What would you do if you suddenly woke up as a russian

Gosh I wish I woke up in Russia.

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Holy shit it happened.

Drink vodka sex Russian woman and get aids and ccommit suicide

yell at my mom because we're too poor to afford actual meat in our kholodets

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You're not cute

hi everyone who's 5th day on Krokodil

Squat on a khazar

just vore your granny, fagg~

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feels bad man

I'd get a qt russian gf to procreate with. After that i'd go get some vodka to to drink with my best friend Dimitri. At last i'd go to the closest foresto to hunt some bear in order to have something for dinner.

I'd be amused for a week and then be saddened after realizing that it's a shitshow

World's a shitshow bud, just because your cunt's comfy doesn't mean you're not gonna die soon

is family important to bydlo

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I'd get out of my bed, brush my teeth, have a shave and a shower, thank my wife for making me breakfast and then consume it, then I'd say goodbye to her with a kiss. I'd trek out of my commieblock apartment and over to my VAZ-2101 where I would get inside and start the engine. Then I'd proceed to drive to the local store and purchase several of the biggest bottle of vodka they have. I'd drink the vodka whilst sitting in my car outside the store and then begin my journey to work at the local foundry. After arriving at the foundry and only managing to hit 1 person and 3 cats on my way there I would exit my trusty russian shitbox and do a shift at the foundry. After a long days toil I'd drive home, slightly sober from not having drunk for a few hours, I'd then head back to the local store, buy more vodka, drive home, trek from my car to my apartment, drink all the vodka, beat my wife in drunken fury, and then have wild sex with her, shortly after that I'd brush my teeth and fall asleep next to her.

Yes, and not only to me, it's important to not-bydlo as well.

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comfy wholesome rossiya

i.4cdn.org/wsg/1567555321622.webm

depends where I wake up
tatarstan, tuva, and altai seem pretty decent

the first woman looks identical to my mom wtf

immediately get a russian gf
top-tier of gfs

why you so obsessed with russian woman?

Jump off from that apartment.

They are hot AND cute. I envy u Vladimir.

be sad
produce world-class literature about that
get aids and die

>tries spitting on the camera
>actually hits it
damn bitch got aim

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Be a bit pissed off because I have to live in a shithole now

Put on my best tracksuit, hop in my 2101 and cruise for devoshkas.

There's no need to wait, roachbro

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Russian women are the last hope incels have of losing their virginities.

lol
metro exodus ultra settings

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I'm moving to Moscow soon. Tips? I speak some Russian and look somewhat Russian. I visited earlier this year.

Take off your shoes in peoples houses

Obviously. My family is from FSU.

avoid the police and be careful

>avoid the police
He's coming from America lmao

don't smile at strangers

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Stop memeing. That's dumb.
There's nothing wrong with smiling at strangers or cashiers and stuff, in fact it's good to do just like anywhere else.

Don’t jump if a gopnik asks

Understood. Do you think there is any serious danger living in Moscow as an American? Statistically Moscow's murder rate is pretty low.

In Moscow all the guys have the opposite of a smile when walking or riding the metro, but I learned to do it myself. :) But among friends or people with similar interests, I had a really great time in Moscow.

This thread is comical to someone who's actually been to Russia. And now centralsky st p or moscow doesn't count. Go outside those little 5km bubbles.

How do the city limits of Moscow (not Moscow oblast) compare with million+ cities in Russia?

>Do you think there is any serious danger living in Moscow as an American?
Not at all. I've met Burger expats here who have lived here for years and haven't had any problems.
Not sure what you're implying. Most of Moscow is nice even outside the center. And Russia has plenty cities that are way better than those two overpopulated ones.

>5km bubbles.
You mean like to VDNKH and MGU?

in america we do not have to bribe our police officers

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Please no.

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Have to? Wtf does that mean?
You don't HAVE to here either lol.
But sometimes you can if you want to get away with minors speeding or some shit. In America they just shoot you straight away.

forgot pic

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I bet you've never been outside Moscow, St. Petersburg and Kazan.

Hope I'm born churka so I can go back to Brazil and not die of heat stroke/sunburn.

Based police shooting nogs

I lived in Yekaterenburg for 5 years, been to Perm, Krasnodar, Nizhni, Sochi, Tyumen and lots of other places.

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Bзятки пpихoдитcя дaвaть нe тoлькo кoгдa тeбe yдoбнo, инoгдa тoвapищy пoлицeйcкoмy нyжнo кyпить жeнe пoдapoк, a зapплaтy oн пpoпил и тyт нa пoмoщь пpихoдишь ты.

И чтo oн пpихoдит и пpocит взяткy лoл?
B жизни c тaким нe cтaлкивaлcя. Этo для нeгo пиздeц кaк oпacнo.

St. Petersburg was very beautiful and the Russian women were gorgeous. Unfortunately also much poverty back in 2001. And people jogging half naked in the snow.

>And people jogging half naked in the snow.
And that's a good thing
>much poverty back in 2001
Things have changed

Kill myself

...

>Things have changed
Hopefully. At least Putin government put an end to the (((oligarchs))) plundering the country. Too bad the sanctions are still going on. Would be even better then

Sanctions aint shit.

Finland betrayed Europe and opened a cheese factory in Russia:
valio.com/articles/a-new-era-for-valio-in-russia/

so you know there are only three good cities in Russia

Post on Jow Forums. Oh wait...

Go to Mari El, speak Mari (or try to at least), leave.

Pretty much everyone in Europe tries to go around the US emposed sanctions. One way or the other

I'm surprised. With the introduction of sanctions, companies began to bring products to Belarus. Belarusians put the goods in a package with the inscription "made in Belarus" and sold to Russia. Goods became more expensive, but it helped to bypass sanctions.

Sounds comfy.

t

Would go to strip club в Mocквe and would eбaть soooo many cyкa’s

At first,
I would buy adidas jersey cigarette and liquor

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Get that free land in the east.

Celebrate I'm not in argayshitia anymore

>Argentina is so bad right now that even Russia is considered an improvement

Wow.