STOP CALLING US EASTERN EUROPE

sounds like a plan

The only Central Europeans in my eyes are Germany, Switzerland, Liechtenstein
and Austria. Slavs are automatically Eastern Europeans.

This. Central Europe is an expression that derives from the concept of 'Mitteleuropa' which named those areas of Europe that were largely Gemanophone and/or German-dominated. When you guys expelled the Germans from your areas you forcibly rejected your claim to this heritage and ceased to be Central European forever

we've tried very hard to reeducate ourselves into good Eastern Europeans by borrowing words from that region and giving ourselves foreign names like Vladimir, Boris and Svetlana, but sometimes the 1000 years spent in Western Europe still breaks through the machismo, nepotism, homophobia, and swearing in Turkish, despite our best efforts, though it's been getting increasingly rarer of late.

Ok little Russia
Ok little Balkan