Edition: peng ting
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got a smaller than average willy that needs rubbing by a girl
Not funny, this is a serious issue amongst my people
I’m massive I reckonize I could take any lad on /brit/ 2bqh
might have a znoose
Should probably change clothes I reckon
Ya mam says you couldn't finish your dinner let alone a lad on /brit/
any of you know any girls that might service my penis if i ask
imagine being some neolithic fisherman and running into a whale in your tiny leather boat.
Just consolidated all my islands into one easy to remember name.
The police xD
111 since I am in no immediate danger
Reckon a friend of mine has somehow become more immature with age, very tiresome
Try twitter.com/cuteosphere or dragondicks.tumblr.com la
based and responisblepilled
what the fuck doug
Irish people aren't white
Don’t think I would mention it to anyone tbqh
mate that's not 'slight'
Can’t imagine that happened too often lad, wouldn’t be going that far off shore in a leather boat
mum's being unnecessarily angry to customer service people on the phone
The local Italian restaurant, informing them that their Oregano delivery has reached the wrong address
reckon neither of those are females
Just go behind her and start grinding her with your erect cock and touching her muff
4 strength 4 stam leather boat
they drew pictures of whales so some must have seen them up close
so wacky .....
Sitting in the sun in the garden getting drunk when I start work in half an hour
Oh dear oh dear toilberg will not be pleased
That person is leftypol distilled
You're a functioning alcoholic
I've drawn pictures of your mum's phaj
Fucking our mothers is a proud Anglo tradition
Bela Lugosi...s Dead...
im looking for a girl to fondle my genitals
the more you know
Think I would be more scared of the mamoths tbf
What's the stupidest thing you've ever done then?
Got dared to huff some petrol and regret it immensely
business idea: calll really hairy cunts "mamuffs"
Off to Preston this weekend to visit some mates, the sun might actually make that shithole look nice for a change
Congratulations, you're an honorary Abo and have hereby relinquished your status as a white person
Alright de lad?
I’m aware of that
going to plow this welsh whore with my massive anglo cock
stupidest thing? when i first went on Jow Forums
became addicted to World of Warcraft
did a poo poo and didn't wipe properly
got dared to kiss the elephant's foot
She's some freak in her 40s who has a girlfriend with a penis. Known to sic her tranny gang on folk over stupid shit involving cartoon characters. Think it might have cumulated in a suicide attempt at one point.
baffled why they need to include their life story there
don't think anyone really cares, yeh?
Ran back to my ex after she cheated
Sucked a nigger
toilberg more like cringeberg
Being driven to work this week and have been tempted to out vodka in my water bottle
idea: /brit/ pools our money together and buys him as a slave
I used to do that in 6th form
*begins waving my wand*
Zippity ZUM Zippity ZEE
The post after ME
Will be DUBS, let's go SEE
wont your breath smell of booze
Just seen some pics of the gf when she was 16, feel like I got the raw end of this deal.
back to retirement
You only have to worry about that if you're a teacher
Broke up with my ex of 4 years because I felt like I was missing out on playing the field, now realise I’ll probably never get a girl like her again
close Number Wizard, very close
Wet and messy fetish, also known as sploshing, is a form of sexual fetishism whereby a person becomes aroused when copious amounts of a substance are applied to the naked skin, face, or to clothing
gf is 30 and sent me one last week of 'her when she was 17' to show me. spaff harder to it wanking than any sex i've ever had with her
Going to measure my willy lads. Taking bets.
You'll get there one day champ x
She definitely got the raw end of my deal
Clicked a link in an email
Fuck me you boring cunt I shouldn't have asked
Isolated myself as a teenager. Stunted my social development in a big way.
have never smoke mariwana
Mmm interesting. Been with my gf 3 years now and starting to feel like that
Do i need to wear any wellies?
Don't know what these ones stand for
Seriously doubt she's 6'10, maybe a typo and it's actually 6'1
very silly of you lad
Scarily similar situation.
adult baby minding
she does disabled clients so you're good
Not missing out
*happily dances about after doing a big poo and getting /brit/ to admire that bad boy*
Ah yes I did that too. Luckily I went to uni at 19 and sorted myself out before the damage was truly irreparable
The fuck is 'sploshing' lads?
mayhaps you can ask jeeves, sir?
doing a poo in a big way
Is Qwant broken?
they blocked images on Tesco mobile
Up to you lad, personally I got bored of playing the field after only six months and got a new gf, just isn’t the same though
new Chinese Girl
something doesn't add up
so fucking grim, dump her or something
one "ow", please
what if your third eye is actually your willy hole
is losing your virginity to a prostitute sad
They fucked up by putting 'biggest loser' compilations on youtube forever. Nobody minds a bit of badger baiting if its all forgotten in a week.
did you know our name comes from the celts who used to call themselves "Pretani" which translated means "The painted ones" because the celts used to paint themselves.
