and dont bother saying anything else. I feel i am just doing old mate a favour