Is it possible to live a healthy life if you have borderline personality disorder?

>borderline
Dated a borderline chick once. Smashed on the first night. Lasted a week. I'd reckon building a business relationship network is nigh impossible for you crazy fucks.

she was also suicidal, self harming and had anorexia.

Been there. Dated a BPD bitch for 2.5 years and it was fucking exhausting. Mildly fun with certain aspects given she was bi-sexual and liked threesomes with her hot friends, but overall not worth it. I got my fair share of domestic violence from that bitch and grew tired of it after trying to help her too much, I tossed her ass.

Guys....if a woman ever tells you she has BPD, get the fuck out straight away, unless you know what you're getting into and are a crazy mother fucker.

Yes, I am on lithium and abilify

I'm a 30 year old male and made myself throw up for a good portion of my adult life. I've gained and lost 100 lbs 3 times over the past 10 years. I've abused steroids and just about every other drug.

The cheating is the hard part. I've cheated on every partner I've had but they have no clue. I'd do it after a fight and be so emotionally unstable that I'd just go fuck a chick at the bar or on tinder and then go back home like nothing happened. I've loved every person I have been with but I have been incapable of controlling my emotions. I'm very succesful with a 6 figure salary and good professional life. It's my relationships that always suffer. I get so emotionally out of control it literally destroys my partner mentally. I used to blame them for being inadequate but after dating a professional with the perfect body for nearly 1.5 years and doing the same thing to her I have realized I'm the problem. I never didn't love my partners, just any time I felt any sort of sexual or emotional rejection the emotional response was so intense the only way that would calm it was by cheating or drugs and alcohol.

I feel like I've ruined every woman who has ever loved me and up and until now I blamed it on her.

As a teen, I cut myself often and attempted suicide. Sometimes I feel so out of control of my own emotions I want to die but can never rationalize suicide as a solution. I can't believe I spent the last 10 years not knowing what borderline was.

Also a guy I knew hung himself and then I was told.he had borderline.
What is is it that makes you guys wanna kys? Like, you hate yourself or something?

I read a book on sociopathy and the author claimed that female bpd are just sociopaths exploiting the "can't control my emotions" card.

>What is is it that makes you guys wanna kys?
Uncontrollable emotional swings.

>take a bite of pizza
>joy beyond measure reaches me
>a second passses
>I have never been this sad
Think about this happening all day every day with everything you do or think about.

No, the inability to control emotions is like being in a personal hell. I value being sober and faithful to my partner, but you get so emotionally unstable and then regretful that you sacrifice your morals and values for activities that provide temporary relief. I can't tell you how many times I've been afraid of rejection and loneliness that I've gone on other dates just so I can be with someone before my ex partner does. I blow up irrationally over things that don't matter. I know they don't matter but they still bother me and the anxiety is so intense it feels like my chest is gonna explode. This is daily life.

being aware of the problem, or being self reflective might be key. maybe get a punchbag, so you beat it till exhaustion when you feel repulsive. i feel you user, everything sound so familiar.

And there is no medication that can fix it or?

At least y'all can rule out being NPCs.

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Interesting theory, definitely could have said this about my ex.

You can medicate these people or send them to therapy but nothing right now can truly help someone with BPD. Most like to self medicate but that itself causes problems 10x worse with their roller coaster shit

Though I've never felt this way about pizza, this is how relationships are for me.

Like be with a gorgeous woman, fuck yer brains out. She is smart, sexy, good paying job. She is the only person you will ever need in your life forever. You could see yourself loving and marrying her.

Next, she says she loves watching the Kardashians. All of the sudden she is disgusting. How could anyone like a TV show like that. The person you've invested your time and energy into enjoys something that you don't think is worthwhile. They aren't for you. They have let you down. They probably aren't into you anyways and are fucking 5 other guys and this bothers you to your core even though you were balls deep in another chick the other day.

That's what life is like for me. Like I said, I'm not diagnosed with BPD but this is an example of my life.

this might sound weird but maybe regular or normal life isn't your cup of tea. this sounds dumb because you've got a kid, i know.
i've made the experience of a very dramatic phase in my life which also was an adventure which i miss sometimes to be honest. this isn't supposed to be an essay on life but when i got grip on studies and work again i got quite bored. my actual relationship is really great (got no issues and no fears at all) but not to compare, i feel like i'm constantly underperforming on her because everything seems so mediocre. weird right.

So is this state on all the time or does it get better and worse.

For me, it's gotten worse with age.. so much to the point where I literally have ruined the perfect relationship with a woman who genuinely loved me and who I loved back. That's why I'm beginning to place blame on myself and figure out why I am the way I am.