Mix that with the Roman's name for us "Brittania" and thus Britannia + Pretani merged to make Britain.
We're not Anglos.
We never were.
We're an island of Celts with some Norman invaders.
not only is it tremendously sad, it also doesn't count
you need to orgasm bareback inside a consenting woman to not be virgin
Paying for sex is incredibly sad
i lost mine to a shemale escort, no regrets
It's not sad, it's impossible. You can only lose your virginity when it's freely given, not bought.
did you know you're a boring prick and no-one gives a shit
the summer cut is NOT going well
don’t think I’m going to be in shape enough to walk around the festivals topless, only got 2 months until my first one
prostitutes do consent
what the fuck do you think prostitution is?
Holy shit lad you actually predicted it
just go to gay bars like matey
beneath the standards I expect from /brit/ posters
the Brexit Party are doing a rally in Merthyr Tydfil tonight
they already did one in Newport two weeks ago
Tempted to try this, they all seem to be in London though
Watched the Louis Theroux where he interviews the kid who raped his own mother today, was quite grim but Louis was very sensitive in the way he went about it
Fried some eggs and kaiserfleisch, had it on bread with some Kiri cream cheese. Will probably have half a box of digestives (the milk chocolate ones) afterwards.
what if youre a gay and only bottom?
taking your top off when not engaging in water sports or sex
that's a no no
wtf is he doing a documentary on now?
consent is a massive turn off tbqh
Yeah after being paid
You can't rape your own mother, lad. She's literally your property.
We're not Anglos
Please do me a favour and duckduckgo 'migration period'
Abergavenny is a funny name (to me)
"Mate reckon you could spare some change?"
"Sorry mate abergavenny."
taking your top off during sex
yeah alright Hitler
like netflix, dogs and sucking cock
Shut the fuck up Melvin you're an embarrassment
mums with postpartum depression
What about at gigs, awful sweaty in them moshpits
I like the attention feels good when people comment on how ripped you are, usually only guys say anything though
My willy is 5 and a half inches.
If measured from the pelvis, it is 6 inches.
any Corona extra man in
lol half Paki
dno, don't always if it's a quickie, but a bit goofy not being naked really... less primal
posting absolute bangers and getting wasted soon
wtf I'm not Melvin mate and if you were a true blue aussie /brit/poster you'd love melv, not at all pleased with your attitude mate can't fathom it, honestly mate seriously now
Schizophrenic paedophile freak with autism bullied out of /brit/ last year
any CHAD man in
this is the one de lad
the yank nonce, aka emmayank, is back
Ended up at uni too but none of the mates I made ended up lasting past uni. Developed by social skills a lot though and even went on my first dates. Experienced a lot of shit in uni that should have been experienced half a decade earlier.
Business idea: /Brit/ makes my music blow up via meme magik
True Poo, is it me and you
Is it Mum and Dad, is it a cockapoo
Is it standin' by your mate when he's takin a shit
Or just Vegemi-ite
True Poo, I'm a-asking you
Business idea: kill Zoey and Doug
What's his name?
Christ, the lad should have been put down after that
so much has been censored out that this pic is worthless
didn't respond for 11 minutes
she is talking to at least 3 other lads right now
Anyone seen the Louie documentary where he goes to the hospital for people on the verge of death, and the hospital is telling this family that their son who's severely brain damaged and in a coma to pull the plug and they say the whole time he'll be fine, and then he makes a complete recovery leaving the hospital redfaced?
Was pretty sad seeing the people in that ep with cancer and the like
bullied out of /brit/ last year
yeah you guys are too tough for me XP
Louis and the nazis best ep desu
just went feral
4 year old macbook pros are still around 1200 quid
Yeah the kid is incredibly regretful about it, he's in a mental hospital now.
The mum forgives him and visits him weekly but said she'll never let him be in a room alone with her again, was really sad.
We refused to use your shit thread and you and emmayank both started crying and left
Tismokiwi and I mog you
Dear oh dear, how did you get here?
