"Oi user, how come you still live with yer mum and I've got this car, fit missus...

>"Oi user, how come you still live with yer mum and I've got this car, fit missus, and new house when you were so smart at school and teacher's pet? Haha, nah, just jokes mate, good to see ye. Ya want a lift in to town? ["N-no thanks, Jack..."] Ya sure? Are ya goin' to a job interview or somethin'? Oh that company? Rachel is an assistant HR manager there! Hen, do they hire boring speccys for that position?"
>*Rachel, laughing for a second and grinning condescendingly at you* "Aw, that's so mean! Just be confident with the manager Danon!"

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Cars on tick, new build cuckbox on tick, clothes on tick, phone on tick, tooth whitening on tick, haircut on tick, colour co-ordinated tracksuit-rang rover on tick, sunbed membership on tick, slags bad dye job on tick

why are you role playing with Geordie Shore people?

Did Gary neck your bird in toon?

>dat clownface girlfriend

SHE GOT A FAT BOOTY THO

Why is she showing off $40 shoes?

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Oi does he have a loicense for that slag

Jack, you slaaaag, Tiny told me to tell you that the first repayments is due Friday, or it's your kneecaps.

This places gets weirder every fucking day mate

lol if this shit happened to me IRL i'd laugh and walk away before he even finishes what he has to say..

Jokes aside, Chads are usually pretty nice guys

its not fat, its silicon and nasty looking.

For real, shit like the dialogue in the OP is just their way of being friendly

>Beats you up for being disrespectful

Your move m8

>its silicon
t.virgin

>feel life is in danger
>use gun to shoot him
Your move chad

fpbp

>You go to prison because everybody loved chad
>The Judges see pictures of him instantly feel empathy towards him
>Go to prison
>Cell mate was one of Chad's friends

WHAT DO YOU DO?!

i love to fight mate, let's go again.

You guys will become friends afterwards. FACT.

>Beats you up
if that can beat you up just kys

lol I don't doubt it haha.

try and write an interrupt routine faggot
learn to navigate memory with assembly you fucking Microsoft niggers

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>sorry judge you forgot to take a look at this evidence!
>play footage from bodycam from event
>clearly shows neanderthal Chad trying to kill me
>judge has to let me go
>go to Chad's gf to console her
>fuck Chad's gf
>don't pull out
>Chad's gf gets pregnant
>get the fuck out and leave her
>Chad's gf is a single mother and hits the wall
>roastie gets fat because she has to take care of my child
>chad's gf can't get another guy and becomes depressed
>Chad's gf commits suicide
>go to Chad's gf's funeral
>mfw
Feels good man

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think you missed the child support for the rest of your life part there bucko

I won't be marrying Chad's gf so I don't need to pay it.

don't have to marry to pay child support.

aussie made post
cool

Oh I'm sure all of the single black mothers are getting child support from their kid's deadbeat dad. Give me a break user

she looks literally disfigured

This. I've talked to a few chads and they are all charming and smooth. 5 minutes into talking with them and you start to see why roasties so eagerly open up their legs for them.

Correct way to approach this situation:

>"Oi oi Jack lad, nice fucking new motor mate. How many litres is the engine in that beast?"
>"You alright Rachel? You gonna sort me out with one of your mates for a cheeky Nandos date?"
>"Anyway yeah Jack mate, fucking hungover as fuck from Spoons last night lad. Saw some of your lads in there hammering shots before Ubering it to Yates. Top lads, quality banter. A lift to town would be sweet mate, watch out though I saw a camera van down the bypass on the bus like. Bastards. Kickin' about for a new job before the opening parties in Zante this summer. Working over there for the season innit so if you are over I'll sort you and the lads out with VIP entry n shit. How's fat Dazza doing these days? Absolute melt!"

based

cheeky nandos? dazza?

AUSFAG ALERT

get the rope

This just implies your also a deadbeat?