>did really well at school, perfect grades, enjoyed my maths and science courses; started reading books for enjoyment at 17, so in retrospect I was at my peak intellectual growth rate relative to my age >went to nearest university instead of most prestigious one I could have entered (level of uni could have been much worse, but still nowhere near my potential) >did STEM degree I found boring as fuck (put no thought in to my subject choice) >ugly nofriends loser all through university; was insanely unhappy while surrounded by attractive normies in their primes >initially continued doing really well at university despite lacking interest in all courses but motivation eventually went off a cliff >realised mid-way through my degree that university prestige matters a lot for jobs and also correlates with course difficulty, so even if I got good grades it wouldn't mean much >my final few years were characterised by less than zero effort and huge amounts of procrastination as I did the absolute bare minimum and horrible work; it was also tough to emotionally come to terms with how much of an ugly loser I was all through university and how the "best period of my life" was ending; >found r9k and then the incel-blackpill mid-way through uni, which gave me a powerful framework for my utter social failure which hasn't been refuted (if I had ever had a social life at uni, or attention from women ever, that is the point at which I would have stopped being a cringey "nice guy", as a reference point) >regretted not doing Maths or Physics; the academic level of some of my university courses was pathetic and lowered my motivation further; in the UK you have zero course choice and your maths / physics courses are tarded up by becoming "Diff. Eq. for Biologists" and so on
>final few years also had me failing huge amounts of internship and then graduate job interviews due to at first awful, then merely below average, social skills >failed huge amounts of interviews with financial companies (to be in Canary Wharf or the City of London on one day, and then my dull, grey, shitty small town uni the next was crushing) >ironically, I failed the few interviews I had for jobs related to my subject probably even worse, because they wanted nothing but social skills >realised that normies go through life in normie filled institutions while being judged by normies based on normieness and I will probably never be successful; in all of my jobs I become the ugly loser autist nobody talks to within one day >barely graduate with an acceptable grade (2:1) >post university: no job, humiliating part time retailcuck jobs, semi-prestigious but low paid bureaucrat job in London that miraculously requires no work or time at the office (seriously, and I genuinely wonder if I am being observed as a basic income experiment subject), and will start an even more prestigious, higher paid, higher ranking but still zero skill bureaucrat job soon
I binged on KFC last night and my large rant post got zero responses.
I bought binge food today and had Ben and Jerry's and Doritos and chocolate and skittles. I had coffee as well. I think that will be the last binge for a long time.
I saw young people (17 to 22) and felt so jealous. I realised that my youth in the 00s to early 10s were humanity's and the culture's transition years. The youth of today arrived just in time to be fully adapted for the end of history. The males had zoomer haircuts. The girls all looked like they had fucked ten Chads last night.
I saw office workers who probably worked dull as fuck jobs and I realised how I am not mentally prepared for a full time job that requires me to give up my freedom.
>be me >be ugly beta 27 year old nofriends loser autist with no friends or social experiences since school, no attention from women ever, never been to a pub, club, or party, even through university >walked past a university today and saw literally tens of qts and Staceys in their primes >felt incredibly demoralised because I'm an eternal loser with no motivation in life and they'll always see me as an ugly loser >went through university as a loner loser >lifting did nothing, having a full time job did nothing >normies are all enjoying themselves and I've missed out on everything
I feel both sad and cheated out of having a life. The social world is a brutal Hobbesian place but I have to face non stop normie propaganda about why things are otherwise. The hopelessness and difficulty of an ugly male's life is never talked about. Every day at university was a huge moral struggle and it didn't help that I disliked my subject. It was a non stop party for everyone else.
I am unironically and unashamedly jealous of young people for being young. Saying anything else would be a false pretence.
I binged twice yesterday, including a large McDonalds binge at night (around 12 hours ago) but now I'll have one last small junk food binge before giving up junk food.
It's not like I can escape my social failure through work. Job interviews are nothing but tests of normieness.
you post so fucking often m8 and i don't even understand why. Yes you missed out on your youth, but only figuratively, i can promise you all these chad's and stacies are going to tend towards mediocrety and a quiet misery too.
The difference is you are getting older but you still see the same group as an age rather than people.
You still have potentially years of great life, you know how old brad pitt was in fight club? 36, fucking 36. You have time to change and improve your life, stop feeling sorry for yourself and come up with a plan.
