Why did the Swede crawl on the floor in the shop?
Why did the Swede crawl on the floor in the shop?
Tyler Ward
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Camden Thomas
tell me mr frog, why did he do that?
Mason Morales
because he was shot in the stomach by a muslim
Ryder Bennett
To look for low prices.
Levi Powell
haha based
Levi Mitchell
Why wasn't Jesus born in Sweden?
Austin King
Because they couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin.
Daniel Perry
lol
Samuel Ross
How do you sink a Norwegian submarine?
You swim down and knock.
Ayden Ross
The Norwegian told his wife
"did you know they said it would snow on the radio"
She replied
"well you better cover it up then"
Luis Sullivan
Why do Swedish umbrellas have a big hole in the top?
So they can see when it stops raining.
Jaxson Gray
The nowregian asked his friend
"did you hear lightnight at your place yesterday"
"I don't know I was at my neigbours all night"
Carter Jenkins
>How do you sink a Swedish warship?
Don't worry, the Swedes will do it for you.
Parker Peterson
Jacob Lewis
lightning*
David Diaz
How many Swedes does it take to change a lightbulb?
A hundred. 1 to hold the lightbulb, and 99 to twist the house.
Austin Butler
That was a Dutch ship that we commissioned. They cheated us.
Anthony Murphy
Why did the swede drive five times around the block before getting home? His turn signal jammed.
Matthew Russell
ahahah based
cringe have sex
Sebastian Rivera
Why are you stealing our jokes about you and trying to turn them around on us? That's not very nice. Besides, everyone knows that Swedes are smart engineers, scientists and titans of industry whereas Norwegians are stupid oafs, fishermen, and hill farmers.
Matthew Wilson
The Norwegian lifeguard told his boss
"the guests are unusually friendly today"
"how so" replies the boss
"I've already seen 7 of them wave at me"
Jonathan Ramirez
I'm sure many of those jokes have been around for ages applied to and by a shitload of nationalities.
Liam Myers
A swedish hare runs into a norwegian hare by the countries border and asks
"where are you off to in a hurry?"
"it's elk season in norway" the norwegian hare responds
"but you're no elk" stammers the swedish hare in confusion
"you tell the norwegians that"
Daniel Rivera
Charles Peterson
all this swedish butthurt... delicious
Liam Roberts
Have you heard of the Swede who called his government stupid?
He was sentenced to four years in jail for revealing state secrets.
Tyler Edwards
What dou you mean? Just sharing some fun jokes in response is not being butthurt.
Nolan Flores
What do you call a wise man in Sweden?
A tourist.
Hunter Miller
How do you sink a Norwegian submarine?
Give it a Swedish crew
Ethan Morales
This except the exact opposite.
Josiah Nguyen
good one
Alexander Hill
Why was the Swedish father crying?
Jose Reed
person 1: tells a joke
person 2: tells a joke
retard: wow person 2 is so butthurt
Connor Wood
HERE IS ALSO TRUE STORY:
SWEDE WALK INTO BAR
CONFUSED BECAUSE WOMAN ALSO IN BAR
HE ASK BARTENDER IS THIS GAY BAR?
HE ANSWER "NO"
SWEDE WALK OUT AND GO TO GAY BAR
:---DDDDDDDDD
Juan Rivera
Two Norwegians were outside chatting and looking at the moon
"wow imagine how many people must live on the moon"
"yeah, it must get awfully crowded when it's half moon"
Chase Hill
Samuel Barnes
Why was he crying ?
Elijah Hughes
Why did the Swede have empty bottles in his fridge?
In case he had visitors that weren't thirsty
Eli Anderson
His daughter had just been raped and murdered by Islamic immigrants
Aiden Hughes
Zachary Cox
Because his son was a gay dumb faggot who got beat up by Muslims and he wanted to kill himself.
Daniel Nelson
mussies don't shoot, they stab
Luis Nelson
His son came out as straight
Landon Gonzalez
During elk season in Norway the government wanted to prevent hunters shooting each other instead of the elk, so they took means of precaution.
For instance all hunters had to wear a headlamp and shout "I am not an elk" when they came across other hunters. Despite these precautions a hunter was still shot. When the hunters who shot him were asked to explain how the accident occured they responded
"we thought he was shouting "I am an elk". We're awfully sorry doctor, do you think he is going to make it"
The doctor replies
"he might have if you didn't also skin him afterwards"
Ryder Gomez
water pressure would prevent the hatch from opening underwater
>swedish intelligence
Juan Jenkins
A Canadian, Finn and a Pakistani walks into a bar. A Norwegian with a bleeding nose comes around the corner and says "Oh, so it happened to you as well?"
Luis Gomez
No more brother wars guys
Charles Allen
QUESTION:
WHY IS SWEDISH MAN MARRIED EVEN THOUGH HE'S GAY????????????????????????
SO ABDUL CAN FUCK HIS WIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wyatt Evans
What’s the difference between the Swedes and the Finns? The Swedes have got nice neighbours.
Luke Perez
A ventriloquist brought his puppet to a pub and begun telling jokes about Swedes. Suddenly a Swede stands up and scolds him for discriminating and stigmatising Swedes.
Embarrassed, the ventriloquist begins to apologise, but the Swede interrupts him and says: "You stay out of this, I'm talking to that little fuck on your knee"
Dominic Stewart
yeah well the door opens on the inside what now smartypants
Jordan Green
That's why nobody uses croatian submarines
Carson Thomas
How does a Swede know that his sister is menstruating? When his dads dick tastes like blood
Mason White
Ayden Diaz
it's not a door it's a hatch
Jaxson Martinez
Henry Reed
yeah well the hatch opens on the inside what now smartypants
Connor Kelly
Did you hear about the Swede that brought binoculars to a funeral?
