Accepted a senior level job offer I was extremely under qualified for

>accepted a senior level job offer I was extremely under qualified for
>regretting it

Everyone here things I’m some fraud who jewed their way in to a job with 0 experience. I can’t even ask for help because people expect me to be some genius when I’m not.

It’s a senior software dev role when I basically just have 6 months exp just by watching YouTube and coursera videos.

I admit I lied but I was desperate. I was getting nowhere spamming CVs to hundreds of entry level jobs.

What do I even do now Jow Forums?

Attached: 70C6C872-0297-45BF-B63A-8C139EF84FE4.jpg (200x200, 26K)

Suffer.

>What do I even do now Jow Forums?
give the work to your juniors and blame them when it goes wrong

this is actually like legitimately correct.

company programmers are like sheep.

they have some value, but they are completely incapable of understanding it or utilizing it themselves. they need someone to basically just tell them what to do.

you dont even need to know what youre doing, if someone asks you how to do something tell them they should look it up just tell them youre busy. look it up on wikipedia later just in case they ask again, and give a vague abstract definition that they cant actually ask questions about, repeatedly giving the same answer in different words.

OP what did they asked to you? to do what that you don't know?

Some adavanced stuff like, for example?

What's actually so hard about going to a good college and doing a few good internships?

I could even get any entry level UNPAID internships. Do you even know how many people apply? At least 200 PER opening. I couldn’t even compete REEEEE

fake your own death, it solves all problems

>He doesn't know how to read online Documentation .
Kek. Most programmers forget shit when they haven't used it in a long time but they'll never admit it. Just keep bullshitting.

ok this is ebic

I'm a programmer at a FAANG company and admit I forget old shit I haven't used in a while all the time. My co workers do as well but hate to think they dont have infinite memory space so it's jarring to them. Kek

i worked at youtube as a vendor and saw guys using google while they wrote code

don't do any work and milk that salary for as long as you can. once they're onto you for not doing shit complain about how retarded everything they do is and quit. put this senior job on your resume to get pay raise at new company.
repeat indefinitely

this guy fucks

fpbp, this is why my team only hires people with connections

there's a difference between googling old stuff and not knowing what you're doing at all though, like OP

Don't worry user, any good developer would be working for himself anyway. Anyone who works at a corporation is bad at what they do by definition -- including you. Just remember that corporations are poison and do not serve the greater good, therefore you are morally obligated to steal from the corporation by all means necessary. Have a nice day.

This. Delegate

based

capitalists btfo

this. fuck around until they fire you, then claim gibs.

WOW WHAT A BUNCH OF HACKS THEY SHOULD BE FIRED

Use this position, stay in it a while, learn how senior meetings go etc then eventually move company to a bigger and better paid role.

Fake it till you make it. Words to live by. Seriously.

You were brave outright lying about your abilities though lol. I've lied in interviews but only in stuff I could do or could back up (stole credit etc), but you took it a step further. It has paid off so far so keep going.

it's called imposter syndrome, just keep learning and labbing. Compensate with being friendly and accepting that we only human.

How is that res at Dorsia going?

Attached: AmerPsycho_042Pyxurz[1].jpg (1600x990, 122K)

this desu senpai

Attached: 1523310218819.jpg (640x633, 191K)

>Compensate with being friendly
This. Make sure you're on your Junior's good side. You don't want any of them to go above your head.

I would do this but theres this 6ft chad programmer whos starting to ask questions

Like this other day he asked me if I even knew how to use spark and hadoop. I just told him to get back to work and I was busy.

How did you lie your way in? I wanna lie about having a degree. Will just show projects and abilities. Do they ask you to show degree? Life is hard you did what you had to do. If I were you Id stay there as long as possible and learn both at work and home to improve myself. Gl

This

Try to survive at least 6m and you are gucci. Extremly good for your CV

is there any lore behind what he actually does and how he got there?

Had ton of jobs and job interviews and the degree is the last one they check.

HR checks and approves if your work experience is fake or not. They call your previous jobs etc.

You should hire some pajeet to do your job for you. Guaranteed to work.

So i already have a comp sci degree. but i never bothered with programming until when i was forced to apply for jobs after graduation.

