/brit/

lads i cannot and i mean CANNOT wait for the footy phwoaaaar

What did you order lad?

Cracking open a tin lads

bezos's wife is actually cute in a way

but i think she divorced him because she looks like shes taller than he is. she was tired of being married to a manlet, even if he is a literal trillionaire

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where am I?
what year is it?
who's the president?!

oil based or what doug? haha what do you reckon to my joke there mate

Bezos clearly has small man syndrome, pretty much a textbook case

>she divorced him because she's taller

they got divorced because his personal trainer had him on test and HGH and being on the tech + working out on the regular makes you randy as fuck and he ended up falling for some basic tv presenter hoe

=sneed
=feed
=seed

:|

I am overweight, bald, wear glasses, and have a beard
I'm going to throw a 5 dollar capitalist beverage at a milquetoast neoliberal politician who in my mind is the next reincarnation of herman goreing
I'm going to get tons of approval on social media for doing it

FART

Doug is one of my favourite posters. He's just an ordinary bloke unlike most of the other namefags and tripfags who infest this general.

I want you (She's so heavy)

An ordinary bloke from Beijing maybe

Belter of a track lads
youtube.com/watch?v=3bT5bFzQInQ

Where have all the good nerd girls gone?

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corr

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All women should be arrested

he's a gayboi that tries too hard to fit in

they still exist

youtube.com/watch?v=qamBmWt8Cwo

wanted to have a big speed wank tonight but I can only do it when I have an empty gaff because I live in a pokey flat with paper thin walls with my mum in the next room

normally my mum stays at her boyfriend's house over the weekend and I am free to have my degen wanks but she's not this weekend (obviously because he's patched her for the CL) so now I can't have my drugwank for 12+ hours

and I'm working next weekend and then tied up the following weekend so in reality it's going to be 3 weeks of toil before I can have a speedwank. Nightmare for someone like me whose only joy comes from abusing substances and wanking

not addicted though haha

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m.youtube.com/watch?v=gsqN8FcjkPM

Lmao

Liverpool fans in Madrid today

youtube.com/watch?v=EIhFwLjsQug

my job is almost the best, comfy, laid-back office non-job i could realistically expect with my qualifications, except the team i work with is (for lack of a better term) "overly sociable" :

>they performatively act like one big happy team
>they have the same list of topics they go through almost daily
>they get noticably annoyed by long periods of silence and will "force" chat to happen to drown out the silence
>they're cosntantly trying to arrange group lunches and nights out

it drives me mad because i just want to go in do the work and mind my own business for the most part but they keep trying to get me involved in conversations, go to group lunches, go on nights out etc even though i've fully shown i have no interest. i do occasionally contribute but have absolutely nothing in common with any of them, im always happy to talk/help with work stuff but this doesn't seem to count and i'm considered the "quiet one" even though there's people in the team who are about as quiet as i am but they exclusively talk about non work stuff

from what i've gathered, other teams aren't like this and this isn't normal but is a forced sociable atmosphere unique to the team i'm in (for example another team in the same room had 1 group lunch last year for a colleague retiring, by comparison our team had like 6 or 7)

The office environment is one of the main reasons I don't work in an office

wasnt going to drink today but started having a beer and realized... why not get a little drunk for the champions league final haha

there is still time to get a bit drunk before the game and plenty of time to get hammered by the time its over

japanese

have you considered just saying no to group lunches and nights out

not even an atom

you lads are going OUT for the footy right?

I work part time in retail and it's very good and everyone's based and working class, love our manager too
the only downside is the customerbergs, but the manager sorts 'em out if they start being uppity

She looks like she ____ _____ ____.

No, in fact I won't even be watching the footy

sucks golf balls

You're just very socially inept. Willing to bet any money its the annoying women in the office trying to get you out to be inclusive for the disabled and shy cause they feel sorry for you. And I bet most of the lads talk shit about you when they're out

youtube.com/watch?v=OIRtfIrNOZU

*GASP*
are you even British..?

saw a qt on the tube earlier who was sat across from me and kept looking at me.
what is the play in this situation? should I have tried to talk to her?