It was for a distant relative.
Carson Moore
>N-no more brother wars
cringe amerimutt
Eli Johnson
Why did the Norwegian fail his mass shooting?
Because he got beat up by an old immigrant!!!
Christopher Johnson
SWEDISH MAN COME HOME FROM HARD (LOL) DAY AT WORK AT THE GAY BAR
HE ENTER HOUSE AND HEAR STRANGE NOISE FROM BEDROOM
HE GO BEDROOM AND SEE JAMAL AND HIS WIFE HAVE SEX ON HIS BED!!!!!!
SWEDE STAYS AND WATCHES
THE END
Sebastian Flores
there's always one autistic retard that doesn't understand the thread at all
Kevin Allen
The Swedish policeman was investigating a burglary, and his boss asked him:
"How was the window shattered?"
"On both sides!" the policeman replied.
Leo Kelly
As an AVSTRALIAN MAN in muttland, I will larp as a mutt so that you mixed cunts can be ridiculed even more. Fuck yall mixed poofta cunts
Robert Rivera
Based Norge
William Hernandez
>Besides, everyone knows that Swedes are smart engineers, scientists and
Why does Sweden have so many smart engineers and scientists?
... they came en masse during the refugee crisis
James Rodriguez
based
Hunter Collins
Based and boomerangpilled
Ryan Taylor
Why don't the Swedes eat pickles?
Their heads don't fit into the jars.
Adrian Walker
How do Norwegians improve their cars? By attaching more horses to it.
How can you reveal a Norwegian spy? By asking him what he does for a living.
How many Norwegians are needed for a balloon ride? Thirty one - one to pilot the aircraft, and thirty to blow air into it.
Why do Norwegian scientists work in the dark? So they can easier find bright ideas.
What's the biggest Norwegian contribution to mankind? A fucking cheese slicer.
Jace Rodriguez
>HHHNNNNNNNNGGGGEEEEEEEEEEEUUUUUUUUUURHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HNGRRURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
William Thomas
A Norwegian, a Finn, and a Swede are on the run from the police. They decide to hide in a barn on the side of the road. The Norwegian hides behind a cow, the Finn hides behind a horse, and the Swede hides underwater in a pond. When the police enter the barn, the Norwegian says "Moo", the Finn says "Neigh", and the Swede says "fishfishfishfish".
Anthony Gutierrez
But what does the fox say?
Jordan Lopez
>"Neigh"
sounds more like a Swede to me
Isaiah Bennett
What's the difference between a cuckoo clock and a swede?
You wind a cuckoo clock from the front and it goes "tick tock tick tock"
You wind the swede from behind and it says "tack tack tack tack"
Chase King
A Norwegian and a Swede are out camping in the forest, when they notice a bear about to attack them. The Norwegian slowly starts putting his shoes on, to which the Swede says: "You can't possibly plan to outrun that bear!"
"I don't," the Norwegian said, "I only have to outrun you."
Ethan Cruz
S E E T H I N G
Levi Brown
An American is on the run from the police, luckily he has taken a magical elixir which makes whatever it soaks invisible.
Within the next 24 hours, a lemon juice soaked McArthur Wheeler is also taken into custody for robbery.
Nicholas Carter
You're 5 jokes behind lillebror, come on, step it up
Justin Edwards
Maybe it's because i'm super fucking tired but i didn't get this one
Carson Garcia
Two Swedes are out hunting, when they notice some tracks on the ground.
"Those are deer tracks!" the first one says.
"No, you idiot, those are clearly boar tracks!" the second one replies.
"Are you blind?" the first one retorts, "they're obviously deer tracks!"
"Listen to me, I've been hunting in these woods for decades, and I know boar tracks when I see them!" says the second Swede.
They continue to argue for several minutes about the tracks, completely oblivious to the train that's about to run them over.
Bentley Perez
It's not a joke, it's a true story
>steemit.com
Caleb Turner
A Dane, Swede and a Norwegian were arrested in ww2 and sentenced to death. Before the execution they all got one wish. The Dane wanted a delicious meal with a beer. The Norwegian wanted to make a statement. The Swede wanted to be executed before the Norwegian started to speak.
Isaac Cruz
Joshua Harris
An Icelander, Norwegian and swede sat together in a cafe and then the Norwegian says: Isn't this Jesus sitting there? Sure it looks like hi, the others agree. The Norwegian leans to Jesus and says: Aren't you Jesus? And Jesus says, Yes, it is the man. And then the Norwegian says: Jesus, can you fix the hip that has been bad all my life? Sure, Jesus and the Norwegian went back healthy. The swede then goes to Jesus and says: can you fix my back that has always tormented me? and of course he was well on the spot!
Then the Icelander gets up scared and says:
Don't touch me, I'm on benefits!
Caleb Russell
keked desu
Nicholas Rivera
a dane, norwegian and swede went to jail. they could pick a thing each to bring
the dane brought beer, the norwegian his gf and the swede a bunch of cigarettes
18 years pass and you can see the dane happily drunk on the floor, the norwegian with his gf and 18 kids and the swede standing with all of his unsmoked cigarettes asking "do you have a lighter?"
Joshua Wright
Forpulede molbo
Owen Robinson
>Austlandet
>Noreg
Vel ei
Jace Sullivan
I got a retarded chuckle out of this one
Easton Russell
Because stupid Sw*doids don't know how to walk upright?
Isaiah Lopez
Based. All I do is shit on Americans and make intentionally retarded posts to encourage more people to shit on Americans
Wyatt Rivera
Holy fucking based
Michael Rogers
thank you for your service
Lucas Roberts
Where are you from?
Christopher Williams
I’m European like all my ancestors :)