I hate it when girls reply instantly, I have better things to be doing than being glued to my phone
Anyone seen the Louie documentary where he goes to an Australian mental institute and has a giggle with the nurses about the size of their patients' willies?
it's a relatively new one
there will be a real ferrari
"Are you Jewish Louis, Cuz I wanna know if i let you in my damn house and you're a damn jew
"I'd Rather not say if thats alright"
To be fair, he only fingered her.
z0ey is unironically the best /Brit/ personality.
Is feminism harmful?
That's on my list, I'll give it a watch soon cheers
got offered an INCREDIBLY good and wellpaying internship when I was 19
then i filled out the drugs form honestly and they withdrew their offer
women in general are dangerous, giving them even more power is suicidal
like winning the special olympics
why do you reply instantly then
Actually, lad, you'll find that that particular title belongs to myself.
Just because they reply instantly doesnt mean you have to. But if they dont, they're talking to other lads.
cant tell the difference between me and emmayank.
im going to make this really easy user pic related
Hmm will have to watch it don't think it's come out here yet la
Made me realise how HENCH r Louis is
josie on a mission
hey this cafe im in has blocked Jow Forums but not 4channel
nice one chinkmoot, i see why youve done this now
god damnit scotland is not supposed to be this warm.
it's all england's fault 2bh. if you didn't have so many cities and people you wouldn't make so much pollution. why couldn't you have had a clearances or a famine or something.
seriously how do you attempt genocide on irish and scots but let pakis where they like
new YouTube video has 65 views after only an hour of being published
Giving women voting rights was genuinely the worst mistake any civilisation could ever make. Look what they've turned western nations into.
Would rather the N word than a compliment
Dunno wot to do with em
Because I’m at toil and /brit/ is the best way to pass the time
link it lad
1.5mg of clonazepam straight up the shitter
10,000+ plus plays on my soundcloud
B-list celeb me
What did you end up thinking of that one (the doco)?
bought mine 4 years ago and it was just over a 1000 brand new
Lewie The Roo
more like N-list
It was good but it only made me believe in vigilante justice more.
I had a youtube video or two up once
best was at 20k views before I deleted my channel
not bad eh
might go outside
No, it's from a niche game and you lads will just trash its position in the algorithm with downvotes, mock me and eventually dox me leading to me murder-suicide spree.
why would you like a mac la
I got 62k on a youtube poop I made in Windows Movie Maker lmao
True men. False women. This is the darkness of the Age.
How many subs? Rocketing away I am
hope you have a good time la
Yep, that's going in my Avatar Or Signature Use compilation
have sex nerd
What kind of video? Most views I've had is 2-3k but im making stuff for a community of like 10k people max.
post yours and ill post my only semi-successful video in return
yeh it was yt poop-esque for a game (Oblivion) so ticks both those boxes
just rehashed npc dialogue
intelligent Leave voters?
/brit/ YT channel when?
I’ll do the music
be honest lads
did you vote leave or remain
meaningless question, everything is harmful
voted leave for the bants but post facto became a strong supporter for leave anyway hah. that was lucky
the kids here weren't old enough at the time, probably still aren't
Asked if his presence in the country could be seen as foreign interference, Mr Verhofstadt replied: “This is Europe. Europe. It’s all Europe.”
they are obvs targeting the welsh
they havnt done one around bristol weston bath area
kind of want a smoke but know better :/
Leave, been fun watching Westminster squirm
yeah I would do yeah
like signs and menus and that
Didn't vote at all, raining too much (not that I would have anyway)
I'm quite literally watching a cuckold porno for the opening plot
listening to an anti-feminist try redpill Destiny
Loving every laugh
Here’s the statistic that first convinced me to sign up as an ambassador for the charity. Are you able to calculate the impact of a 5 per cent wage increase for a worker earning £9 per hour? With or without a calculator, this is the sort of question that 17m adults — nearly 50 per cent of the working-age population of England — struggle to answer correctly. Put simply, one in two adults have the numeracy skills we would expect from 11-year-old primary schoolchildren.
£9.45 an hour
*scratches off shit flakes from my arsehole*
*sprinkles it on my spaghetti bolognese*
savour the flavour lads
oh yeh big time
I got Bs in both my maths GCSEs, haven’t done any maths since
Got banned from /v/ for making a thread discussion haemorrhoids - the scourge of gamers everywhere. Really disappointed but will serve my ban with my chin up, I stand behind every post I make.
