(((Flexible Hours)))

(((FREE LIKE MY BABY BOOMING DAD)))

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(((Training opportunities)))
(((Q&A with the CEO. Make sure you bring questions!)))
(((Free coffee)))

(((go-live parties))) aka stay hours late at work for $10 in food

(((not slavery)))

biz is getting dark

No, they're getting truthful.

These two things together mean you will work 50 hours per week and get paid for 40 hours. 100% of the time.

(((Danger pay)))

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Everyone back the fuck up
(((((((Retirement)))))))

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(((diversity training)))

((( ((( ))) )))

(((See you at the synagogue)))

The company I work at did that for years before I started there. Some people had over 2 months of vacation saved up. The new (((owner))) basically made people take vacation because of complicated business reasons.

(((Inclusivity Awareness Seminar)))

(((Opportunities for Advancement)))

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((team building collective activities))

i'll NEET until i die before i go back to something like this. i'll do whatever it fucking takes, i'm not going back. years of my life were literally wasted. never again

I've never heard of this ((())). Please elaborate.

(((Great colleagues)))

(((5 paid holidays a year!)))
(((Inclusive Atmosphere)))
((((((401k)))matching)))
(((((((((((((((Education)))))))))))))))) Opportunities)))

it's a meme from /mu/ based on pic related. people just ran with it because it looks cool

I optimized that Fresco for you OP

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Echoes. Originally, Jewish names echoed like (((Steven Spielberg))) then it was extended to Jewish organizations like the (((Supreme Court))), (((Hollywood))) and the (((Federal Reserve))). Now, the meme applies to Jewish scams and lies like (((compound interest))) and (((cultural diversity))).

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triple_parentheses

kek

>(((Bagels for everyone in the office on Passover)))

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My last phone interview said this.

>they said it was 14.40 an hour
>I said I was expecting 15 an hour
>they said I could make up for it with overtime!

>d'at happy merchant

This shit is so fucking annoying
>oh one great thing about the company is flexible hours
>OK, get in at 10am and leave at 6pm
>everyone on the team birches about how lazy I am
>some fat guy who leaves at 4pm to pick his kid up from school gets zero shit because 'good father'
>oh and its great you can work from home
>ask manager to work from home once a week
>oh do you have something at home you need to do those days, like pick your kids up? Otherwise I'd prefer if you didn't, you have work to do

What the fuck

Just fake it. Say your "wife" is expecting and LARP as if you actually had kids. It will be years before they catch on because, lo and behold, nobody actually wants to see your stupid, loud, messy offspring.

>some fat guy who leaves at 4pm to pick his kid up from school gets zero shit because 'good father'
shit like this drives me crazy. I dont have a job like this anymore thank fucking god but I would see shit like this on a daily and I wanted to kill everybody there adkl;sfjlskdjf;alshkgsdh;gfjl;kjfas;odjfnm viwesr;g

Not a good idea. Our boss visited a coworker two days after his kid was born. HE DROVE RO HIS HOME WITHOUT TELLING HIM. This motherfucker.

(((unlimited vacation)))

>get grilled for taking vacation for the first time

weekend away with the team

father here

you will appreciate the slack once you get your own
at that point you literally can't care less about a job as it's all about those 'messy offspring', as someone put it

>it's all about those 'messy offspring', as someone put it

No, I said stupid, loud, messy offspring.

meh

I was like you once
swore to god i'd never marry or have kids. loved abortion and dead baby jokes

you'll grow out of it eventually

:sips_monster:

Fuck, I hate this so much. I do 1-2 hours of unpaid overtime every week and my boss still bitches if I show up at 9:05 am.

>Reddit spacing

nah, Discord habits from all the cryptography bullion I am mining

Holiday team buildings.

working with a bunch of senior code monkeys who constantly revise your good code to be worse than it was

Working on doomed projects for months at a time because there's "not enough funding" to do it in a way that will actually generate results.

(((Open office environment)))

had a death march like that recently

was so burned out by the end that just opening the IDE physically hurt

Pray for me user, I'm 1 month into a 6 month project where currently my only goal is to shut it down before it gets to a production release and kills somebody.

Everybody who has kids tells me never to get one. I read that as "we love the little shitters, but you shouldn't get them before you're 45"

kek

thoughts and prayers

well you can either have them in your prime and accept that life is gonna suck temporarily, or you can spend money and time doing IVF because your swimmers turned useless while you were traveling the world and progressing in a depressing career for a company that epitomizes everything this thread is meant to bemoan, then you can be a 60-year-old two-steps-from-the-grave greyhair by the time they're ready for college

that said, only the first year actually sucked, the kid is practically zero-maintenance between kindergarden, grandparents babysitting and letting him watch Disney movies when we're all drained of life at the end of the day

it's a kind of joy you can't even imagine without having experienced it. like buying sub-dollar antshares