Germans be like

Germans be like
>NEEEEIN YOU CAN'T JUZT FLUSH AWAY ZE POO BEFORE INSPECTING IT PROPERLY AAAAGH VAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!

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Do Germs really

I just shit in my left hand (unironically)

why so many finns on here posting weird stuff?

anyone else have to finger their bungholes to shit properly because they're too fat and haven't used their core muscles in 6 years?

wish I was kidding

Observation deck, holy shit, so if you leave some shit in the toilet you have to brush it? What if you don't do it? You get fined?
Please, taste your poop and describe the flavour.

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holy shit lose weight or kill yourself.
start water fasting and and eating nothing but vitamin and protein supplements NOW

Ok fat fuck, do 10 crunches RIGHT NOW

Right is for civilized person. Left is for dirty who like their arse being splashed by pee and poo everytime they take shit.

It depends, nowadays it is extremely white and liquid but not completely liquid, would taste like milk I think

thats yikes

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Germs be like
>NEEEEEEEEEEEEEIN YOU MUZT PEE WHILE SITTING DOWN VI CALL ZAT ZE SITZPINKLER AAAAA HELP ZOMEONE CALL ZE POLIZEI HE IS BREAKING ZE LAW

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>not just putting some toilet paper down to cushion the splash

Amateur

I pee while sitting down, comfy and saves time.

I have done this my whole life, but I am not fat, it simply helps you poo faster. It also feels really good, ngl

Yeah, thank Feminism for that shit. Fuck I hate boomers and their retarded ideologies.

>not just peeing in your garden

Olds news. Nowadays most toilets are standard

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this, gotta assert your property to yiffers

Why do Germans have such strict etiquette for the pee poo affairs?

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use urinals or piss in the bushes you lazy fucking krauts, not everything you hate is made by le cringy sjws

>Flachspueler
The beautiful German language.

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Agreed.

at least we're not like the southern french shitting into a hole in the earth like jungle people

what does it feel like tho?

ive only done this once when i ate too much chocolate and was constipated at a young age of course

>what does it feel like tho?
Like fingering your bunghole I would assume.

The only peoples toilet etiqutte that I respect are the dutch. They don't wash their hands after poopoo-peeing just like me.

>dude just piss in your garden
>strict etiquette

yeah but how does it feel like

>saves time
How? with sitting down there is at least two more steps you have to do to complete the process

Pee comes from my pee pee faster when I sit down, I dunno why. Whenever I'm in a building I'd usually sit down to pee, on nature tho I pee while standing up

are urinals banned in Germany?

>it simply helps you poo faster
Why do you need help pooing?

highly American post, proud of you son

>wasting paper
why
the right design is clearly superiour
Sadly, they are nowhere to find anymore in russia

What?

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How does it feel to sit on the seat where standing Chads pissed all it over two seconds ago?

rare

Yes. Too dangerous.

>he doesn't pee while lying on the ground
pleb

sitting down to pee is unironically the best way. when you pee standing up you are sending millions of piss and toilet water particles everywhere. it is okay to pee standing up in public restrooms but at home you should sit.

Include me in the screencap lads

I just don't like the water spashing on my ass with the other types of toilets.

>wasting paper
everyone should be using bidets then

and god knows I don't want to share anything with the Fr*nch and T*rks

You have to fucking angle your dick in order to pee while sitting down, that's not comfortable.

Urinals are for public buildings and bars.

...

Imagine the satisfaction of a huge turd, but every time and for as long as you want

I just like getting it over with, and it has become somewhat of a habit

Dutch guy on vacation?

Feel like the worst thing about this is the smell. Poop smells way worse above water.

include me in this memory

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Well that's a good way to catch colon cancer at an early stage. Maybe Germans are hypochondriac.

Bidets are fucking amazing. I wish they were standard everywhere. Having a sparkling clean asshole feels great.

I wish I could see your asshole

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TL note Flachspüler means "flat flusher"

Why?

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You should check your diet if you're having trouble pooing. I took a shit literally a minute ago, I just sat down and then I just shit out the shit in seconds

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K-KARA BOGA

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A-user-kun...!

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so this is the power of the Ottoman Empire...

Requesting screenshot of the Pole making this thread and getting absolutely btfod

I can confirm that it smells worse. My ex's place had those shelve toilets cause it was an old building. I just flushed immediately whenever I pushed something out desu

My mate used to live with his gf and another girl. It was a hot summer and I’d always be round there chillin in the back garden. Was a really long garden but pretty narrow. Perfect for throwing American footballs etc.

Anyway we’d spend long days drinking beers and plinking the cans full of holes with this BB gun we had. When we needed a piss we’d just go in the garden. Man his gf would get so triggered. Women are funny. Always so stressy. We didn’t stop pissing in the garden just got a bit more stealth about it.

Good times.

I have been to Germany multiple times to visit family and I have never seen one of these toilets.

Doesn't it reek like piss after a while? I'd probably also be mad. I wouldn't want my garden to smell like piss.

His GF should be glad because urine has a lot of phosphorous in it, which is the primary ingredient in fertilizer

You were unironically blooming her flowers.

I thought you Germans loved pee and poo and kinky butt stuff

You should still inspect your shit and toilet paper. Especially if you have a poor diet.
I'm not asking you to smell it, just inspect it the day after a fat or sugary meal.

Yeah, and I got a fucking urinary tract infection once for sitting down on in a portaloo. My dickend must’ve touched the inner basin and got shit on it or something. Disgusting. I only sat down cos I needed a shit myself like, fuck sitting down.

i do hate when sometimes my dick touches the toilet bowl. makes me feel like ill get a disease. i few times when i was a kid and my dick was tiny, i would sit down to poo and naturally i would pee, but the angle of my dick when sitting down it was kind of pointing straight forward, bcause of my little balls being cold and proping my dick up, and when i pee'd it would go between the crack of the toilet and toilet seat, and get all over the floor and my pants. i learned my lesson and made sure my balls were freshly stretched out and more floppy, so as to not prop my dick upwards

It's a meme because that kind of porn was (haha >was) illegal in Britain so bongs had to illegally import their scat and watersports porn from Germany.

I wipe the toilet seat before and after every time I use it. A habit picked up while working at a hospital.

pic or never happened

Why were Germans selling scat and watersports porn? Damn, I guess they must be really into it.

Germans are really into scat though. I remember seeing an info graphic about it, germans are really deviant in sexual nature.

I don’t judge you though Hans

we wouldn't be able to see it because it's the same colour as his hand

youtube.com/watch?v=-o-7MmhqNfA

Possibly the worst post on this site that I've read

And here is the USA, in case you need a scientific control group for mental retardation

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no, I simply do it out of boredom

>British chav
based patriots

MAMMA MIA

There's not a single mention of scat in there though. Pissing is there but that's a lot less worse than scat.
Kek at feet and bondage though. I had a feeling bondage is popular here but feet is a bit of a surprise.
>squirt
I'm calling the Queen RIGHT NOW, that's illegal
>mutts are all about race
>trannies on the rise
Nothing surprising here

kurWA NIE

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I feel like anal is scat-adjacent, which is #1. But Anal is #5 for both UK and USA

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kek same as me. Easier for me since I squat down while releasing the krakens. The poops became like small rocks sometimes so my index finger inserted in the anus and extracts the poop rocks. Makes pooping much faster and easier

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>I feel like anal is scat-adjacent
user what the fuck, no