Jokes on you I'm not going to eat it now
failed my maths gcse and got this easily, quite unconvinced most British are this retarded
The answer is £9.45. You might have solved it by working out that 10 per cent of £9 was 90 pence, halving this to get the answer. Or you could have divided 9 by 100, then multiplied this by 105 to get the same result.It doesn’t matter how you got there, or whether you used a calculator.
The important thing is that you had the self-belief to work it out. Although both men and women suffer a lack of confidence with numbers, the issue seems to affect women more. Why?
Recently refrained from breaking up because of being worried about this type of regret. Feelsgoodman.
what, you wanted him to keep the flakes on it?
"hurr why do i need to pas smaths when calculators exist?"
did they execute the guest on air?
really makes you think
doing mental maths is hardly a sign of intelligence
Are you fucking thick?
Good on you mate, champion
Ninja has vowed to turned off his facecam whilst eating, during ramadan
bit uppity over a harmless little aniligus joke
two slowjaks in conversation.jpg
Based history in the top 5
What an absolute ledge x
is this some Jewish holiday?
Men are smart
Women are wise
T. 40yr old FB dad
Kek this is me (who you're replying to) haha anyway so I wasn't racist at first right but then I went on Jow Forums and it made me a bit racist right but just as a joke you know jokey racist so I did a bit of the /pol/ and the fuck jews and that and it made me a bit weird frankly a bit unhinged and poisonous so I though eventually enough is enough of that lets find somewhere else so I goes on the boards and I see Jow Forums yeah looks fun yeah polandball and that yeah and being a British subject I find myself gravitating towards /brit/ this must be May 2014 right just as the EU elections are happening or June or whenever that was I suppose it would be May since it's also May now which means it's nearly my 5th anniversary of posting here wahey so I'm here right and I find out about this Europe business and Farage seems like a funny man and I don't like Europe anymore no don't like it so I become leave for jokes but then I become leave on a seriousness and start telling my mates Europe needs to piss off and then I tell them at toil and I get this empty headed girl on the right side or so I think but the day after she says she voted remain cos her brown FWB whom I should of accounted for convinced her contrary to my reasoning so anyway I voted Leave and I'd do it again but in the 2015 general election I ended up voting Labour and Lib Dem cos the lad what's been Tory MP since the 90s is a massive remoanoid not that it mattered a jot and in the 2017 election I tried to save UKIP but my vote mattered not so this time around I shall be voting for the Brexit Party as my allegiance is to the Queen and to Nigel Farage and nothing or nobody else and no thing nor body can change that except I suppose if one of them converted to Islam
Just turn off the stream rasheed
charity? It's statistics like this that blackpilled me
Can't tell if there's a bit of my skull loose beneath my scalp or if I've a brain tumour
not reading that
good impression of my gimmick but that post was far too long and boring
got banned for posting this once
why do girls love psychology
uhh i mean i just like want to understand myself better??
Real reason I cut my dreads is because I love Pork
Couldn’t stand the thought of my Rasta ancestors scolding me everytime I had a bacon sarnie
Sick of charity moaners battering my ears with shrill demands that I hand over my precious credit card details pronto, or else children in Yemen will die.
Shut your pretty little mouth boy
Wasn't talking to either of you. Keep your noses out of my private conversations.
Remember that Huey Long said lads, every man is a king.
They think it gives them an edge when they get into an argument
what did they do with the cutouts
Wont someone PLEASE think of the Yemenite Children
WE WUZ KANGZ
Love crackin' me neck, shoulders, wrists, etc
current state of my hair
Yeah that was me. No not that kid, the kid behind him. Those two chuckling idiots to my left and right? Tommy and Danny. Tommy was the kid at school who would be able to talk to any girl and get her number just like that. And Danny? Danny was the kid who’d burgle them when they weren’t looking. Guess it made sense then that we got expelled after it was found out that while Tommy was chatting up Mrs Jones Danny stole the marks to the Algebra quiz. And me? What did I do? well ... I planned it
Love crackin' me neck, me back, me pussy and me crack
( ( ( desuarchive.org
If it was a charity for funding Hamas rockets to be launched at *srael and splattering the jews into a smouldering oily mess then I might consider it.
*takes a big handful from each plate*
the jaded and deeply troubled woman that did this comfort-ate them
Jog on and blog on, mate.
Not losing your virginity if it's anal, virgin.
A male probably eat it, so typical.