>be at work >go to toilet >take a shit >someone else enters the communal toilet space >can't leave the toilet now because you don't want to have that awkward stare down at the sprinklers >someone else enters >does it ever end >they start talking >"ye this stall has been closed for ever LOL what is he doing" >don't make a fucking noise >eventually they both leave, flush toilet and door opens again >fuck fuck fuck >sit down again and wait until he is gone >been there for at least 15 minutes now
Go out and stare them dkre tly in the eye let them know you are the alfa wolf and shit smelly than any other puppy You have to be proud of everything you do even ypur shit or not gonna make it
Jacob Campbell
i do this. i don’t care about the staredown, but i don’t want coworkers to see me walk out of a stall and know that i just took a shit. that’s weird desu senpai. i have an immaculate reputation, i am pretty certain that coworkers see me as some sort of god amongst them, and i intent to keep it that way.
>woah have you seen user? >no, what about him? >he just came out of a stall, after taking a shit! >no fucking way! >i know right, i thought he was different... Kek.
You are in too deep shit now OP. Stay there all day or they will notice when you leave the bathroom or your desk is empty that you were the massive shitter.
Jace Sullivan
Make direct eye contact and shit on the floor in front of them.
That's how I feel, except its when I'm trying to vape in the bathroom.
Jackson Cruz
God fucking dammit I do this too. Not only that but if I've farted in there while someone else might have heard I'm definitely not going out. Also I'm paranoid someone will think I was just masturbating in there so there's even more cause for concern.
Juan Sullivan
this lol.
Chase Johnson
whats your problem, weirdo?!
Cooper Thomas
You're so fucking autistic OP, no wonder you don't get any pussy.
Jayden Rivera
Get over your autism and shit loud and be proud
Justin Ortiz
>work for RAC >allotted 12 minutes a month loo time >have to scan my card each time I need a piss break >if I go over the 12 minutes allotted time I'm docked pay
In current year I could actually imagine this quite well
Matthew James
this is the world we live in. just imagine it. if you actually wagecuck in an office maybe 20% of the people there actually think this way. they think that people see them as so god-like that being seen taking a shit would materially impact their future work relations. it's shocking to me that society hasn't collapsed yet. people with that degree of neuroticism and lack of self awareness shouldn't be anywhere near any kind of important responsibility
12 minutes PER MONTH? I spend more than 12 minutes in the toilet EVERY DAY. Hell, one shit takes longer than that. Do they give you a quota on toilet paper as well!?! Seriously, WTF?
Andrew Miller
>go to toilet >2 occupied stalls >take the urinal >2 other coworkers walk in >start shittalking each other >coworkers still shitting in the stalls join in >laughs all around >laughing echoes like crazy, entire floor can hear it >walk out >female coworkers all look at us pissed off Feels good to have chill coworkers, OP. Stop being such a god damn autist
Just wipe you ass off, flush the toilet, open the door, say hi to your frens, wash your hands and leave. it's so easy.
What the fuck is the problem with you autists? Nobody gives a fuck about you taking a shit, stop being all self conscious. People are NOT paying attention to you. Once you learn this you will stop worrying.
Seriously. You're body just squeezed every ounce of energy from the biomass you consumed yesterday and is discarding the waste so that it ready to go again. Be proud of that shit.
Grayson Gutierrez
me too don't want my coworkers to know that I just took a smelly shit one day I came out of stall, thought coast is clear, but one silent motherfucker came out of his stall too! god fucking damnit... I've panicked and rushed out of toilet, didn't even washed my hands...
Jacob Cooper
Declare your smell proudly!
Or just get up and leave. Faggot
Jayden Fisher
>12 minutes to take a shit
What the fuck man? If I go to the toilet I empty my bowels in 30 secs and wipe the next 30 sec maybe if I'm having a runny poo. You need to fiber up your diet man. Disgusting as fuck, you must have hemerroids.
