/brit/

'Cause there's always someone, somewhere
With a big nose, who knows
And who trips you up and laughs
When you fall

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told my girl about thailad

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can't wait for the men to begin kicking the ball

Without googling, guess who wrote the following passage:

>It probably sounds strange now, but in the 70s no one really cared how big their dick was. When I was a teenager I had every concievable hangup about my body except that. I don't know who started it (Queers probably). You find it in a lot of American Cop Shows but there's no mention of it in Stare. Whatever, in the showers at the gym I realised I had a really small dick, it was around 5", maybe 5.5"/6" if you measured right to the base. I'd found something new to worry about, something that I couldn't do anything about; It was a permanent hanicap. It was around that moment that I started to hate blacks. There weren't many of them in the school, I only had one in my class, a big, stocky guy named Ben. He always wore a baseball cap and a pair of Nikes. I was convinced he had a big dick. All the girls threw themselves at this big baboon, and here I was trying to teach them about Mallarmé, what the fuck was the point? This is the way the world ends, I thought bitterly, people worshipping in front of big dicks like hamadryas baboons.

what song are you listening to
for me its kool and the gang - jungle boogie

>fat shit
My favourite Sum 41 song

can a 1/10 or 2/10 girl in the UK please marry me so i can move there

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Where is it cool to have a vacation? Europe?

I work for a very large motor insurance company and it is my job to determine liability after policyholders are involved in road traffic collisions.

But I can't drive a car. As a matter of fact I have failed my driving test several times. You might think that the insurance man that decides your fate is a capable, safe driver but you are mistaken.

If you don't want to get shafted by a moron like me then you should be driving with front and rear facing dash cameras.

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*hides post*

Yeah Europe's nice

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how hard is the driving practical test

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series 3 of inbetweeners went downhill

very judgemental

B.O.

It's so piss easy to get a driver's license in America, of course our roads are really dangerous as a result but that's the price of freedom

So long as you just be yourself then you'll be sorted lad

The ninety percent of the time it's Eminem and Eminem + Rihanna. I feel myself confident while listening to him. He's a good guy.

Peng

explain

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lads

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How are your roads dangerous, you drive bumper cars down straight roads

tits are grim

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She's ugly, like your soul.

passed first time me

business idea: move to murica and buy an RV (as they call them) and live in the comfy woods, moving south for a few months of the year to avoid the cold and bears (realistically the electric bills) before going back up north once winter passes

seems a nice way to live for an autist like me 2bh

Eminem is a little bitch

Rap is for little bitches as it happens

I meant from the American women's point of view. Not for you personally, for her instagram.

that liverpool feel la

We give every moron a license at age 16, everybody is texting or drunk or high and in a lot of areas half the drivers are unlicensed illegal immigrants from Bumfuckistan. Also the roads are often shit quality and many of the highways lack proper medians or breakdown lanes

Reminder that Kazakhs are based

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roads here feel third world
spend half your time dodging parked cars and trying to decide if you have enough space to squeeze through
and everyone drive like maniacs

American immigration laws are retarded, a lottery? wtf just do merit based

applying for a fund for “””disabled””” people that gets them a few thousand pound to get a provisional, a degree etc
anything that reintegrates them into society

I like american roads but British roads are better for bikers, funner at least

All you have to do is drive for 40 minutes and neither crash nor break the law. It's very very easy assuming you have done enough lessons to actually be able to drive safely.

I think Thailand/Vietnam are more in vogue now, basically anywhere with beautiful beaches. Budget option would be a national park. Getting your picture taken in front of the Ponte Vecchio is kinda pointless cause most Americans have 0 clue what that is, but if you're in some tropical location you're automatically assumed to be rich.

