Let me tell you m8's a story

Let me tell you m8's a story

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So I woke up this morning 'bout 11am and hopped on Skippy to go for a fucken ride m8.

We popped into the servo to grab some Ciggies and then headed up Kwinana. We stopped in Perth and I lit that shit up and had a nice 20 minute smoko. Then a thought struck me and I said "ey there's half price goon going roight now". All the Nips were starin' at me like I was crazy, so I said "fuck off we're full Nips".

Then this pig came swoopin' out of nowhere taser drawn tryin' to arrest me for hate-speech. I flipped that cunt the fucken bird then kicked Skippy into TOP FUCKEN GEAR M8. By the time I looked back Skippy had already reached Uluru, we headed to a local bottle-o and I grabbed some fucking piss, some solid goon and a stubby of Swan. Fuck thats sum good shit m8.
Skippy took off towards Adelaide and I popped into my dealers farm to get some more Kush, that's all South Australia is good for desu m8. We made for Perth but halfway there Skippy up and fucken died on me since there's no fucken water on the Nullarbor. Fucken roos these days amirite? Only good for about 3500 k's.

So I was walking back to Perth and halfway there these fucken boongs started throwing spears and boomerangs at me probably cuz I'm white. Normally I'd shoot those fuckas down with my government issue Brown bess but since that Tasmanian dude pulled off 30 headshots in a row and beat Murricas high score can't do that anymore m8. I skedaddled the fuck outta there, and finally made my way to Armadale.

Fuck Armadale, Boong town and Bogan town all rolled into one. I was walkin down the street with my goon and my stubby and this fucken abo kid rushes me and pats down my back pocket trying to get me fucken wallet. Luckily some pigs were there and tased that fucker instantly, it was pretty fucken noice m8.

Halfway past the shoppo I saw this spaced-out Boong blowin on a Didgeridoo like
*BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR YEOW BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR YEOW

Enough with the whole Kangaroo thing. The truth is most Australians have never even seen one. They're actually pretty rare. So can we stop lying on Jow Forums for once in our pathetic lives?

I flipped that lad a dolla for the bus and got im straight in the forehead, he barely seemed to register it, probably too much petrol huffin

she'll be right m8
roos are coming home

Made my way back home from there, chugged that goon bag in one solid go and about half the stubby too, lit myself a nice phat cone and had another smoko. Pretty sure I passed out about that point, dont even need fucken big pharma sedatives m8

t. Victoricuck