Christopher Roberts
>taking a shit at work uh disgusting, i never took a shit at my workplace, i simply clamp my ass cheeks and wait for the evening once i can go home. And even at home i act like you do but at work, i often wait 3/4am to take a silent shit. I'm a lucky guy tho, with the time i learned to retain my shit longer and longer. Also i decided to skip breakfast and take very light meal (no desert, no entree) to generate less shit. Now i take a shit in average once a week. My personal best is 9 days without shitting. Tho i must be careful because they are enormous and super compressed so it's often a 3 step poop action. First i shit but try to not shit it all (1), then i flush. After i finish to take my shit(2), flush again, and finally wipe my ass (3) and do the final flush. If i do 1 & 2 or 2 & 3 at the same time, its the toilet clog guaranteed 100%. I don't think poop-normies can even encompass the size of 1 weeks' deuce. Usually it's the lenght of my arm. Also no homo but retaining compressed shit like this transform them in giant pooldo (dildo in poop) and it end up pressing the prostate after the 5th day, and it's legit better than hetero-sex. I never had anything up my ass but i can understand why the faggots would like it. Also i never admitted it to my gfs, i wonder if they would become jealous of my shits so i don't take the risk.
You will maybe think i'm a weirdo but i'm not. Just try to hold back your shit, you not only save water, get pleasure but you also save a shitload of TIME. Let say taking a shit is 5mn loss everytime, and that you shit everyday : 5x7 : 35mn weekly vs 5mn for me. 30mn per week, 2 hours per month, 1 day per year, you save a full month of your life after 30 years! It's enormous! Please tell me i'm not the only one doing dis frens.
If you need to shit at work or at a friends house .you have failed at life i have mastered to shit on demand when i get home and im standing all day aswell so you office fucks should be able to hold it in
No it's not, and it's not meant to be fun, this is my life ffs!
Levi Miller
M8 there is nothing better than shitting at work. Wtf you talking about??
Cameron Ortiz
you immature child, i shit like 20-45 minutes every morning in fact, the only time i shit at home is when im on vacation or i have the runs getting paid to shit is the best thing us wagefriends have to look forward to during mornings
this is the type of mental sickness and perverted behavior wagecucking will drive a person to. their greatest pleasure being able to "get back" at their employer by utilizing paid time to perform the lowest and most repulsive human bodily function. a small victory among thousands of daily defeats
Carter Nguyen
From the waist down, that looks like a crispy chicken tender...
Anthony Cook
Why everyone think it's a larp joke? I'm fucking dead serious. Should i take pics of my poops with a timestamp to prove it or what?
One thing I never understood Why are we supposed to wash our hands after taking a shit. It's not like shit gets on our hand, we use toilet paper for that. Why is that?
Bentley Cooper
This. Its better when they sing all drunk like
Carter Perry
i dont think i have ever shat at work and only once at school. I can shit on demand. I piss like a waterfall though
Carson Martinez
Fucking kek
Brandon Collins
>pants down to ankles Patrician
Wtf your pants literally touching toilet seat where piss and other dudes dicks have touched.
>be at work >sitting at desk >have hand under my shirt scratching stomach >door opens very loudly >panic and withdraw hand spastically >person walks by seeing me doing this with an anxious expression on my face >they frown
I hope they didn't think I was masturbating
Isaac Watson
In my 3 years of working, and 6 years in middle and high school, I have literally never shat outside my home or at relatives
I used to be like that I just started shitting wherever. It's just not worth it to hold in your farts and shit.
Levi Collins
My ass is so hairy that shitting in public toilets make it impossible to wipe off all the shit. Is much quicker and feels much more comfy just using the bidet at home
Leo Reed
I have a hairy ass too. What I do is get paper towels from sink before going into the stall. Soak them in water and add soap. Gives you a fairly good clean
Shave it you fucking bears. >not enjoying the rimming of a professional woman's tongue who spoke down to people all day only to be objected to the prostate's tingle
Jaxon Williams
Trust me, noboby cares about you and your shit.
