Join conference call

>dat ID
Confirmed for Onions Goy

wtf S.oy gets autocorrected to onions now?

the funny thing is that this kind of talking is actually useful and on point

conferencecall.biz/

how? it sounds like a faggotry circle jerk, when really no one is doing jack shit except sending likes on the thot's instagram who works in the same building for another department.

NONE of this is productive.

Holy, this is great. Trying to look at how this was made as a hopeful self-taught developer

>let’s circle back to that later
>we know where we need to go, we just need to buckle down and climb that mountain
>insert inane mixed metaphor here
Boomers, amirite?

testing... onions

holy shit
testing basedboy

I unironically think conference calls are kinda comfy

I know it's supposed to be, but this is both depressing and hilarious to listen to.

This, but ironically

>*beep boop*
>Hi this is Markus Crisper, Innovation and Technology lead at Bad Dragon LLC
>I have some questions about your proposal to add IoT Cameras to the Bad Dragon line of products. I think this is a great idea. Do you think we can have a lineup of prototypes by COB Next Friday?

Attached: 1544052979345.jpg (250x184, 12K)

>Right, so if we can tighten up our margins-
>*beep boop*
>Hello? Who just joined
>"Hi, this is the ghost of Karl Marx. came to tell you that capitalism is bullshit"
>That's great, Karl. Now about those margins

Attached: 1545294287186.jpg (720x469, 71K)

FUCKING STOP. I JUST GOT HOME FROM THIS! DELETE!

Attached: 77d.jpg (800x450, 68K)

Attached: 1546309425972.png (750x757, 115K)

LMAO

This is a work of art

>conferencecall.biz/

Attached: xhpk1.jpg (352x352, 21K)

how can i get one of these jobs with a fancy title where they do nothing but sit in meetings all day? seriously

For real I’m trying to get to that point too.

Sadly. I was on these calls at my fortuene 500 company. I just had to quit before the laid off the entire department and found my own blockchain company.

Attached: d2ffpif-ec2b520f-0ae8-4375-abb1-2a9fdac9950c.jpg (1000x1308, 156K)

>the funny thing is that this kind of talking is actually useful and on point
Unironically agree. This is dopey jargon, sure, but it's actually kind of designed to soften the blow

>>I hear what you're saying Tim, let's take that offline
translation "Jesus, Tim, not this shit again. Every time we are trying to get the marketing brochure done you always bring up this same stupid shit and it annoys the fuck out of the other 8 people dealing with this. Let's fucking talk about this later."

- run the numbers and ping me and we'll get our heads together to identify key deliverables to ensure we meet our value add
Translation: "See the thing is, Tim, your idea is stupid and everyone else is convinced that it is going to be a big money loser and waste of time. Also, it sounds pretty vague. So the thing is, as I've now asked you 57 times, let's try to estimate what the costs will be and what the potential benefit is. So, why don't you go fucking do that analysis as I've asked you, again 57 times, and THEN come back and we can discuss it. Also, we need to "identify key deliverables" i.e. exactly what the fuck we are going to specifically do, not just your plan that consists of "I want to spend 100K working on something for the health care industry in China since I heard that is a growth area"

>>We need to do a deep dive into the low hanging fruit, our ducks are in a row but we just have to dot the i's and cross the t's to reach our North Star
Translation: "you fucking guys are always getting lost on stupid bullshit that you think sounds glamorous, like "come up with our internet of things/wireless/blockchain strategy" when how about you pull your heads out of your ass and just get some basic shit right like, can we get proposals and price quotes out the door in less than two weeks,

>>loving the team synergy lately guys, really feels like we are all singing from the same hymn sheet to hit those KPIs

Translation: "I appreciate that you guys have, for the moment at least, stopped constantly fighting about utterly stupid shit, and you seem to actually be focused on getting more sales in Texas, since, if you'll recall, the whole company got told that our number one goal right now is to sell more product into Texas.

Helen, from HR

Yeah a lot of this is either giving face or compression of other stuff. It can be a total waste of words--I have a coworker who both insists on relitigating everything from base principles EVERY TIME as well as using a bunch of bullshit jargon--but it isn't usually.

Yes, there are stupid phrases--but a lot of those stupid phrases didn't originate in business. The North Star, Polaris, was used as a metaphor for steadfastness in poetry long before it showed up in business.

This is just the american version of that bit from Oregairu season 2

>*krkkkkkk*
>"We're getting a lot of noise on the line can anyone who's not talking please press mute"
>*beep boop* has joined the conference
>*krrrkkkkkk*
>*beep boop* has left the conference

Who else here /devilish/ and purposely doesn't mute?

Attached: 50a.jpg (470x595, 47K)

Jesus Christ these are my conference calls to a T

I like to wait until a few people join after me then start crunching a paper bag near the mouthpiece

it’s been like that for ages user

>*tink tink tink*
>ahem!
>yes? Who just joined?

FUCK WAGIES

Attached: AF34F05E-C802-4830-B834-D2B769F1540A.jpg (600x600, 33K)

>never heard of word filters
söyboy newfags

But actually though the mods are gay turbokikes and word filters are cancer desu senpai

Really? Sounds like a bunch of do-nothing desk jockey paycheck collectors pretending to work to me.

KINO.

im slav and those kikes are real

im sales representative for united airlines

when we have weekly sales conference call

its rly like that

they overthink, overkike, overfeel, overnpc, jackiechan roleplay workflow

>kikes are brainlet npcs srsly

when im on that call i just pasively nod to their mediocre pink castle fluffy cloud imagination and gtfo

>*beep boop*
>*beep boop*
>*beep boop*
>*beep boop*
>*beep boop*
>all other callers have disconnected

Fucking kek

Ok but no company is actually like this

Attached: C8AAA47C-AE0D-4710-9178-779B6F585484.png (750x1334, 788K)