Bros I haven't had sex in years because I was trying to make it in crypto...

Welcome back to the scene, here's what you need to know about dating apps: they're a game, and the more experience you have with them, the better you'll do. Sadly you're not going to find the love of your life on these things, but you can get laid.

From what I'm seeing in your pic:
"Happy Monday" is a weak, low effort opener on her part. This means she's either 1) not that interested 2) not that smart (who cares) or 3) she's been on dating apps too long and just doesn't make an effort anymore.

What you want to do is:
1) respond in a funny / interesting / unique way
2) try to make her laugh as much as possible without being a clown
3) express interest in her sexually but do not be overtly offensive
4) seal the deal.

"Seal the deal" consists of meeting her in real life, whether that be for drinks, coffee, or just straight up having her come to your place to bang. This all depends on the girl / conversation you just had with her. Good luck brother

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"Damn girl how is it we aint never bumped de uglies huh
hmu. Love - dad"

Put benis in vagene

Remember to jack off a few hours before you see her, otherwise you’ll probably cum too fast.

"hi lovely, would you like to go on a cute date sometime?" dubs

She messaged you first, what a cutie

>tfw I did this last time and she came in like 2 minutes and then was too sensitive and had to spend 10 minutes jerking me off while I played with her tits. Oh well, at least now i know i dont have to pre-game her.

thanks David DeAngelo

...

>women are premature ejaculators now
what are they putting in the water supply these days

Do the needful and send bobs

message her "I haven't had sex in years"

actually, do this

It might actually work, like George Costanza admitting he is unemployed and lives with his parents.

Just be yourself :^)

Just do whatever you want with the girl and fuck her like an animal. It’s what most girls like. Unironically. It might seem counterintuitive, but most girls don’t want you to be considerate, ask what they like, ask if X is okay etc. during sex. They just want to be used.

put bepis on vagnai

You're welcome. That would be 2k linkies please.

this but unironically, dont say hi or anything first just do it faggot

I'm 35 and a decent looking guy. In my experience women vary a lot. Some never orgasm, some it takes a lot of work, others cum multiple times in a session, some cum quick and then get really sensitive and have to stop. Its totally random. I haven't been able to associate any personality type or attributes to it.

Ask her out as quickly as you can.

i haven’t had sex in years, and have been on campaign in the ancient world subsisting on hardtack and the sour wind of the steppes. R u down for adventure

benis in bagiba :DDDDDDD

imagine putting this much effort and expecting to be alpha.
listen up op, answer her with "show bobs" to be like serjeet nazaresh sanjay, if you don't your mom will die on the toilet seat tonight

Based

"Haha I am not a fan of Mondays. But you seem pretty excited"
Blah blah blah
"I am actually more a fan of Fridays, how about we meet up that day?"
That is all it takes OP

Doubt she isn't interested since she started the conv

Say “hello, how are you?”. She’ll get so wet user you have no idea.

It's easy, compliment them, be funny, and don't give a fuck. Here's my last first message:
>Wow your eyes... You would make my palms sweaty, knees weak, mom's spaghetti

“I’ll give you btc if you’ll be my gf”

Works everytime

Sorry user, I'm not into Blazing That Chronic

This guy gets it.

>if talking to her isn't fun, don't do it
Then, if you have any standards, you are never gonna do it.
I have talked and casually gone out with numerous tinder roasties. I have never met a single woman that was fun to talk to, except for my mother.
Though, the fuck is honestly never worth the trouble. At one point I just stopped caring for women altogether.

Haha, I put absolutely no effort into dating apps, that's the entire point. Everything I wrote comes naturally to me, I don't even think about it anymore. For somebody who hasn't dated/used dating apps in years, it might require a little more effort.

Also you don't need to be """"alpha"" to get laid, that's you projecting your insecurities onto me. If you're taking the alpha/beta meme that literally, you've got self-esteem issues.

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Imagine being intimidated by a dumb bitch with a horse face. Yikes

They throw out a shit opener and see how much the betas will dance for their amusement. Kind of like throwing a coin at a dancing monkey.

>imagine being this bluepilled

>thinking this is a real girl

enjoy the virus link or pyramid scheme

Naah no disrespect, but she's not hot enough to be a bitch like that. Assuming OP is not a beta though

Yeah she's a 6, could be a 7 if she fixed her teeth.. I see a lot of gums.

interesting. I'm 26 in a couple of months and a virgin, I think the jealous part of my brain is nearly dead now.

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>vocaroo.com/i/s1fv5N3JpYSM
Nice moves bro...nice moves

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I spot some acne as well. But she looks like the type that would do everything to fuck your brains out

This is what I am most afraid of.

Happy Monday
Wtf?

I’m also 26 and lost my virginity at this age. Sex was incredibly underwhelming just as a purely sensual feeling, really says something about normies that they prize it so highly

This is what i usually say and then move to the bar and take beer and wait. Doesnt work every night but one time one chick smiled at me and i raised my beer to her and left

vocaroo.com/i/s1Yz1JHhay4a

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virgin larp

I've never seen a vagina in person before and wonder how that will go, since the first time I saw one pictorially when I was 12 it was euphoric. I figured that the actual sensation from intercourse would be overrated because i've used a fleshlight and I don't really respond much to it until I actually cum. I think you get habituated to your skin moving and rubbing internally against your penis from jerking it instead of something rubbing against the skin itself. Not to mention the vise like grip.

I disagree with some of the pic

>i put no effort
>instantly replies out of insecurity

?????????????

I love the ones that cum multiple time

wtf would this even work?

This is your fault for bigging it up so much in your head. Normies don't prize it that highly; you do.

Normies just do it a lot cos its pretty fun to share an intense emotional/physical time with someone else and it feels good

doesn't beta in terms of a wolf pack, which is where I assume the meme comes from, mean 2nd place? Doesn't sound like much of an indictment to call a man beta. In fact from the documentaries I've seen on wolves the beta is identified as the one most likely to defeat and take over as alpha.
Are you subscribing to an unrealistic understanding of social hierarchy invented by retarded women and memed here to drive insecure people nuts?

it's something about darwinism and the strongest shall prevail and some nietzsche about being powerful enough to fullfill the capitalism dream of fame and meritocracy lol

>darwinism and the strongest shall prevail
my dad 'prevailed'
>powerful enough to fullfill the capitalism dream of fame and meritocracy
my dad's a loser by all accounts.

33 here. same exact thing. no rhyme or reason to it
same thing with tightness. slutty fat chicks with the tightest vag. then skinny virgin with loose. makes no sense

the fat takes up space that your dick doesn't...

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obvs, capitalism is just the new religion of 21st century, gotta preach the gospel against all evidence, and what you are gonna do? you are nothing in the eyes of the god of capitalism, who is all knowing and good

Kek

Op this will 100% work trust me:
“Hey I suck at small talk, want to just go out for drinks? We can talk then”

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Or: "your mouth would look great on my cock".

Read heartiste's blog, and the Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi faggot.

>Rollo Tomassi faggot
What does their family crest look like