HR Specialist AMA- Hiring/Firing/Promotion/Affirmative Action Etc

What if I have a medical note from my doctor's office? Also am I correct in understanding that diversity quotas mostly just care about hiring women and brown people, and that discriminating against disabilities is fair game?

Im Young and lack "experience" but am a high performer according to my manager but I produce more and know more than people who make more than me because they have "experience". It just seems like a waiting game in order to make more money. think of it like this, pay all the players in the nfl based off how old they are, not how they perform

The longer it takes the less likely you're in. Typically we'll contact our first choice the day following the last interview we conduct. We keep the rest of the applicants waiting because there's always a chance our first choice declines the offer. Each offer we extend comes with it additional time for the applicant to make a decision and get back to us. I've seen instances where our top three all decline and a month or two later we extend an offer to applicant number four.

What would happen if a coworker stole my phone and discovered I have thousands of pictures of little girls on there because I spend all day saving images from pintrest instead of working?

Bribed by whom exactly? An applicant? Never

>By when exactly?
By whomever is putting the funds in your account

Nah they hire in bulk where I applied.
Could be that I'm in but going to look elsewhere doe.

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We'll always bring in minority applicants for an interview. A minority applicant that's middle of the pack will get an interview over many more qualified white applicants. From there it really depends on how they present. If they're present equal with their non-minority counterparts, they'll be hired every single time.

Follow up question:

What does doing this accomplish?

Das raysis

Sadly, disability hires are so risky. In my experience each functional group of a company will always have their one 'token' disability employee. Little is expected of them and they serve literally as a statistic. Women and brown people are beloved because the company gets to endlessly brag about their diverse company.

Okay, so then how do I go about building a lawsuit for hiring discrimination? Legitimate question since I have no other way of financially supporting myself?

You’re doing it wrong

Sad reality is this: You don't receive pay bumps (dramatic) while at a single company. The big jumps you make come from changing jobs. You're a slave to a multiplier of your starting pay from year to year (1 * 1.05). If you're really a stud I'd suggest securing another job and leveraging that offer for a pay raise. Climbing the ladder is corporate life.

work phone or private phone?

This as in what? Bringing in brown people?

How does hiring less qualified women and brown people make your employer a more profitable company?

Are you interviewing and failing to land jobs? Or are you not getting called for interviews?

this. Play the game. Never stop looking for new jobs.
If you're remotely worth anything, the new company will offer ~10-20% more, then your company will match it or exceed it a small amount, then the new company might bump theirs up another couple thousand.

I went from 50k to 85k like that

It doesn't. It gives EEO status and protects from discrimination lawsuits. Brown people and women literally get away with murder within a company, they're almost impossible to fire.

I am getting interviews but they ask about what I have been doing for the last year and why I am wearing sunglasses. When I tell them they get visibly flustered. I have even had a few ask me follow up questions about my health.

>Want the truth?
not really who cares about hr anyhow?

Private phone.

As a sort of inverse to this question, what if I had health problems that caused me to NEET for a couple years out of high school but then put in a good college career and concurrent workload?

Would it just be better to lie and make up some work history then?

HR will fire you. HR use dirty tricks to build a case to justly fire folks.

Looking over your resume it seems that vision is an integral part of what you do, no?

Companies are only required to make 'reasonable accommodations' for those with disabilities. Can you still perform integral functions of the jobs your applying for?

Did they tell on you?

Report them to HR for theft. Preemptive strikes are always best.

>HR will fire you
>implying i'm not self-employed

kys asap

I have 20/20 central vision and I explicitly tell them that the condition does not affect my ability to performthe job duties. I have a note from my doctor saying the same thing.

This shouldn't be an issue. Has it been a problem in your job search? I'd make-up some history for sure - Restaurant experience is probably your best bet. College through present is what matters from my perspective.

Who cares?

You cared enough to reply

HR are literally the scum of the earth.

Are you white?

How does it feel operating as a functionary for the decline of your own people?

Curating content on pornhub dot com doesn't count as being self employed.

For real though, good for you. Corporate employment is cancer

>HR are literally the scum of the earth.
Mostly agree
>Are you white?
100p Anglo
>How does it feel operating as a functionary for the decline of your own people?
Terrible at times. Believe me I do what I can for my HuWhites

>refuse to give raises because of meme reasons
>hire unqualified brown people
>filter out qualified disabled people
>admit to playing dirty to fire people you don't like
As it would turn out, a lot of people care. Your field is absolute cancer.

If you know some programming you can be self employed software dev.

It might be hard to get into though

I haven't looked for a job in field yet, still in college. But my professor who has connections always grills me on it.

Do you verify history for old shit tier jobs?

I'm talking about what I've seen, not what I do.

HR is cancer but it's unfortunately become a major part of every large firm. We're not all down with the globo homo

what's the best way to leverage one's position in a company to get a substantial raise without leaving?

find dirty on the boss and black mail him/her

How do I get a job in HR? I'm studying a mix of languages/economics/management right now.

