The fuck is a Seventh-Day Adventist?

Does your country have these?

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What am I reading?

>All these meme and fucked up denominations
I dont understand?? Is normal christianity not good enough for americans?

Proddies won't stop until they destroy Christianity.

>implying anything normal is good enough for mutts

More sects. MOOOOOORRRRREEE!!!!!!

It's the church that thinks masturbation is wrong and cause of all disease, they're literally the reason why circumcision is such a big thing in America.

>christianity
>normal
yep nothing more normal than praying to a dead jew on a stick.

Europe did the same thing with Lutherans, Calvinists, Anglicans, Catholics, Quakers, Orthodox, puritanism, etc., and naseum.
America did it too but by coincidence it happened mostly during both the industrial revolution and a period in time where healthy lifestyles were wildly popular (this period would lead to prohibition for example). So America ended up with a handful of denominations, some of which incorporated healthy lifestyles as a part of the religion, like seventh-day adventists and mormons.

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Protestantism is a mental disorder

Seventh-Day Adventists believe that worshiping on Sunday is Satanic and that Christians should worship on Saturday like the Jews do.

Also I think they share Mormons' weird hangups about sex and alcohol and caffeine.

Yes about 5000 of them. Protestants will separate from their church at the slightest provocation unlike Catholics who continue to worship the pope no matter what happens.

Kellogg was an Adventist, SDA separated from them

Edgy
But most of europe still remained catholic/orthodox and didnt descend into chaotic denominations of protestantism with weird shit like mormonism(considers a book made in 1700s or 1800s holy WTF)

Back when I saw in uni I found this book lying around for people to find. tl;dr it warns that the government, run by the antichrist pope and the Catholic Church, is going to enact a law requiring all Americans to worship on Sunday instead of Saturday. This would be the Mark Of The Beast and result in the Illuminati's New World Order etc. etc. etc.

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What healthy lifestyle? Circumcision?

Mormons litteraly believe their founder found a book written by Christ himself burried in a field lmao

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>heathy lifestyle
>mfw doing sports and eating healthy makes you part of a sect in burgerstan

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Mormonism was a direct result of the schisms among European denominations. Joseph Smith was tired of not knowing which church was correct and which to join, so he prayed and, depending on whether you are Mormon or not, his prayers were either answered by God and the true church of christ was restored or he invented s religion that incorporated some of the better parts of multiple denominations as well as ancient Judaism.
Seventh Day Adventism was much the same as were Jehova's Witnesses.

SDAs in Loma Linda, California are the healthiest people in the entire country. They're one of five "blue zones" worldwide that have an unusually high number of people living past 100.

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No, they won't drink addictive substances like caffeine in coffee, tea, or dark pop. They don't use tobacco, they promote a healthy lifestyle (a gym and court is found in almost every church), they don't do anything that harms their "temple" like drugs, or often even eating too much, etc.
SDA members are very often vegetarians as well.

t. worships a dead jew on a stick

Nah, it was "written" by some "jew", whose people came to America during ancient times. Amerindians are jews that lost their ways and history and turned dark as a divine punishment. After Jesus died, he came to America and spoke " amazing things" before leaving Earth for good.

Smith was a succesful conman that wanted money and licence to fuck anyone, like many modern cult leaders.

Americans have been importing these here and I hate it

Edgy Varg-worshiper

why the FUCK are these fags in canada too?

That sounds like a schizoid thing. Honestly, just what the fuck is wrong with protestantism
>Hehhehehehe dead jew on a stick ohoohohooh Hahavwvwnana
I'd cave your skull in if I ever met you disgusting cunt.

Because everything west of Québec is actually America

seventh day Adventists are the best and biggest shitposters in America, they literally shitposted so hard we all chopped our dicks off and shut down government offices on sarurdays. don't smack talk them

a lot of the weird denominations came here from other countries that understood how stupid they were
messianic Judaism is my favorite, they're so delusional theyre literally offended by the word christianity

God I hope not. But apparently the number of weird burger televangelicals is growing, I wish this country would stop vehemently sucking off burgers while pretending to be oh so superior. Everything retarded they do we adapt after 2 years

based

They're basically evangelicals except they think Saturday is the Sabbath because that's the day God rested on. They're also into apocalypticism and think the world is going to end every year, then make up some bullshit when it doesn't to protect their cognitive dissonance.

Americans didn't invent con-men that prey on the weak and desperate and the first mass radio "tele"vangelists were Cstholics and Lutherans. The first actual televangelist was Canadian.
Americans don't invent anything, the just take ideas from other places and do them louder.

It's all the same brand of stupid, whether or not it's a zombie Jew from thousands of years ago or the modernish reincarnation of a zombie Jew wielding a golden book instead of a flaming sword.
The idea that some christfags things their morally bankrupt bullshit is more correct than another would be just pathetic if it didn't have such a violent history.

>I'd cave your skull in if I ever met you disgusting cunt.
You Abrahamicfags really are morally bankrupt scum. Hurry the fuck up and die out.