Fuck you for that trigger. I don't think the love they experience is comparable to the feeling a more stable person has. I always had too much understanding and showed big codependent tendencies. You have to see her for what she is, the good AND the bad and she is fucking responsible for the bad as well. Don't you take the blame for that or make yourself in some fucked up way responsible for HER behavior, cause that's what I did. She loves you in some moments and absolutely hates you in other moments. She DOES NOT love you at all in those bad moments, it's completely wiped from her mind. I personally dont want to have a relationship with a person like that, though the sex is great and the few good phases are awesome.

I spent one year with a BPD girl. It was great in the beginning (love bombing), but the slightest trigger of her abandonment issues set her off to be emotional dynamite from then on.

>There are lots of meds, but its a puzzle because everyone reacts differently to them all.
Case in picture. This is me before and after olanzapine.

My relationship with my bpd ex ended when I tried to break up with her, so she stole her mother's phone and texted me to say that she had killed herself and that I was a horrible person - and after letting me sit on that for 3 days she called me and told me she did that to "teach me a lesson and not try to break up with her" - this all stemmed from a fight we had the weekend before when I cancelled some plans we had to spend time with my brother after he was diagnosed with cancer. Easily the worst person I ever met. I don't care about her "mental illness," I just hope that she dies painfully and slowly one day.

If a chick tells you she has bpd - just leave. Run. Never look back.

Ugh, I forgot pic then deleted the wrong post

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I did quite some research befor breaking up with my ex. The only thing that came up all the time was DBT and extensive therapy. Think a couple of years till you start noticing a difference

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dialectical_behavior_therapy

>If a chick tells you she has bpd
Can confirm, I lived with a guy who's gf had BPD, and she was so unreasonably unfaithful that she secretly asked me to knock her up so she could marry my roommate.

Absolute unit.

>DBT
don't you mean CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy)?

T...Thanks

Seek cognitive behavioral therapy. Do not accept antidepressants unless you are suffering from major depression and/or are actively parasuicidal.

If you're educated and want to self-treat (not the best idea, but possible), then buy a copy of Cognitive Behavioral Treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder by Marsha M. Linehan and the skills training manual that is the companion book. This is the book and theory you hope your cognitive behavioral therapist has committed to memory if they are trying to treat you for BPD.

Goodluck user, BPD is a rough ride in and of itself, but the real cluster is trying to get treatment when most psychs are charlatans at best and usually dangerously incompetent bullshit artists.

Have you checked the wiki link? It says DBT is mainly used for BPD treatment. I don't know about CBT, it might help as well

Motion is lotion - Gym, yoga, martial arts.

Diet - Eating well gets digested well with movement . Avacados and kale #1.

Remove your weak mind - your minds tell you no - but your boddyyy.

Pay attention to energy its important.

Finally - buy Sonm

>BPD gf thread
currently dating one.. she was worse before I met her, and she told me she was BPD. I don't wish i had never met her, not yet.. i was long distance with her for a year and now we've been about 6 months dating in person. she loves me beyond measure, and I'm just into her as a person. I dont really want to move in with her because Im not prepared to give my life to someone like that.

she used to self harm pretty badly and has attempted suicide years ago and still struggles with alcoholism. i was happy with her for a long time but Im getting to a point that I just want to be by myself now, but I'm just putting on a happy face for her sake because she's dealing with other problems and I don't want her to feel like the world is collapsing. but then it's like, there's never a good time, is there?

im thinking about telling her to just put less stock in our relationship. what i would like is for her to break up with me; i dont want to be the bad guy and I dont want to break her heart, but Im stringing her along because Im not capable of giving her what she wants in the long run.

what i feel like saying is to just start looking for other guys while she's in school, and that I wont be offended if shes flirty and stuff, and just to look for a new guy. thatll probably make her upset, but how else can i do it?

Dialectical Behavioral Therapy is a form of cognitive behavioral therapy partly championed by Marsha Linehan (the book I recommended in my other post.

It's the real deal.

Fuck I'm in the wrong place. I thought this thread was BiPolar Disorder (BPD) not Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).

What's the difference?
Effectively this. Whether they actually "can't control their emotions" or not, in practice there is little difference in how they act vs how a sociopath acts.

So explain the self harm to me? Whyyyy.

for my current girlfriend a lot of the time the self harm ended up as a control mechanism, people can not like what you do but you still have ultimate control of every movement as well as also not really feeling much in the time because in her case a lot of self harm was after she was intoxicated (and is often the case in general). it also comes from an irrational belief that you believe you deserve what youre doing to yourself

I only ever did it for attention, and consciously. Plus I never cut myself, I would just heat up silverware til it was red hot and push it into my skin. I haven't done that in about 12 years though.

hate & feelsbasically

Funny that also kinda goes for the male stories. Not judging anyone in this thread but to an outsider it could look like you just wanted to fuck a bunch of girls and do a bunch of drugs, then whine about the consequences. There is actually a type of thrill seeking sociopath who do feel regret after fucking a bunch of shit up, lost the link but was an interesting read.