I've never seen it. I can't picture anybody calling some shit tier Applebee's to ask if you've ever worked there. I may not advise even including such employment. I'd stick to work experience you have during college if nothing is relevant.

You can always pretend your just another college grad, unless you look way too old to pass as 23.

You'd need another offer and the key is to actually be prepared to walk if you're not given the raise you're requesting.
Seen it a million times, procedures are in place and it won't work

A majority of HR departments are comprised of two sorts of people:
1. Hot females with general business degrees
2. People that started with the company and found the work was not for them, then internally transferred to HR

What am I supposed to do?

Record audio of interviews.

Unfortunately it will be hard to prove that you're not getting jobs because of disability and not for some other reason that they'll easily be able to invent.

literally getting this butthurt over your own LARP lmao

How do I even just get a regular job? FFS, it shouldn't be this hard. Does my resume at least look good?

try asking someone who isn't a clear case of LARP on an indonesian comic book forum

Yeah I'm the butthurt one

If I have a three-digit IQ, do I have any hope of getting a job in HR?

Sniff glue

best advice in the thread regardless of context

Any advice for recent STEM recent grads? Masters in EEE but no real job experience.

resume is bland, use a template out of office that isn't too over the top but sets it apart. don't like the github in the desc just put it as a resource somewhere along with possibly your linkedin and homepage/portfolio. don't list gpa, put available upon request for references so it gives them a reason to have more contact with you, bullet points are too specific write something with a general overview of what you did and relate that to skills that would be applicable to any position or business. awards, certifications, and technical skills should be at the bottom. you're also missing a physical address so I don't know if you'd need to relocate (expecting relocation package), some people like hiring locally or if there's multiple locations open know which office you'd be working in from looking at resume. There's more nitpicky stuff I could point out if you wanted but this would be where I'd start

I see you have github at the top, take the random link out of the desc, allude to it if you want so they have a reason to go to your github, looks out of place otherwise.

We all know this and it's still infuriating to hear.

Honestly, start applying in the government sector. The government is much more open to hiring people with disabilities.

what the fuck are you on about

I am not lke biz, been doing stock markets since 2014, did everything, lost years of my life sleeping 3 hours each day.
Organized a fund for my uncle with 95% returns now since 2016, only stocks, few etfs, around 90 companies. Dig up lots of hidden gems, bought tesla 20 cents more than german 52week all time low, canopy growth for 1.80 (now 45 usd) etc etc. lots of edgy companies / videogame companies, nothing your usual ‚financial analyst‘ knows shit about.
I‘m not rich, i am a audio engineer and dj in real life, any guy you know who could be interested in me? the guys at my bank roll out the red carpet even if my account is negative sometimes as they know what I did stocks-wise, but that’s about it. They are not flexible enough as I have no formal education in that department and I wouldn‘t want to work for them anyway. Anything interesting out there? If ever I could proof any trade i did.

STEM is tough, extremely crowded with chinks and pajeets.

Best advice for any recent grad is to use your network. Any resume received via employee reference automatically gets a look. Most resume's received via job postings never see human eyes.

Your written English is third-world.

Need at least four-digits

Imagine how I feel being completely surrounded by it.

this

whatever man...

i'm stoned user, wrote from my handy, regards from germany

This is all you see? You are an amateur, same as your dense boomer friends.

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10 years after I failed collage, never had any real job. Mostly worked at farm with family. but also tried doing startup with friends and freelancing - both failed miserably and for very stupid reasons. Just want simple entry level job in IT, yesterday I found this one QA job that only requires basic computer skills and willingness to learn. I fell that any question about experience will only bring about my past failures... do I just say I got interested in this stuff recently without mentioning anything?

Is company posting the same junior job over and over for months a bad sign?

What do hiring people want to see on a resume?

What is the best catch phrases you say in an interview to land the job?

When you are under-qualified for a job type, yet still apply and land the interview, what would make them hire you despite the lack of qualifications?

What is the make or break aesthetic for resume building, outside of specific information listed?

What are good categories to list on the resume to ensure an interview? Such as, work history, education, personal mission etc.

How much fact checking is done for information listed on the resume typically?

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2 digit only

Can I get your job with a Biz Admin degree? How did you get started?

>What do hiring people want to see on a resume?
skillz

>What is the best catch phrases you say in an interview to land the job?
I'll do anything for money
>When you are under-qualified for a job type, yet still apply and land the interview, what would make them hire you despite the lack of qualifications?
skin color
>What is the make or break aesthetic for resume building, outside of specific information listed?
gift card codes as bribes near the top
>What are good categories to list on the resume to ensure an interview? Such as, work history, education, personal mission etc.
criminal history
>How much fact checking is done for information listed on the resume typically?
none

every place asks for a criminal record... wtf do I do if i have assault from smackin somebody in college?

