Be american

Bwahahahaha what's wrong with you america

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...

>be american
>get shot
hahehahehahehahehahe *dabs* desu senpai
cope

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HOLY SHIT AMERICANS....

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why are americans so bad at posting?

Because of all the fat in their brains stops oxygen going in making them stupid and dumb L M A O !!!!!!

> Grow up

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Ironic...

>report submitted! this windows will close in 3 seconds...

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HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

OH NO NO NO BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA OH NO NO NO NOOOOO AHAHAHAHAHA

OH NO NO NO

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Pathetic

BRUH just kys you dumb fat nigger janny ass eater. Like ur just fucking fat, retarded niggers like man just end it haha fucking shitass country no not even a country ur just a giant walmart parking place with mutts walkin around and shit ur just fucking shitass bitch cuntnuggets and gunsuckers man lmao like there would be worldpeace if you just kkys man you shart so hard you caused the ozone hole like nigger fuck you faggot ass shitbag ameribimbos every time your fat asses jump in the water you cause a flood in japan haha every time i go to the beach I say "man just fuck this somewhere over there are these fat orcs larping as humans" and then I want to kms like people just go to war to distract themselves from your faggotass existence if you just got nuked there would be worldpeace lmao

>be american
>be born
>get dick mutilated
kek
KEK

>Israeli flag
Bit rich from a burger

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that's a bannable offence

Want to hear the reason why I’m cut? It’s pure retardation thanks to my mom catching my brother wanking it

oh wew it seems he is already banned

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>don't forget to tip the midwife!

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Lol u banned for racism

>he got banned

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

What did he post? Desuarchive is down for me

Still posting nerd

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>cucked by mom
Hot

The dumb cunt seppo reports the thread and gets banned. Absolutely rekt

he took a screenshot announcing a report

No I didn't

Mate, this getting sad.

>phoneposting

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>this many butthurt posts
OH NO NO NO
DON'T FORGET TO TIP US

Here’s the story, but the TLDR of it is: My mom caught my brother jerking off while 7 months pregnant and thought circumcision would make me never masturbate

what would Jow Forums actually miss out on or lose if america was range banned tomorrow?

We'd miss out on abhorrent posts

>and thought circumcision would make me never masturbate
Wew lad. Wew.
Poor bastard.

...

>be american
>avoids getting shot
>die of measle

>thought it were 4 different anons
>turns out it's one guy replying to everyone
OH NO NO NO

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Shut up stupid monkey I've fucked more girls in Lisbon then you make a year

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This

Lol the seppo is enraged

so that's where the aids statistics come from

No its probably the brazillian beggars leaving broken super bock bottles every

why are americans so cringey?

>be Russian
>don't be born because you get aborted

>be my older brother
>be 15 years older than me
>have retard evangelical mom
>have “progressive Christian” dad
>dad convinced mom to not circumcise my brother somehow
>be 15 years later
>mom is 7 months pregnant with me
>catching my brother masturbating
>she flips her shit because she was taught the moment you masturbate you immediately are destined for hell
>she reads somewhere that “circumcision reduces masturbation” thanks to Dr. Kellogg (yes, the cornflakes guy)
>wants to get my brother circumcised
>authorities immediately block her from doing so since he’s old enough to have a final say on that and he doesn’t want it
>i’m born a month later
>despite what dad tries to do to not get me circumcised, it all fails
>i’m now the only person circumcised in my family because my mom was a retard
>know by brother is uncut thanks to him telling me this story
>know my dad is too (he hasn’t told me the story though)

>every

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lmao

>he is so enraged that he can't finish his post

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I hate you all I'm going to kill one of my neighbors barn cats now I hope your all happy

Can we ban the obviously underage Amerimutt already?

I like how to dance of Americans in this thread lol

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>burger shaking so hard he can't even form a full sentence

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I wouldn't do that if I were the jannies, he could end shooting up a school

>be american
>get shot mid sentence

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wait, Portugal can afford phones? (you) must be related to the president or something

>be american
>get shot
>complain
>get sued

>be american
>forget to tip the school shooter
>get sued

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Ooof, that's gotta hurt

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>Be American
>Be so assblasted you cry to Uncle Sam
>Get shot

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>
>

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fucking delete this I didn't ask to be this way

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>>give tip
>server gives you a malfunctioning tablet to pay with credit card
>tip percentage option stuck at 18%

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No but seriously, why do americans physically assault their baby boys?
Barbaric as fuck desu

Are you sda?

Are you related to president or something?

THEY CANT

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holy fuck I'd riot. at least my dipshit parents are apologetic about it now.

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>>know by brother is uncut thanks to him telling me this story
>>know my dad is too (he hasn’t told me the story though)
What did he mean by this?

Because it’s a safe bet that my dad isn’t circumcised because a dude wouldn’t randomly Circumcise their own son unless they also are circumcised

actually good

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ITT:OBSESSED EUROS

Yes, my dad is part of the liberal sect while mom is in the conservative sect of the church
Dad doesn’t say much to me on the matter

Shut up, it's funny.

>be american
>be born
>tip with foreskin for succesful birth

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Yes, that's the joke, retard.

seething

Idiot

>explains obvious joke that literally everyone else got
>calls others seething
go back to cleaning toilets

>they actually give the tip of their dick

Ayyyyy. Same.

>tfw circumcised because I had phimosis

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That's the only legit reason.