/brit/

I'd kick king john the bender up and down the road. Big fucking poof.

No point even defending it the trains in this country are dire. Pay more and more every year and the service just gets worse and worse

Introducing...

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*pulls down your pants from behind you exposing your microscopic willy to the whole of /brit/*

Told you lads he didnt have a willy

ausroads are so long and straight literal kids can drive for hundreds of kilometres

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*stands outside the /brit/ door*
*takes multiple deep breaths*
"You can do this, you can do this..."
*opens the door*
Alri lads, poo willy and all that haha
*awkwardly strolls to the back*

*unveils microscope and begins inspecting the region*
eh eh eh, just hold on there a minute young man

Ask your ma. Left her fanny like a ripped out fireplace mate.

actionposting is cancerous reddit shit fuck off

lol wtf that is mental, respect the kids for the bollocks to do that

It really is. No idea how the trains in particular manage to be so much more expensive than in other European countries.

business idea: mini trains which only hold like 4 people that can be owned, maintained and operated privately

*action posts*

yeh thats what happens when you privatize public services lad *glares towards any man who thinks privatizing the nhs is a good idea*

*taxes you*

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stop talking about kid's bollocks you sick freak

You talking to me son? Stick your head between your legs and kiss your arse goodbye because you're dealing with the real thing here son

*forces your head*

can't imagine a situation in which i will ever be sober again

wasn't funny last thread either

just off the phone with big dazza from southend who says little daz from colchester stole big deanos moped from ipswitch and big dazza is avin none of that and has assembled a hit squad of big dazza himself big tommy and mick the prick to shank little daz's tyres of his brand new secondhand ford corsa

Better idea: an actual train that holds 100+ passengers that don't clog up the rails

probably when i comatoze you with a right hook

Remember lads, no discussion of British culture, no blog posting, no *action* posting, just poo postings only from here on in.

There were two Irish kids in the 80s who got a bus to the airport and somehow got on a plane to new york
They were only noticed when they went through US passport control

nah coz then ill be in the hopstical with morphine innit

Shut up runt. I tower over your feeble little body. I'd pick you and snap you in half over my knee.

more than 10 words?

not reading it

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He's been pretending to be a pikey for more than one thread, but you're still right.

comparable to the odyssey this

reckon it doesn't matter whether your privitizing a public asset or nationalising private assets - the change in ownership reduces efficiency and service delivery.

no you’ll be strapped up on a wooden table getting your bollocks pummeled with a spiked mace

Expensive. Always late and slow. Different cities often run two or three bus services and the tickets aren't always transferable. Illogical layouts. Trains are always packed.

London is the exception where it's just expensive but at least it functions.

Don't refer to me in a derogatory manner you anglo swine. I'd drop you with a slap.

*loiters outside the door of /brit/ for an extended period of time, pacing to and fro*
*slowly creaks the door, peering at each of the lads as the door agonisingly jars itself open*
*ahem* h-haha alri lads mates n all that
*stands at the entrance for far too long before someone beckons me in*
ah y-yeah hah what am I like
*paces over to a full table at a considerably hasty speed almost slipping on the newly-bleached floorboards*
*pulls in a chair and takes a seat at the corner of the table, leaning on the very edge of my seat hunched over*
*don’t take a sip of my pint or say a word throughout the entire thread*

Just walk, England isn't that big.

well then i'll be in a state of ecstacy wont i

why do girls like willies lads? is it biologically programmed into them? for me I dont like willies but I like my own, cant imagine people that like willies

girls are benders

some kids have bollocks, get over it

exemplary post

The name's bond, jail bond

could put anyone to sleep both physically or mentally

wish I could be a kid again just to see what I could get away with

maddest thing to me is their willingness to suck willy, they’ll literally suck you off for the sake of sucking you off despite them getting nothing out if it

madness

same way we like chebs, its just reversed, they like our bits we like their bits

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yeah as soon as you open your mouth

what’s sexually attractive about a willy, it’s just a silly willy. there’s billions of them about, they’re nothing special
at least with arsez n chebz then they’re jiggly n fun to bounce about but a willy’s just a willy, nowt special about it
don’t fucking get girls man

same reason men suck nipples

Don't drink much. When I'm drunk in a pub I just start going around slapping people. Can't help it. Turn into a vicious cunt.

Hmm really interesting, anyway can I get a hearty Italian? Footlong please.

for milkies

think I’d cry if anyone confronted me in a pub

you're a good lad mikey

you’d get a bottle dashed at your head if you came within 5 metres of me with that attitude, that failing id mash a pint glass square into your face

hello new labour

Maybe you are a pikey after all

Posting under this flag and complaining about the British transport system is a whole new level of irony

think i'd cry just randomly
in fact i do ahah

have a few videogames I’d like to finish up but I’d much rather rot away posting tedious rubbish on /brit/

You'd get two back. Don't think for a second if I got glassed you'd escape. I'd take your life
cheers lad

*fondles your willy under the table*

the two are one and the same

*burns your tear ducts out with a soldering iron*

worship my cock you filthy whore

ahah me too mate me too

*jiggles your belly*

quite like willies not gonna lie, its weird because I see one and I just want to suck. Dont know why just do

kids be talking like they ain't younger than the KBD
loooooooooooool

I found a japanese model of human body. It is so exact. Our bodies have lots of muscles.

*jiggles your belly*

reckon you'd need a forklift to jiggle my belly

how do people glass people without hurting themselves? only time I've seen anything close to violence in a pub was when some runt tried to smash his pint glass off the bar (to have a weapon of sorts I suppose) and only succeeded in cutting his own hand up very bad.

*sporadically writhes my legs in such a manner so as to escape your meaty clutches*

man finna act the roadman ting innit

twitter.com/charli_xcx/status/1149844619376627713

only been in/between Berlin, Munich, Hamburg and Hannover but German public transport seems a lot cheaper and a lot better integrated and run than British transport.

If it's a pint glass you place your palm over the bottom. If it's a bottle grab it by the neck.

simple as. bi life is the high life

A guy giving a training session to my company almost stormed out after the boss had been laying into him for being poorly prepared

He was a shoddy trainer, but I wouldn't have put up with it either... Venomous man is are 'berg.

reckon I could out drink anyone in here

*walks up the bar*
"right barman 3 bottles of stella"
"alri la where you sitting?"
"sitting right fucking here mate"
*tans 2 bottles in a matter of seconds*
*picks up the 3rd bottle*
*throws it across the pub cracking open the skull of a runtoid sitting hunched over his char in the corner*
*walks out the door without paying*

dad is literally, unironically, on-track for a knighthood lads

makes me feel even worse about being a fuckup lol

Glassing people though is just pure tramps carry on. Better off having a few clouts.

pint glasses are all safety glass these days
cant do nuffin with them'

wouldnt give a fuck mate id bottle you and make you apologize

South Africa's just a cheaper Australia with more black people

whats he done?

yeah crimes and violence and that
definitely all true and definitely worth posting

German public transport is a dream compared to the UK. My (British) parents visited me here once and were literally astonished when I predicted the bus would come on time and it did. Sure it's not perfect but it's leagues better.

If you genuinely think stabbing me with a bottle would make me apologise to you you're in for a shock.