honestly starting your own business, providing professional or trade services only costs you time after you picked up a few clients. cold calling will eventually work, there's businesses no one else wants to work with out there (we've dropped clients plenty o' times for not being wortth the effort); finding those is a good place to start and expand your contacts

if you don't want to do something like that you kind of have to find criminal (or felon) friendly places for shit jobs. blows for a stupid mistake you've probably learned your lesson from but that's the reality

OP i basically got fired from my job like 6 months ago and have no idea how to tell people im interviewing with what happened.

before i was let go, i found out that they were basically screwing me over when it came to my salary. was getting paid 50% less than everyone else doing my job because i was too much of a bitch to negotiate my salary when i started, and just took the first offer. so what i did was i threatened to quit on the spot if i didnt get a raise right then and there and they only met me half way. i took that like a bitch too and became extremely depressed during that time due to wagecucking, personal problems, and crypto crashing, and it became very clear to my employer that i was depressed and not reliable anymore.

then they started interviewing people for my role and told me they were "expanding my department" and i told my boss im not an idiot, and i know theyre looking to replace me.

the next week they pulled me into the big office and said its clear youre not happy here, so today will be your last day working here so you can find something you actually like. then they gave me some severance pay and told me to gtfo. they never actually used the word "fired" though.

can i say i got laid off? or quit?

you're putting way too much on your resume. Shorten in, stick to two or three words to describe things. don't put shit like your GPA on there or your github unless its impressive. Also don't put your references on there. you can give them references later if they ask for it.

Also your experience section is bunch of bullshit that employers won't care about. All the stuff you listed is cool but doesn't really say much about your value to the employer. Getting rewards in some competition (which they have no idea how much work you even did) doesn't mean jack shit on the open market. You should use those experiences in your interviews to show you can be a team player and impress them with your technical knowledge, not just flaunt them around like some dirty whore.

finally the order of the information is all wrong. you want your relevant skills at the top: because that's what the employer will care about most. Nobody will care about your competitions (like I said above) and certifications aren't THAT important unless you have a lot of them that are relevant to the job. I have like 6 certifications that I don't even put on my resume because they don't fucking matter. If they're relevant list them with education, which should be near the TOP, not the bottom, of the resume. Put technical skills at top because it will tell employers you can do the job, then put education underneath as it will tell employers you're qualified for the job. Then you put employment history Since you've never had a job, you're not gonna have any experience, so list projects you worked on (as you've done) BUUUUT instead of just blindly listing what the projects were about and bragging about how you placed list the shit you've learned from those projects that will be an asset like team work and dedication and leadership and shit. THAT'S what employers want to see in an experience section.

never been asked this but gf had at morgan

>What do hiring people want to see on a resume?
Whatever they put in the job listing since that's what the HR people are going to be looking for.

>What is the best catch phrases you say in an interview to land the job?
team work, leadership, customer service

>When you are under-qualified for a job type, yet still apply and land the interview, what would make them hire you despite the lack of qualifications?
have a good answer when they ask you why would you be a good fit for the job.

>What is the make or break aesthetic for resume building, outside of specific information listed?
Short and concise. Don't waste people's time with a bunch of bullshit they don't care about just because you think it makes you look smart. They really don't care.

>What are good categories to list on the resume to ensure an interview? Such as, work history, education, personal mission etc.
Skills, Education, Employment History, in that order. You can add an "objectives" section too but I think that's a waste of everyone's time. You really don't want a lot on there.

>How much fact checking is done for information listed on the resume typically?
Depends on the information. If you lie about working somewhere be prepared to have someone with a phone ready to pick up and lie for you because background checks will make sure you really worked there.

Never lie about where you've lived, that's public information and they WILL find our if you lie, and don't lie about criminal convictions when they ask because that will show up as well.

Education is also a bad idea to lie about since that can be verified too. Really the only thing you can lie about relatively safely is certifications but that might backfire too. Obviously if you lie about skills then they're gonna find out when you can't do the job.

if only they were hot...

you're best off just being honest about it at the forefront and explain that you were young and made a stupid mistake that you regret. don't put it on your resume or anything but you have to be honest about it because that's the first thing that will pop up in a background check.

don't worry about failed start ups. you're not applying for a CEO position. Most start ups fail and you're employer will understand that.

I recently got a IT helpdesk job and I already regret it and want to get out because the pay is only $11/hr and all the management are brown women. Like if it where 50/50 women thatd at least be statistically plausible. My question is how long should I stay, if i leave to soon will it wreck my employment history since managers dont liek to hire job hoppers?

Your service doesn't go unappreciated.

Thank you

What's a smooth way to ask a company which company they use for background checks before applying? This is mainly for expungement fags.

If you're white apply to states that don't allow employers to ask about criminal background.

Just so you know OP you are fucking scum.

So your power tripping low IQ garbage?
Got it.

I'm starting over in a finance firm after being a chemist for 4 years. I'm a phone jockey gunning for analyst. I got them to agree to pay for my CFA for when I pass the first exam.

After I pass, should I try to move laterally in the firm to an analyst position or gun for an analyst position in a different company?

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Why are so many overweight middle aged women drawn to HR?