Be european

>be norwegian
>walk 20 meters
>end up in the sea

Sounds cold

>be russian
>drive in bike 20 years
>still in russia

>be australian
>drive bike for 20 minutes
>die of heat stroke

>be english
>drive in bike 20 minutes
>stoned to death by scots

>be Dutch
>head off into the wilderness
>get lost
>look up to the sign next to you to see where the nearest toilet is

>be swede
>drive in bike for 20 minutes
>don't get anywhere because snow
>take a walk instead
>get attacked by a worrying bear mother
>die

>be american
>drive a car because not pathetic europoor

>be mexican
>drive in bike 20 minutes
>get caught in drug war crossfire

>be Chilean
>get fucked in the ass

>be murrican
>go anywhere
>get shot

>a US tank
a bit disrespectful to talk about your countrymen like that

Two blocks away, there is a grocery store selling Asian food. Outside the store are several newspaper boxes. None of the newspapers are in English.

Honestly a place like Belgium or Massachusetts is the perfect size for a country, why would you want to live anywhere bigger?

>be Mongolian
>ride horse for 20 minutes
>????

I think that's only in Africa.

>be Canadian
>ride snowmobile for 20 seconds
>Can't leave yard because asshole snowplow driver blocked your driveway

>countrymen
If he was talking about his countrymen the estimation of time would be way higher.

kek

Go visit the giant Genghis Khan.

And that is how the Mongol empire began.

Best country coming through, love you Mongolia

I'd have to cross an ocean

>be indian
>travel to another state
Feels like a different country
>Different Foods
>Different Clothing
>Different Language
>Different culture

Each of the 29 states are so different and distinct that all of them Could their own countries

Attached: 1552016783365s.jpg (190x250, 4K)

>conquer asia

they all have something common tho

>be american
>there are no culture on the whole continent
>two mongrelized non-cultures are *ngl*sh
and sp*n*sh
>people live like animals in a mockery of civilization

>Inb4 street shitting

No we don't

Attached: 1555738920745.jpg (673x537, 51K)

kek

>be Bihari
>travel to another district
>feels like a different country

>be european

Attached: 1550102043190.png (330x319, 178K)

And still they shit in designated streets

R A R E
A
R
E

Based LARPing Colombiano

Based

>be Austrian
>try to bike somewhere
>can't get up the mountain because of too much snow
>slip and die

it would take me 4 hours by car to reach the nearest country aside from S. Marino

that's hot

Well honestly Italy is 20 minutes away

I’d have to cross your mom which means she will die tonight if you don’t respond to this

>be Croat
>ride in bike 20 minutes
>get to Slovenian border in 10mins
>wait on the border for atleast 1hour because slovenes are jews

>be American
>drive 12 hours
>oh look Mcdonald has a different menu

>be Argentinian
>ride bike for 20 minutes
>currency lost 10% of it's value

Attached: 1555896070214.jpg (640x800, 133K)

>be romanian
>drive in bike 20 minutes
>police is following me because not my bike
>get to bulgar border
>escape

Well my neighbours are in g7 Mr Dundee

>be ukrainian
>walk for 10 minutes
>get bombarded

>be spanish
>walk 5 steps
>trespass portuguese borders

Attached: Segura-Castelo-Branco-frontera-Hanway-blog-viajes.jpg (1095x733, 747K)

this is actual bullshit because there are tollbooths everywhere on European motorways

I can't even go to fucking Scotland without getting charged £5
In France you have to pay just to GET ON to the motorway

It's terrible.

I need more information on that one

Just walk through the forests n shit bro

>be amerishart
>barely speak a bastardized dialect of english
>be yuroCHAD
>fluent in AT LEAST 3 languages

>be romanian
>drive in bike 20 minutes
>someone steals my bike

Attached: 1547354004155-int.png (657x527, 38K)

cope

native+english doesn't count

20 hours at best for me, not counting the wait for crossing Messina's Strait.

>speaks for everyone
i only find tolls in france

>mfw i can literly bike 20 min east and not understand the dialect

>No we don't
>10% of your population shitting in the open is somewhat ok
Ok Pajeet

N E W
E
W

You ride it, not drive it.

You steal it not buy it

20 minutes by car is how long it takes me to reach Bavarian-occupied Carinthia. When I go there, I only speak extra loud Slovene.

Attached: 1498724364511.jpg (768x1024, 280K)

>be norwegian
>drive in bike 20 minutes
>crash my bike because roads are shit

>be swedish
>bike gets stolen

cope

>drive in bike for 20min
>pass the microstate of Croatia, Slovenia, and Austria

In 1,5 hours with a car I can reach Slovenia

the gypsies did it

>be Swiss trooper
>accidentally march into Liechtenstein

nytimes.com/2007/03/13/opinion/13iht-edstamm.4893796.html

>be Swiss
>drive in bike 20 minutes
>find new dialect I‘ve never heard of

Fortunately Belgians are fluent in Flemish and French

France is something like 7 hours away by car, Portugal is probably around the same though I'm not sure. I know it's 3h30 to Madrid, I don't know how much Madrid-Portugal is. Probably about the same.

>A completely different language and culture could exist just hours/minutes away, crazy...
Ah, yes, because the USA doesn't have any land border. and half of the US population doesn't live within 500 km of the Canadian border

>be me
>walk 3 minutes down the road
>suddenly in Norway

Attached: 76092785.jpg (1024x685, 209K)

>Be french
>Drive in bike 20 minutes
>Get hit by a truck of peace and land in a burning cathedral

Attached: 1556304019789.jpg (2500x2217, 217K)

Kek. I've found out a part of my Canton speaks a dialect that's a mix between Italian and German. I can't understand a thing of what they say lmao

>be macaco
>drive in bike 20 minutes
>remember I have no money
>remember I have no bike
>have to walk all the way back home
>as I'm walking back I hear babies crying and generic favelaspeak
fuck

>be brazilian
>use stronk legs to run 5 miles without sweating

>be swiss
>drive in bike 20 minutes
>shop in germany and get mwst

Attached: BAEB9796-17DB-4CBD-BF18-4ED752B42A4F.jpg (334x506, 42K)

>he lives in a cunt with less than 3 official national languagues, none of which are relevant languages like English or Spanish
I cannot think or comprehend of anything more cringe and brainlet-tier.

>he doesn't speak Serbian, Croatian, Bosnian, Montenegrin and Slovenian

I'd have to cross an ocean

Sad

>be Norwegian
>go grocery shopping in Sweden

Seriously?