You sound like me before the shit hit the fan and it got worse and worse. You will trigger her abandonment fears and it's all downhill from there. Do some research, the bpdlovedones subreddit actually helped me a lot. You saying that she is the same as you is also a classic symptom called "mirroring". In the beginning stages of the relationship she showers you with attention (lovebombing) and mirrors your behavior/hobbies. When you disappoint her once, she'll start mistrusting you and will never forgive you. That's when the lovebombing starts fading away.
You sound like a soft, kind hearted person and that's what bpds knowingly or unknowingly abuse.

Where normally one of the main tenets of sociopathy is a lack of remorse.

this user knows

This sounds alot like how sociopaths approach someone they want something from heh.

Yes though I do believe that many BPDs feel remorse. But if you're suffering from a body or a sociopath makes no big different. Just get the fuck out. In fact I think bpd might be even more dangerous, since the authentic remorse actually makes you believe that there is a chance for change.
THERE IS NOT

Yeah it sounds harsh. Nature is quite harsh.

Fucked a girl that had it, she genuinely was batshit crazy, tried killing herself multiple times, cant hold a steady job, shit relationships, the whole deal.

Im her lawyer nowadays and really dont like dealing with her, she never helps.

Brudder, take it from an expert on BPD.

Run. The. Fuck. Away.

Its hard because sometimes she seems okay (the psych term is called apparent competence) but she's not okay. This will be horrific for you over the long term. Cut ties, do not give into the abandonment clusterbomb you will set off in her psyche, and stay gone.

There's no having a healthy relationship with someone who has BPD unless you are dedicated to dealing with someone who has deep psychological issues that will do their best to drag you down with her sinking ship.

> inability to control
> not NPCs
hrm

By definition you shouldn't date anyone with BPD. You're signing on to date Patrick Bateman ffs, which sounds badass until you realise you're going to be tortured without mercy most of all.

Nope. Sociopaths and BPD etc are extreme NPCs actually, literal hollowed out husks. Just because they can appear lulzy from a distance when their warped scripts break down doesn't mean they're not a complete soulless automaton.

Man, I date a girl with depression and anxiety, although she does therapy and takes meds now that help some. But weirdly enough, she has a sister who's got bipolar amd schizophrenia and she's totally batshit crazy.

I definitely agree with most here, that for something like borderline personality on a girl, run away. The problem with many who have mental health issues is their refusal to get help. And bpd and bipolar are among the worst for avoiding help, it seems.

You’re me except the financial success and teen cutting bullshit.

I’m a little older than you and here is some advice: self awareness is a key, but you still have to use it and hold yourself accountable.

I haven’t done that all the time since I realized my issues and there is no lower low of self hatred, than knowing what kind of monster you can be and what your buttons are and then still succumbing to it. You literally don’t deserve to be happy and you know it in those moments.

>Whenever you shit your pants like a self hating retard, if it doesnt actually end your life, then it’s another chance to stop being a fucking demon.

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It’s hard-accept that you’ll have bad times sometimes and the anxiety will lessen.

and i thought i was fucked up...
anons you make my sociopathic ass look like a fucking normie

Nah you know you’re just as fucked up. But you are a sociopath. You probably lie about your net worth on anonymous threads and inflate other success in your life.

Not judging but the math is simple. I definitely identify with your disorder in some ways.

BPD, is sometimes congruent to sociopathy.

never felt the urge to lie anonymously
of course trolling is not a lie its art

Lel you have a roastie disorder

Bump

Oh hey I have that
So far: no.

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I don't suffer from BPD, but my ex had it. She was the first girl I ever had sex with and was also my first girlfriend for almost a year. I got addicted to Xanax and she looked down upon it. She was very motherly but stopped when she found out and completely gave up on me. You people are the worse when it matters

do any of you have or know someone diagnosed with borderline personality traits as opposed to disorder? how would you describe the difference? I know someone with traits and a lot of this sounds just like her except for the most extreme things

Go see a GOOD psychiatrist user. My mom’s a psychiatrist fwiw. Hope you get better..

rude
I actually feel American Psycho is a perfect exploration of BPD, especially if you interpret the murders as delusions or daydreams

I used to have a friend who does. Acts normal most of the time, but goes berserk on family and friends on the slightest disagreements and always needs to have everything his way. He became intolerable so I stopped talking to him.