Every entry level job requires 2-3 years experience and I was basically NEETing during that time.

So i started learning programming and 6 months later i am in this senior software dev job paying 70k a year plus bonus.

Half the time I don't even know what I am doing and I just google shit.

Attached: 54766853.jpg (293x350, 21K)

One sluts says his father owns the company in one scene.

Oh really? Interesting.
Would be the dream to have a job like this. Do nothing all day except looking important, taking a few phone calls, having business diners and hanging out with your ceo buddies.

How do you have a comp science degree and "never bothered with programming"?

It's like saying I got a math degree but never bothered with arithmatic

low iq post. wat are economies of scale

Dude just pay pajeets on freelancer sites to do the work. It'll be fine.

Fire his ass.

you're a senior so just delegate? are you THAT much of a brainlet?

Buy them doughnuts.

As a senior software dev you just need to delegate to junior positions and learn some corporate jargon, then buy your boss a nice bottle of whisky and a box of cigars and you will be promoted to a position that doesn't require any work whatsoever. you'll be running the company in no time.

Attached: trhrtjtrsj.jpg (580x495, 90K)

He's a VP in mergers and acquisitions, he went to harvard business school, his father owns the company.

Once I had a manager who was underqualified, I quit the job since she didn't leave me alone. So the moral of the story is, don't piss off or annoy your subordinates, become their best buddy. Also, deliveries in IT are always late, so no one cares if something takes longer.

I want to get into networking and security but I dont know how to prove myself without degree and experience outside of certificates. Programming is shit.
This is a golden chance just improve yourself and appear like a coding wizard to gain more time. Dont worry and make use of your opportunities. Look at me no degree 22y/o.

nice thx

>you lost your job
>she kept her managerial position, just had to do to someone else whatever she was doing to you
Boy you sure showed her

OP just use stack overflow for everything, I’ve had them write me so many VBA scripts to do my wagecuck shit it’s great. Just find some code that kind of does what you want, pretend you wrote it. Put it on stack overflow to pretend you made an attempt and let some autist do it for you. Man I can’t wait to lie my way into a six figure job, I’m a glorified help desk person for a healthcare company but as the only IT staff I oversee everything so I’ll have so much bullshit that sounds impressive to put on my resume for the next place. Only thing is they will call my job and find my lowly salary.

If I send an email to a potential employer I was introduced to, and they don't respond in like a week, should I send another or just wait/keep applying elsewhere

This is a no-brainer, farm out your work to freelancer pajeets on freelancer.com

Get paid by company, pay pajeets less to do work, profit the difference

Stop posting and go autistic on everything you need to learn for your job. Stop posting, go, go now.

give your tasks to some coding pajeet on fiverr
he'll do it for 5 bucks

>senior dev role
are you actually expected to do anything concrete? if not, gz, you've got it made.

I've had callbacks a month and a half later while already employed, keep sending them out but not to the same company twice.

What the fuck bitch nigguh? your porbably getting paid 100k embrace it and study and spend that money buying books and shit on the issue and study your ass off you have no free time now you have no social life get to work whiny bitch your probably fucking white you fucking pussy you got it fucking made

This. It's like some great humiliation for a senior dev to admit he uses google/Wiki/SO daily even though everyone does.

So I somehow managed to get a job interview for a junior php developer role at a web design agency(I dont care if you all think it's a shit job I need the money). The thing is I've actually only been learning programming for a few months, but its been mainly java, python and html. I just started learning php last night lol. The good thing is I've picked things up pretty quickly but honestly how fucked am I gonna be at this interview?

Attached: chihuahuachzx2_rw1i96.jpg (400x400, 62K)

Somewhat fucked unless you can finesse your way through the whole thing and the job

just keep google pulled up

Tbh I have no shame so I'd have no problem faking it until I make it or get fired. Sounds like fun

This is the wrong answer...get him promoted and away from you. Put in a good word with your bosses, and then tell bullshit a story, like you were a little stressed with the transition, but you are good now and he skills are being hindered where he is blah blah. Network and be friendly, he will forget about questioning your abilities for the most part.

tell him a bullshit story* Always have rapport with Chad, its just easier, be aware though he might be sociopath, but generally people understand reciprocity