/brit/

What happened

such vitriol
who hurt you

If you think about it really, you're thinking about me, posting about me an to me you're nobody. I don't think about you at all. You're dancing to my tune, son.

Just got called a sillly cockalorum lickspittle snollygoster in Waitrose lads

Gordon Brown,t exture like sun!

remember doing some poem in school called half caste
it were bloody rubbish

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I got called halfcast in sainsburys

Don't care if your an incel
don't care if your a shagger.
Just make good posts and we'll get along just fine

yeah Darren you alright lad?

can i be arrested for telling you guys i've got aids and plan to infect someone from grindr

“UnpOpUlaRr OpInIonNn BuTt sitTtiNg iN beEr gARdeNs wItH YoUR mAtEs Is SoO NiCe”

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How can you not think about someone as you're literally replying to them you incorrigible cock goblin.

I'm literally listening to that wtf

Chris Morris?

I'd let them squiggle my wumpalumps if you can comprehend the sentiment I am attempting to convey here

Got called a spasticated gimp freak at the British Heart Foundation lads

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Got called a Ninnyhammer in GAME

Infect as many people as possible. Set up a GoFundMe and I'll chuck in enough for a few plane tickets. What else you need? I've got you covered

anyone seen Matt?

Brexit should happen

just been grabbed by 2 bouncers in waitrose and escorted off site for wearing tracksuit bottoms

Mums going through my laundry in front of me
Hope she doesnt mind the smell, theyre absolutely stinking

Andy give it a rest pal heard it all before

Sound like a post schizo would make which is funny really because I haven't seen him in a while

So this is trumps daughter. wew

they weren't wrong

Didn't get the random toenail check in Waitrose this time but they did double check my Mortgage payments at the entrance

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>games are over 100GB now

as a child of the 80s, let me just say...radical!

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Oi matt fancy coming out tonight

Want to slap her around with mi cock

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I use yesterdays clothes as my cum rag
most of the garments in my laundry basket are covered in cum.

You're starting to sound a little paranoid, friend.

How do you not stain your clothes

larper gimp

oi matty you in here mate
matty
MATTY
MATTY YOU FAT GAY PRICK
ah there he is y'alri mate?

I take my t-shirt off after wanking and mop up the cum with it and then wash my bellend in the sink

Might have a St georges day wank yknow get in the mood with some gregorian chants and candles then watch some medieval themed smut with chain mail and fannies and that then the wank will be like my slaying the dragon which in the capacity of this analogy wank will represent my carnal desires

my first computer had 9 gigs of hard drive space
really puts things into perspective.

Corr

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Since you know me so well what song was I just listening to.

youtube.com/watch?v=08L-OoKemNE

we are at the peak of human civilisation, they said

would love to clean her feet with my tongue after shes been on a night out

Don't fucking think so Gamer Gimp

I wash them

Wall needs painted. Looks very scruffy looking around the light switch.

Why did my parents make me think it was illegal to turn a light on inside a car while driving during my whole childhood

Good post

Because it's fucking distracting you little gimp

Alri

no dogs
no irish
no incels

oh yeah I'm sure you carefully spunk in a sterilised eggcup and dispose of the jism immediately in a hygenic manner, right?

>wanking
ummm, no thanks, no not for me

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my parents told me the same thing

I'm a getting a feeling... There's one here amongst us... He's called Danny! Danny could you make yourself known to us please mate

because it makes it hard to see outside of the car if there's a light on inside
you dumb virgin

>lying about wanking
Get real

drains the car battery because the light stays on when you leave the car.
dad left the lights on when we parked in long stay car park at the airport for a fortnight and we had to get rac

Bollocks feel like poached eggs

shagged more birds than you've had hot dinners kid

nicotine
caffeine
lucozade

the three amigos

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Watching anime girls playing minecraft again lads

Thoughts?

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wtf? it isn't illegal? mine told me that too

just made cake in a mug using the microwave. surprisingly good. like a gooey brownie

Your dad must not have a pair of jumping leads in the boot, no?

mekkin toast it's proper bo I tell thee

Just wanna kill myself lads

Guess we'll never get along

keith lemon is pretty funny

Lucozade is shit now.

those are dogshit

Message her saying can i keep it in then?

This but with shagging and not myself but some bird who isn't fat

dogshit shitdog

youtube.com/watch?v=vl3L8TxaTU0

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Why is one eye higher than the other.

thots?

tell her to get a guard for her teeth as she's a grinder

dougshit

>Passionate about dancing, travelling, learning languages

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So fucking aroused why is my body doing this to me

most people are like that

dont think so but wouldnt you need another car for that anyway. longstay parking is pretty quiet unless the person next to you got off the same flight

Maybe you've been drugged

*Shots at you from across the street*
OI user!! HEY!!