>be me >be an ugly beta 27 year blackpilled nofriends loser with no female attention ever, no friends or social experiences since school, never been to pub, club, or party (even through university), and become the loser loner nobody talks to within one day of all my jobs >currently have full time job in London that miraculously requires almost zero effort or even time at the office >woke up today at 10 am >spend all my time wasting time on the internet or applying for better jobs or applying for part time jobs to work along my full time job which takes almost no effort or time >have zero intiatice to do anything worthwhile during my own time >did well at school and university but realise that I have morphed in to the ultimate consumercuck >not good looking enough or normie enough to succeed in the corporate world >can't even enjoy my free time because I feel like I have to do lots of boring shit people say I should do like read boring old books or study stuff a certain way >youth was wasted >feel bitter as fuck because in blackpilled about the extreme easiness of normie lives
I waste so much time on the internet, it's insane. It's funny how I invented the phrase "Consumercuck / Producerbull dichotomy" yet I haven't managed to put its teachings in to practise. But I guess that's part of the lesson. An advanced Consumercuck (frequently referred to as a critiquer) has no special predisposition for Producerbullness within a certain field. It's negative, if anything.
I feel so pathetic for having no passions and nothing I could lecture about. I'm so vacuous. I am a 28 year old meek, charismaless, ugly beta male. I unironically can't handle the bants. I am going to work in a slightly prestigious but dull organisation, probably on course to languish in middle management forever. I am tiring of Jow Forums. Zoomer culture is alien to me. Social skills, extroversion, having a great network: these are superpowers.
OP's pic is what happens to children born from race-mixing. Even if they don't LOOK like that, they are like that mentally, spiritually. Hybrid minds. Twister, distorted, impure minds.
Thomas Bennett
I've just realised that my extreme malaise started in 2014 and I'm about to come up to the 5 year anniversary. Maybe it started earlier but I remember a different feeling at the start of 2014. So that's 5 solid years of wasting all my free time on the internet, feeling constantly sad at my ugly betaness (I was already r9kpilled before 2014 but seeing the lookspill / blackpill when Elliot Rodger became famous was a new level), procrastinating my "real life" of hard work, and huge numbers of binges on junk food or coffee.
In that time I've graduated university, had a good job, and my career will start soon with another good job, but I still have an empty life with my 20s (I'm now 28) consisting of no friends, no female attention ever, no holidays, and I've never been to a pub, club, or party. I'm a zero charisma and uptight person.
I read books. I exercise. But I simply cannot go from being a consumercuck to a producerbull. I listened to the radio today and heard about teenagers selling hacked Fortnite accounts for thousands a week. These kids have more life than me.
2016 *really* stands out as the nadir. I had so much free time and I did nothing. But having free time is simply the least worst state.
From 2014, my main hobby became established. It involves walking or driving around outside (and riding the underground train and visiting museums / parks when I was in London), browsing the internet on my phone, feeling sad about life, stopping for coffee or fast food binges, all while hoping that my 20s spontaneously stop feeling wasted. Of course I waste shitloads of money on food, and I could have had thousands more in the bank, though money is not currently a worry.
My existential ennui is deep but I see all philosophical axioms as arbitrary so no alleged system of thought can motivate me.
Life is flying by. I know how I want to spend my free time (learning maths / programming), I simply don't have the motivation to do anything.
I had a big binge on McDonalds food. I know I say this every day but I think that may have been the last binge.
I was going to do some productive stuff in my free time but it's late and my trousers are tight, which is annoying my balls, so I'll just read until I go to the gym.
The library pictures topic made me feel sad. Those places are filled with purposeful, attractive people living the time of their lives.
I need to lose weight. My exercise routine is great, I just need to fix my diet. Existential ennui is much less profound when it's done by overweight people.
Wallowing in existential ennui is so tough in our era. In 1900 a homeless man was only a shave, a meal, and a few fiery speeches away from taking over a country. These days you need to harness the power of autism to get out of bed in the morning.
I recently received around £1.5k in a completely unforeseen way, so I can work minimum wage jobs in full knowledge that I can quit whenever I want (my only money target right now is enough to easily move back to London if I get a job)
I feel mentally imprisoned. I simply don't have the ability to relax and do what I want. Even if I do something, I am cucked by Taylorism and feel guilty about how I do it. I always feel bad for not working for 10 hours on a row on one thing or not filling my day with multiple things. This is banal shit but it tortures me.
I have a full time job which miraculously requires almost nothing of me. I moved out and live in London due to it. I should feel lucky but I haven't enjoyed myself at all.
And of course being ugly and blackpilled means I know I have nothing to look forward to in terms of my social and professional life. I am not part of the normie hivemind. Every job interview and job requires you to be a clone who acts happy. I'm the most miserable person I've seen.
My only solace is junk food and fast food but I have to stop because they rape my bank balance. Nothing healthy is tasty.
Henry Perez
This is me except all the junk food shit Sounds like adehonia or a lack of dopamine, I have troubles with motivation too and barely any energy, I have just been laying in bed all day doing nothing, trying to find something to apply my mind to, and stick with it. But here we are, sitting on my floor on Jow Forums
Take 100 $. Backpack basic stuff you need and take a train and get off at the most remote location as far from your town as possible. Then make your way home detouring as much as you can.
Fo course you all feel miserable if you wake up in the same place every day.
If you need some great motivation please go and watch 'Brave Dave's big fat freight hop' on Youtube (2 hrs) and it will give you an idea on what you can do. I'm not a wanderlust thot but you can go hiking large distances to escape monotomy.
Mason Morales
Read stoic philosophy. Epictetus first - short and comprehensible.
Once you understand a few very simple concepts everything else is ez. try it frens
im always interested in these threads so i can find clues how to raise my children so they dont grow into massive faggots like OP. ive got lots of advice but seems wasted trying to give it here.