I usually take a shit whenever I want to. It is not good to HODL shit.
Ryder Barnes
no gf anyway. Plus I don't know how to trim it and don't want to get cut.
I've had people look over the stall. you best believe people care about your shit
Jeremiah Ortiz
When I wet it, it just gets stuck in my ass and gets even messier
Charles Watson
Use the beard trimmer on an electric razor.
Evan Adams
>drop off check at bank inside fancy 20 story building >have to take a dump >avoid the peasant toilets on the first floor >take elevator upstairs and get off at random floor >find bathroom but wtf it's locked >keep walking until i walk into a mail room realize the whole floor is a law practice and everyone is watching me >get the escape pod and press the button for lobby >security waiting for me >"YOU CAN'T GO UP THERE" >"s-sorry"
>Have to take a shit at work >change street side Westerners can't into fecal culture
Lucas Lee
Better than my morning
>5 hours of sleep >have to drive 20 miles in socal traffic to office in 30 minutes >make a coffee, eat microwave burrito >go back to room >feel a fat rip coming >let her pop >feel splatter >literally projectile shit into my underwear, down my leg, onto the floor >shower, dressed, cover it up >go to work
>tfw forgot I have to go home to that before I read this thread
Holy fuck imagine being this big of an anally fixated & repressed beta. I have something to tell you guys, you are exhibiting a tell-tale sign of LITERAL homosexuality
Hope you never go to jail, there are no stalls, just shitters out in the open.
Carter Perez
i think you are projecting
Austin Bell
did you just learn that word today? you aren't using it properly
Hunter Phillips
>being so fucking autistic that you can't even shit in a toilet >for some weird reason will only come out when no one is within a 200 yard radius of you like a fox or raccoon or some shit
Yet, you get hired. The fuck is wrong with you?
Blake Robinson
>his wageslave job doesn't even have a private bathroom. Pathetic.
>work in a office >when need to take a shit I walk downstairs to the disabled people toilet >toilet is almost same as normal toilet but you have more room >undress completely (only keep socks on) >put toilet paper on seat >fold toiletpaper in between my legs and put penis on it so he is comfy
after I‘m done shitting and cleaning my ass very very carefully I perform a small dance, dance is probably the wrong word but I do a 360 spin on my sole and then move my hips left then right and then do the Terminator when he comes out of the time machine then I get dressed again
This is how females think, you know that right? Females hate it when you're aware of them farting or shitting, they only pee. Some of them won't even consume food around men. You are a bitch. Nobody thinks you're a god, you're deluded and constipated you stupid cuck.
>sitting in your wagebox, butthole throbbing fighting against a log-turd but nooooooo!!1 i dont want any1 see me poop :(((((
Your ancestors built civilizations and explored the world, you can't even shit in a toilet. Off yourself. I bet you're white.
Robert Moore
It's a superstars, mate, they've been around since 80s
Xavier Martin
Don't post this pic ever again, newfag It can give people some unpleasant flashbacks
Dylan Thomas
This whole thread is gold. I miss posts like this. Jow Forums used to be like 90% posts like this. Nostalgic kek.
Brayden Hernandez
autism.
Jonathan Diaz
I would do anything for a bathroom at work that had walls like that
it's your fault for not supergluing your asshole at job like a normal, decent person, kek
Juan Kelly
>tfw go to the bathroom for 5-10 minutes between breaks which becomes my break between my breaks >Mexican dude watches me do this every day and always gives me a disgruntled stare but never says anything
Low level wagecuck feels. If I had a comfy desk and didn't work in a warehouse I probably wouldn't even be a bathroom slave.
Nathan Hughes
kek
Kayden Russell
I'm aroused by this and I think it's a new low for me.
Christopher King
that's what wagecucking in the office environment does to you