Asher Ross
>dropped out at 15 mainly due to depression from shit home/abusive mum > youre a retard stop wasting time work at mcdonalds >A*A*A* a levels, never would have dreamed of it >go to mediocre uni (no confidence to apply anywhere else) >cut contact with the whore
I expect this is one of the most blatant examples in the uk. Making it right in a few weeks by applying to Cambridge part 3, but id be lying if I said I didn’t feel extreme jealousy talking to people who had a better shot at it
Well, you are the result from more than millions of variables.. if you want to compare to the "best possible scenario" you can also compare to the "worst possible scenario". That means you could also be dead right now for any randomical reason.
Also, many of you are deluded and live in a distorted buble from reality, you confuse above average IQ with geniality tier, you confuse above average mindset with sucessfull mindset and the list goes on.
You are here now, you choose that, you could turn your pc off, use it to lift until your arms go numb and tomorrow try something different.. yet you are here.. the text dont write itself by its own, its you making letter by letter and the captcha if you dont have 4 chan pass.
You are choosing to be this result, that means there is no reason to compare yourself with the best possible scenario as the only scenario you know is your actual one and you dont make nothing.
Yes, every children is a POSSIBLE Messiah, that doesnt mean every children turn into a Messiah.
This. Everyone thinks they are special but in reality very few are. Your ego won't let you accept you're just another nameless loser so you come up with this huge long cope story.
Asher Russell
No one has potential. Everyone has choices to make and you made bad ones. Start making good ones.
Luke Johnson
Tough life man, I seriously thought im some sort of genius while in high school. I were the "genius kid". I really despised the normie. Then I got into an elite STEM school and suddenly I were the normie.
Luke Sanders
Its not too fucking late, get the fuck up and start becoming who you can be
Asher Phillips
>checked the mail today >brazilian girlfriend still hasn't arrived
>get decent grades in highschool but don't try hard to get into an "elite school" >got into my hometown university for a STEM program which my parents paid for in its entirety >rather than make friends at uni, just use my old high school friends as a crutch >hated every minute of it and wanted to kill myself but fell for the "STEM is the only useful major" meme >kept dropping classes so it took me an extra 1.5 years to graduate >got no work experience and did no networking, hardly any of my peers or professors knew my name >graduated with mediocre grades, couldn't get a job in my field >worked part time at a grocery store for over a year after graduating and got Jow Forums, couldn't get even a single interview for a STEM job >parents want me out of their basement so I take a job as a spreadsheet monkey in some shitty little town and move away >still mooch off my parents for many of my bills and got them to help me buy a house
at least I stand to inherit their boomer wealth and I can probably retire and move to a 3rd world country in my 40s to be a NEET
Liam Bell
I never had potential. It's a wonder I finished high school.
Well my advice is to improve your situation as much as you can with hard work, but mooch as much as you can from your parents if they can afford it. Boomers ruined everything for us so now you need to make them your paypigs.
Jacob Rogers
The problem is that you have normie live expactations, stop comparing yourself to the others. Happiness = expectations - reality. Just make enough to survive and find a hobby, the rest will come.
Carter Bennett
>started reading for enjoyment at 17 OP, I STOPPED reading for enjoyment before that. I was very much like you. Then one day I opened my heart to Jesus Christ my Lord. Pray to Him and He will answer. My life has turned around significantly since I've asked God for help. >When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom. Proverbs 11:2
Jackson Watson
Life is SO harsh and distressing. Even for normies. You think the norime isn't locked in burtal competition for attention on their new shoes? He who can conjure up fantasy is like an oasis in the desert. Maybe you should embrace fantasy.
>K-4th grade, god of school, everyone worshiped me, most popular kid >5-8, slowly people started hating me, thinking I was annoying, childish >by 8th grade basically no friends, grades went of a cliff >high school, extreme social anxiety, 0 friends, "the weird guy" who sits alone at lunch >9th & 10th grade my grades were mostly Cs and Ds, get dropped out of "smart" classes >11th & 12th grade take "dumb" classes, get mostly Bs and As >get good ACT scores tho and get into good state school >Major in comp eng. in college, get over social anxiety a little but still awkward >8am calc fucks me, fail it, have to take it again >fail calc II, have to take it again >somehow still graduate in 4 years with a barely a C average, this was 2012 >get a job at some no name tech company, boss is fucking boomer as fuck >ride bosses coat tails to 2 different companies >make $180k/year now but still have zero friends, and basically incompetent at my job, boss just drags me along as he ascends the corporate ladder to make himself look better in comparison >lost over $100k on crypto
I'm a little opposite to you OP. I was a goof thats on his way to potential.
