>at work >have to take huge shit, Haven’t gone in days >turds pile up so high ends up breaking the plane of the toilet water >entire bathroom smells like shit >going on 20 minutes >*KNOCK KNOCK* user are you ok? >”y-yea” >go through half a roll of toilet paper to clean up >brace for moment of truth and flush >it all goes down >breathe a sigh of relief >open door and walk out, corner of my eye see the qt intern girl go in bathroom and hear her start gagging >run back to my work station and avoid her the rest of the day
Just flush multiple times as youre taking a shit. Thats what i do to avoid smells
Andrew Diaz
Quick tip user, as soon as the shit hits the water just flush quickly, this way the bathroom will not smell like shit that bad and you avoid clogging the toilet, then if you feel like you'll have to shit even more, just keep flushing everything as soon as it hits the water, wipe, trow the toilet paper in the toilet, flush, and bam, magic, everything goes smooth and no fucking gagging colleagues.
Sebastian Gomez
This is what u learn in jail
Eli Taylor
>long car trip as teen >shit backed up longer than VA traffic >finally stop at some mcdonalds >get into bathroom >wtf its not coming out >take 15 to min shit and cleanup >reeks like an indian street corner >feelsgoodman >leave bathroom with shit eating grin >line of fucking people outside >half look at me with disgust and contempt >thought this was funny >shit eating grin becomes turd guzzling visage >lock eyes with qt on line >fucking 10/10 >looks at me with disgust >feel like a fucking idiot finally >panic and quickly walk to car
The worst is when you are on a german toilet (I am on a daily basis) and you shit a long one, it comes out and comes out and reaches the bottom. Now you made contact and feel a little pressure back inside so you stand up just a little so the last centimetre can leave the bum safely and that's when it happens. Due to the slight forward motion when lifting your body the turd falls forward and touches your balls and tip of the dick. Now you literally have a shit strip on your tip and on your lower balls. I had that 3 times so far, gagged, felt like infected with AIDS and showered instantly for 30mins. That's life in the first world.
Still better than having shit and piss water splashed on your genitalia and rectum 80% of the time in normal toilets.
this. i always employ a wipe-flush-wipe-flush-wipe-flush strategy to avoid clogging. it's an absolute necessity at my work because the stupid modern toilets clog easily
my first ever quads and of course it's about taking a dump
Tyler Adams
Checked. Even though op is prob larping just imagining the toilet backing up and overflowing at work made me kek
Ryan Jenkins
You would think Germanfags would be able to engineer something better than this. But I'm glad they don't... cuz shit dick
Jayden Martin
Paul is it you
Jackson Lee
>taking a shit at work uh disgusting, i never took a shit at my workplace, i simply clamp my ass cheeks and wait for the evening once i can go home. And even at home i act like you do but at work, i often wait 3/4am to take a silent shit. I'm a lucky guy tho, with the time i learned to retain my shit longer and longer. Also i decided to skip breakfast and take very light meal (no desert, no entree) to generate less shit. Now i take a shit in average once a week. My personal best is 9 days without shitting. Tho i must be careful because they are enormous and super compressed so it's often a 3 step poop action. First i shit but try to not shit it all (1), then i flush. After i finish to take my shit(2), flush again, and finally wipe my ass (3) and do the final flush. If i do 1 & 2 or 2 & 3 at the same time, its the toilet clog guaranteed 100%. I don't think poop-normies can even encompass the size of 1 weeks' deuce. Usually it's the lenght of my arm. Also no homo but retaining compressed shit like this transform them in giant pooldo (dildo in poop) and it end up pressing the prostate after the 5th day, and it's legit better than hetero-sex. I never had anything up my ass but i can understand why the faggots would like it. Also i never admitted it to my gfs, i wonder if they would become jealous of my shits so i don't take the risk.
You will maybe think i'm a weirdo but i'm not. Just try to hold back your shit, you not only save water, get pleasure but you also save a shitload of TIME. Let say taking a shit is 5mn loss everytime, and that you shit everyday : 5x7 : 35mn weekly vs 5mn for me. 30mn per week, 2 hours per month, 1 day per year, you save a full month of your life after 30 years! It's enormous! Please tell me i'm not the only one doing dis frens.