Also beaches have the added bonus of giving you an excuse to wear a bikini and show of your boobs/arse

When will Liverpool fans admit that Hillsborough was DIRECTLY caused by their murder of 40 Italian footballs fans and the injuring of over 600 others in Heysal in 1985? Hillsborough was just karma desu

I knew a guy who did that, he had a club foot

youtube.com/watch?v=7Qy6xn2NZ4s

my instructor seems to think i'll be ready within 6-7 weeks so that's when i've booked the test for
very nervous though, reversing may be my downfall

news.sky.com/story/amp/fraudster-headteacher-with-sex-dungeon-office-banned-for-life-11732400
School I went to

on a last minute bevvie run to tescos in me car lads before the kick-off anything want owt from-- ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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You wake up in Glasgow, 2034

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Do you even need to reverse anymore? I thought they got rid of the manoeuvres when they added the sat nav stuff

in Neocastle they throw hoverbikes in the neotyne river

>LIVERPOO
>POOTTENHAM

lol smdh

>Shartenham Shitstir

i doubt i'd crash or break the law, it's more about getting things like reversing, hill starts right that worry me

replace buildings with heroin addicts

>everyone drive like maniacs
True, but you all have fancy cars compared to the continent
Coopers, bmw, skoda etc. Exception in London where I've found a wog family in a broken scenic, kino time, remembered me home sweet home

That's why you do lessons before taking the test. If you can't do those things then you shouldn't be taking the test yet

Aussies be like "Dubya tee eff mate"

>tf
>tp

liverpoo.........how did I not think of this

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easy af to move there if you're Irish, on account of lots of corrupt shit involving Irish-American politicians meaning I could literally just move there tomorrow haha

Why don't Euros buy Japanese cars? They are so plainly superior to everything American and every non-luxury brand

I got a cancellation test appointment and my instructor wasn't available at such short notice. I did the test in a car I'd driven for an hour that morning and passed with just one minor.

Driving is easy, it really is. I hate doing it and it stresses me out, but it's not technically challenging to do well

explain

Ford Focus will last you basically forever

WTF is this true? I remember we had an Irish babysitter when I was a kid which does seem weird in retrospect

off to /sp/ now lads
*leaves without saying see ya*

Reliable but expensive in the long run

Business idea: give 1000 pounds to a hobo and post it on youtube

I buy japanese bikes

Literally meme tier, ironically pretty much any western individual could move to the States until the Immigration and Nationality Act of 1965. The guy who proposed the bill, Celler, claimed it wouldn't change anything but it meant that it became difficult to emigrate to the States as a European because all of a sudden there were a hundred Asians and Africans also trying to emigrate and you had no precedence above them.

I wonder what Gary Lineker thinks of his brother?

business idea: give 1001 pounds to a hobo and post it on youtube

business idea: take it back from him once the cameras stop rolling and enjoy the revenue you get from youtube for the deed

Madrid does not look very comfy imo

just done a bloody shit lads

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Reckon all the junkies will be dead by then 2bh, they always seem to be from the trainspotting generation.

they are expensive and repairs are expensive

plus they’re naff

>news.sky.com/story/amp/fraudster-headteacher-with-sex-dungeon-office-banned-for-life-11732400

Second business idea: expose myself exploiting a hobo by making another channel using a voice changer

youtu.be/WcGnkfwIG8g CHOOOOOON

remember the holosbroughcaust

genius thought:

Hatchback cars are fucking ugly and if you drive one you are gay

Business idea: give out hampers including an atlas, clean underwear and a salad to Americans and video it for youtube

Irish are lucky that their country is perceived to be poor and backwards; if people knew that it was basically a Nordic country with mild weather the place would be flooded with refugees

I’ve got a bunch of mental issues that fall under the equality act but I reckon it’ll only be enough to scrounge a couple hundred quid from it seeing as I’ve not lost an arm or any other physical ailments

it already is, Ireland is less white than UK

known as the 'J1 visa'

we can literally just swan over as students and tell the immigration officials were on a J1 and we get in no questions asked to essentially do whatever we want (once we have our own funding ofc). even then we can still keep working some nonsense 'job' as long as we keep renewing said 'J1'

tl;dr don't underestimate the power of muh heritage!

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News does not get any faker than this