Yeah
I just don't watch football

why is it so dead

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I miss Aisha desu lads

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imagine innovation in TV technology actually stems largely from angry yanks shooting their TVs when they didn't like what they were watching and kept having to buy new ones leading to them becoming more and more streamlined and hi-def as time went on

>love our manager
cringe

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good lads

going to ask a question that makes me look silly in a minute or so, keep your eyes peeled for it x

Not disappointed by your post, faith in brits restored I'm going to listen god save the queen now

for me it was when I got Jow Forums from toiling all day and for the first time ever I got eyed up by a girl who wasn't a smackhead

because its a warm day outside, are you a spastic mate

aisha's fine, its sarah we should be sorry for, shes put on weight and has aged like 10 years

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my dick is 1/8th hard for her

found an antifa sticker at my bus stop the other day, wasn’t sure what to think of it and didn’t want to cause a scene by tearing it up and peeing on it
wasn’t there yesterday and there was a greasy gimp mouthbreather that I’d never seem before, reckon it was him and he’s leftypol? shocking discovery if so

what?

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She wasn't looking at you you runt, she was simply forced by the seating configuration to look forward and unfortunately your face was in her line of vision. She probably found the experience unpleasant

british or russian???
80% of people get it wrong
click here to find out

corrr corrrrr corr corr Corr Corrrrrrr CORRRcorrr corrrrr corr corr Corr Corrrrrrr CORRRRRRcorrr corrrrr corr corr Corr Corrrrrrr CORRRRRRR CORR corr Corr COOOORcorrr corrrrr corr corr Corr Corrrcorrr corrrrr corr corr Corr Corrrrrrr CORRRRRRR CORR corr Corr COOOORRRRrrrr CORRRRRRR CORR corr Corr COOOORRRRRRRR CORR corr Corr COOOORRRRRRRR CORR corr Corr COOOORRRR

the most british man to ever exist

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qt mcdonalds cashier made eye contact with me when taking my order, might go back and put in a new order if you know what i mean ;)

no she wasn't sat directly opposite me, she was purposefully looking at me, I could see it from the corner of my eye.
I'm pretty attractive so this happens quite a lot but I'm too spergy to know how to handle the situation

what do normal people talk about? like when you hear ambient noise of people yapping on about meaningless rubbish in a crowded area, what conversations are they having?

you smile at her and if she smiles back you wink at her then wait for her to approach you

imagine spaffing on that face in teletubbie costume

>homer_simpson_nonce_alarm.jpg

heard some deanos on the train earlier talking about how their mate gazza was a hard man

>I'm pretty attractive so this happens quite a lot

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at the moment they're talking about things like Love Island, things on Netflix, The Avengers Endgame and football. It changes often but usually its the same surface level conversations

fuck this sounds difficult

im the most important individual ITT, bar none

have sex

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what about conversations on a night out? can hardly imagine people will be steaming while prattling on about the latest capeshite

How do people become alcoholics? Alcohol is fucking disgusting and almost always is used as a something you just have to do in social settings. Just realised I haven't drank in a month, and there is virtually no craving for it.

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2019... I am forgotten

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normal stuff (personal/family stuff, surface-level politics, TV shows, the weather etc)

same shit you talk about with people irl

Fucking hell has the channel 4 news always been so informal? Today's one started with
>Blond ambition. Donald Trump endorses Boris Johnson for prime minister. With friends like that who needs enemies? Good evening. Consider this: Donald Trump is to diplomacy what a fish is to a bicycle.

gear and birds

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Funny you should say that because they do. Apparently The Avengers has some really basic bitch lore to it and they discuss some stuff about how he or she did what they did and what some scenes meant. I havent watched any marvel film in my life so I wouldnt know what its about. Something about a cube or something.

And if they dont talk about that, women just talk about themselves all the time, and the lads just talk about women or football

My mum is gen x but my dad is a boomer

Olivier De Cromvailles, famous french general

They're just salty at the moment because most politicians on the right aren't taking questions from them anymore. Think they might lose their media status at this rate

I don’t talk to people in real life if you haven’t figured that out already

Howling

How do we show Mr Trump a good time while he's here?

test

Life's a miracle lads

might go for strawberry milkshakes this time