/brit/ have sex edition

magnum dong

>Have sex

Imagine being gay and being able to have all the sex you want at the click of a button.

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Wouldn't say dmt but drugs for sure

Giga Brian Protip: Grindr is the best place to find drugs

why

According to the heart rate sensor on my phone I'm at 50bpm

I wish I had that many boyfriends. T_T

Just going to be sat on my own not talking to anyone

LOL

>youtube.com/watch?v=YsA3PK8bQd8

tfw born just in time to see society regress back to stone age when i'm in my 60s

but it's gross soulless bumsex though
they can't ever feel the kind of connection felt between a heterosexual couple

not funny mate I have social anxiety

Have my driving theory test tomorrow, really nervous

dont got any mates at toil me

The future generations will look back at our generation as selfish and reckless.

AHHHHHH FUCKING ELLLL

future generations won't be alive

Driving is only a theory. Teach the Invisible Wires Theory of car travel!

imagine how much poo must spread between their anuses

toil must be pretty grim without mates to banter with whilst there

same amount as the urine spread between willers and fanners

I'm gay and I'm not getting this sex on demand

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every time I walk down the street I just am overcome with an overwhelming urge to beat the absolute shit out of skinny manlets I see with hot girls

In nature little runts like that wouldn’t breed it’s not fair bros

quit living in the suburbs

You didn't get the memo?
Big/tall guys went out fashion ages ago

Everyday when you're walking down the street and everybody that you meet has an original point of view and I say hey

You must be beyond hideous then

There's nothing quite like making love to a beautiful woman in the missionary position and cumming inside her. Gays will simply never know this feeling. It's what God intended. I feel sorry for all you bumboys that cannot experience it. I know you're probably repulsed by the mere sight of a vagina and by the smell of a woman so you don't care.

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big fucking pump at the gym. blew past my max and nearly made the faggot employee shit his pants when I let out my alpha roar.

gays can still shag girls btw. they don't want to but it's not physically impossible for them to do it.

> lifting

Yikes. Enjoy your shot joints at 35.

Calisthenics 4 life

probably sounded like you were getting bummed

all weight lifters are bent

its not like in a clockwork orange when the topless girl comes on stage?

How do incels reconcile their worldview with the fact that famous and successful people exist??

i'm not some frail "instagram model" bud, nor am I a fucking idiot. anyone who blows their joints out like that is a retard.

5th wank of day cor blimey i'm spent

women can't be funny

i'd put eddie hall to the floor in 5 seconds flat.

don't forget to push your anus back in when you're done

I watched the movie Cabaret, and I keep having dreams that I'm in 1930s Berlin.

don't want to hear what you gets up to at the gym, lad. certainty isn't my business.

I get knocked down but I get up again
But I get knocked down again but I get up again
You're never gonna get knocked up again
You're never gonna get knocked down
I'm packed and I'm pissing
Smiling, she's living, she's golden, she lives for me
Says she lives for me, pissing, her own motivation
She comes 'round and
He drinks a whiskey drink (Do ever what), he drinks a vodka drink
He drinks a lager drink, he drinks a cider drink (You wanna do)
He sings the songs that remind him of the rhythm that divides you
He sings the songs that remind him of the songs that remind him of the
He drinks piss, he drinks piss
He drinks piss, he drinks piss
He sings the songs that remind him of the piss
I drink piss down, I get knocked down
I want something else to get me through this semi-charmed kinda life, baby, baby
I want something else, I'm not listening when you say goodbye
Gold, it was rose
I was taking sips of it through my nose
And I wish I could get back there, some place back there
Smiling in the piss you would take
Stop to the rhythm, lift you up until you break
It won't stop, I won't come down
I keep stock with the tick-tock rhythm
I piss through my nose
And then I piss up, I took the piss that I was pissing
Then I piss again, then I piss again I said
"How do I get back there, dude? The place where I fell asleep inside my nose?"
How do I get myself back to the place where you said, "I get knocked down"
I want something else to get me through this semi-charmed kinda life, baby, baby
I want something else, I'm not listening when you say goodbye
I believe in the sand beneath my toes
The beach gives a feeling, an earthy feeling
I believe in the faith that grows
And the four right chords can make me cry
When I'm with you I feel like I could die
And that would be alright, alright
And when the plane came in, she said she was crashing
The velvet, it rips in the city, we tripped on the urge to feel alive
Now I'm struggling to survive, those days you were wearing that velvet dress

singing and dancing? poof

of course the incel subhumans of /brit/ recoil in disgust at the mere thought of pure strength training. it's all good, not everyone is cut out to be a real man. go watch your porn, kids.