>tfw shit my pants at work once >tfw had to wipe the shit off my underwear with toilet paper in the bathroom >went back to my desk and continued working >qt coworker that sits next to me didnt notice or say anything
as if women dont have to shit or smell i once interracted with literal 10/10 that had smelly farts, the once you get when you really, really need to shit they were delicious to me, but my first reaction when I felt them was - what the fuck?!
Jose Clark
>Still better than having shit and piss water splashed on your genitalia and rectum 80% of the time in normal toilets.
gotta say, i disagree with this. you just have to put enough paper in first to avoid splashing. you also have to be ready to put even more paper in quickly should it be necessary. i have an extremely long track record for avoiding such splashes now
>uh disgusting, i never took a shit at my workplace, i'm conflicted about taking dumps at work. it's disgusting, but i literally get paid to do it.
takes quite some time too, because i have this thing about not having any parts of my skin touch the toilet or anything else in the bathroom
Anthony Ross
Ever since I started waking up way before work I never had these problems as I just dump my logs shortly after waking up and getting coffee/breakfast. Takes a few days to adjust.
This is what mama used to tell me when I was 6. Thanks mama for this advice.
David Brown
dude, scoop your balls up before you stand, it shouldn't be that hard you just gotta adjust
Cooper Thomas
hello op i repeteadly have posted here when i actually clog the office toilet the pipes are terrible and i have this unlimited poop in and around my butthole when wiping so i use half a big roll of paper and it just clogs the shit out of it i was outed and openly ridiculed by coworkers and my boss some weeks ago for clogging the toilet first thing one morning i honestly feel bad for the three janitors that have come and gone during my two years because theyve unclogged it almost three times a month since my first day
Alexander Cox
>his office doesn't have segregated bathrooms No woman should ever work there, that's fucking gross.
Dylan Williams
disgusting parangis in this thread make their co-workers throw up with their intestinal gases and fecal fumes smear their penises with feces shit in their own pants and yet you still find the audacity to ridicule the true Aryan people of India for defecating in large, open air spaces
Oliver Rivera
pls see my post about flushing multiple times
Wyatt Morales
>attracted to young, female wageslaves >Dumb, vapid, uniteresting >But muh hot gurrl
Literally normie tier. You need to find a rich divorcee mummy whom you suckle from both physically and financially. This is the real Chad option. Obviously 90% of you idiots here are incompatible with that because yourselves are uninteresting, out of shape (sticks and lards), and come from low class backgrounds with low genetic quality.
How does it feel knowing that I run a barely profitable business doing what I love fully financed, and I get to go home and have dinner made and get a hand job while sucking on my cougar mummy's breasties? You guys are pathetic.
went to boarding school as a kid. Trained myself to shit on weekends only.
Angel Clark
Based. If you get up 30 min earlier and drink a big coffee right away you can almost always avoid this problem. Although, once in a while, I can't go and then I need to shit within an hour of arriving at work. This is the worst case scenario. Still it is worth the risk.
Mason Turner
Nice cope trashball. Chad finds himself a pretty young thing to own and pop kids out of, no exceptions.
we have this water saving toilet with a very shallow pool of water and the poo always sticks out over the top and stinks out the house
Jackson Gonzalez
>open door and walk out, corner of my eye see the qt intern girl go in bathroom and hear her start gagging
topkek
Levi Williams
I shit all over the toilet bowl, stick toilet paper on the seat, never flush i work at mcdonalds so they think it's customers Lmao unfortunately I always have to clean it up tho... not fun
Sebastian Parker
>get a hand job
I'm really seething with jealousy over here, "Chad"
Anyone else get really messy shits? Like i have to wipe at least 20 times to get rid of all the shit. Ends up getting all over my ass somehow. It might have something to do with me wiping standing up
Jaxon Martin
That why Poo-Pourri exists, fool. We use it at our office, and it can handle even my eggy onion-y shits. Works even than aerosol air freshener sprays.
I took such a massive shit at work I didn't even bother to flush it at first, I fishes out an old toiler paper roll from the garbage and broke the giant log into smaller, more manageable pieces. Then I took the shitty toilet paper roll and wrapped it in toiler paper to hide the shit and smell. Then I flushed and everything worked perfectly.