>always did average in school, C- was my average grade. >same as you, depressed, confused and angry during my high school and university years leading me to ostracize myself from normie relationships that could've helped me professionally after I graduated. >My sense of confusion, betaness and depression was taken advantage of by a predatory group of 'friends' that only used me for my car to drive them around campus. >Teachers hated me because I got bad grades and dragged down their performance metrics, therefore never paid any attention to me or given me any support.
>barely passed with a BA >worked in the hospitality industry, an industry that demands extroversion and social media savvyness (everything I fucking hate) >work with backstabbing narcissists and serve rich old fucks >I was fat, balding and at a low point and knew I had to change >Bought a condo back in 2014 (with the downpayments assisted by my parents) and i've been paying the mortgage till now 2018 and now its value rised 55% >I will have over $1 Million when I sell it in 2 years time >I will place all of that into a dividend portoflio and just let it compound
>find a completely new hope and meaning in life >starting to get fit >all of my old normie classmates are now married, balding and living a basic NPC life. I'm around 30 years old >I am on the way to financial freedom and i'll be that guy getting his dick sucked on the beach while I sip smoothies in a tropical country.
I can't speak for everyone, but what I found at my very bottom (and you have my word it was very low) was pure and unexplained joy. There's just something about being at the absolute pit of despair that is beautiful in its own way. I think it's because you realise then that you can live a nightmare and still feel... I don't know like life is something meaningful. And I also think there's a comfort in knowing you survived something that most people dread ever living. That's something that matters. That you are no longer afraid of falling because you already have. It's humbling and sweet, and you can go for a walk at the harbour, look at a flower and finally see how colourful it is, and then you can look up and see that the sky is full of colour against a red light house, and even though you have absolutely no material possession, it's still nice to be alive just for the view. I hope you fall far enough to feel the same joy one day.
Gabriel Sanchez
OP.
You're very similar to me. Just realise that everyone is going through something similar, the normies are no happier. You should pity the normies, because their depth of life is shallow.
Most of these normie workers in normie workplaces are going through life doing exactly what other people are telling them. They are doing EXACTLY what they told them and the world is rewarding them *a paltry sum* for being obedient to this system.
Pity them, for they never felt this lowness that you feel, their life is a stable bandwidth that never reach highs or lows. But for you, you are capable of reaching high frequency as your range can go so low.
This means that once you find your path, once you find your meaning (and you certainly will one day, it always happens unexpectedly), you are sure to feel a highness that none of these normies will ever get to feel.
>Up until I was 12 years old I was doing good in school. >surrounded by spic classmates, so wasnt difficult to be top student. >moved to school with large Asian population when i was 13 >immediately surrounded by smart competitive students who worked hard >start falling behind, barely keeping up >hang out with the dummber crowd >lose motivation, cheat on tests here and there just to pass, generally doing as little as possible. >coast through 4 years undergrad just barely hanging in, tried slightly harder than in HS, change major a few times , ended with 2.9gpa. >get out of college doing part time $11/hr work >10 years later at $50/hr in tedious finance job, still feel lazy and lack motivation, could have reached for higher, done better. >dont know what to do next, but cant see me lasting in finance forever; want out of this.
Jonathan Watson
I could've went anywhere I wanted, but I intentionally got mixed up with "the wrong crowd" at about age 19 because I knew that was an education that I'd have to get out of the way at some point. I'd been sheltered til then and a lot of people learn even younger than I did. And I sure learned a lot.
I'm doing better now and I still don't regret most of it. I regret some of it though...
Charles Price
I partially know that feel OP >135 IQ, straight As in HS with minimal effort >thought I was gonna be a doctor >whew lad >realized the people I would be competing with to get into med school are try hard chinks and pajeets with perfect grades and been volunteering at hospitals since age 10 >realized even after you become a doctor you basically have no life >fuckthis.jpeg I don't feel bad about it anymore. Smoke some weed OP, do the daily grind, and don't think too much about the destination famalam
Nwo or bust. Who else on biz ready for humanity to be united under one organization?
Juan Wood
biology is hardly even a stem degree why would u pick that if u do well in school
Blake Myers
> tfw in my final year at the most prestigious college in the world for my degree > will graduate and make over 6 figures at my first job > nothingpersonal.jpg