You're the priestess, I must confess
Those little red panties they pass the test
Slide up around the belly, face down on the mattress
He drinks a whiskey drink, he drinks a vodka drink
He drinks a lager drink, he drinks a cider drink
He sings the songs that remind him of the vodka drink
He sings the songs that remind him of the
Songs that remind him of the cider drink
He drinks piss, he drinks piss
He drinks piss, he drinks piss
He sings the songs that remind him of the
Songs that remind him of the piss beneath my toes
I get knocked down
And you hold me and we are broken
Still it's all that I wanna do, just a little now
Feel myself hovering off the ground
I'm scared, I'm not coming down, no, no
And I won't run for my life
She's got her jaws now locked down in a smile
But pissing is alright, alright
And I want something else to get me through this life, baby
I want something else, not listening when you say, "Hey goodbye"
Goodbye, goodbye
Goodbye, goodbye
Goodbye, goodbye
Goodbye

Im a big man

this you?

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nobody cares without pics how big you are

Crimbo soon

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No but i lift

mad that i could have been talking to some of you when i was on /b/ 12 years ago

don't have to prove myself to a bunch of mouth breathing incels. let's just say, it approximates this (expect not as pretty and more bulky)

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Hermione Granger your farts are positively rancid! 10 points to Gryffindor!

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Erm yeah I'ma need you to delete this lad
Ya werent torkin to her ya were talkin to me!

already got 3 presents for people. love being santa

I never said it was. I'm saying they can't experience the feeling that straight guys have when they do it because they're repulsed by it. A vagina must look like a hideous gaping wound to them.

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lol u tk him 2da bar|?

>gay
>Straight

Why not both?

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whats the time now in your city
wish we had 24/7 gyms here, would have gladly went at 2 or 3 am everday when there all the snarky teens and women aren't around

chuck's fuck and suck

only goin on 10 here

WE HAVE TO GO BACK

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Have done and experienced things so grim i sometimes sit back and think about it and its actually mental. Like you wouldn't even believe me if I told you lads some of the things

in britain it's charlie's shag and sip

My gay house mate in college had a different twink over every god damned night, The dude was a heart breaker, those introverted twinks were puddy in his gay dom hands

My friend started going to the gym regularly then a year later he told me he was a bender

howling at that baby sneed picture

Have unironically gotten banned for posting that before.

don't be silly, wrap your willy

when im alone i sometimes scream a bit when my mind jumps to dumb shit i said or did years ago

never seen it

thoughts on this gentleman?

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took part in some of the first /b/ habbo hotel raids
good times

You need no proof of divine power other than the holy one smiting these sodomites with aids.

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fuck apples are only 70 calories thats pretty sweet

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>Frequently, a schizoid individual's social functioning improves, sometimes dramatically, when the individual knows he or she is an anonymous participant in a real-time conversation or correspondence, e.g. in an online chat-room or message-board. Indeed, it is often the case the individual's online correspondent will report nothing amiss in the individual's engagement and affect.

We live in a society

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was unironically just typing about the early days of posting for me on b and Jow Forums and i said something about what i was doing later and it got like 5 replies of people like "yeah nice larp bro epic wizard" blah blah but it wasn't even unbelievable it was something like "im going to a party tonight and im gonna fuck this girl" or something like that lol but they genuinely couldn't believe it. i think it was when i realised this place is really full of people that have never done fuck all so they genuinely cant imagine how even something simple could happen for someone else

let it burn, don't care. finally kill the planet so those climate activists can shut the fuck up

>personality disorder characterized by a lack of interest in social relationships, a tendency towards a solitary or sheltered lifestyle, secretiveness, emotional coldness, detachment and apathy.
pretty sure that everyone here

yeah nice larp bro epic wizard

Fuck niggers
Fuck faggots
Fuck lefties

Come the day of the rope we will burn them

I love Charles Manson

He was #baseddd

Fedpol? He can suck my dick lmfaoooo

yeah i knew that was coming but anyway they didnt say epic i just cant remember how posts were then it was like 2012 or something

based

animals are our friends
we should love and care for them

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was reallt drunk at a club and told a chick i was retarded
another time a chick was in the line with a chick from school because she was a friend of a friend and she asked me to tie her shoe and i told her to fuck off but then kept doing and refused multiple times

Zoomers

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