The big leap

>22
>husband
>father
>shit job
It’s ogre. You fucked up OP. You’re supposed to be financially settled so that you’re just accumulating savings THEN you start investing. You’re making house payments and paying for kids and paying to make sure your wife doesn’t leave you now. You’re fucked. Normally, that $800 would either go to a vacation for you and your wife, or maybe into savings, but considering you need that money I can tell you’re going to waste it and be poor forever.

tldr never gonna make it

Buy ggn
Reinvest dividends
Thank me later

Fine... What do you do for work presently?

Don’t listen to this guy Op. Sure you may be struggling financially ATM but you got what so much of us don’’t have a Wife and Kids and you are young and will be young still as they get older. I am actually very jealous and would trade all my wealth to be young and have a wife and kids.

Just keep plugging away and bettering yourself and put what small amounts you can into good crypto projects like LINK or CHX

>put what small amounts you can into good crypto projects
Took a hard left turn.

Hello boomer! I bought my house outright with inheritance cash when I was 18. I’ve been married since I was 19. As far as “just enough to survive” goes, I mean I pay the bills. I have a few bucks left over for pizza on Wednesday’s and date night on saturdays. I want to get AHEAD of bills though. I made a few grand in taxes this year, I’m spending most of it on giving myself a few weeks not paying bills and finishing paying off my car. I’m looking for a pet project that will make some extra money.

I’m a salary store manager for a retail chain. (inb4 WAGIE GET OUT REE) it’s a job man. I used to work a lot of factories, made shift supervisor then I moved to a comfier environment that’s better for my back and ears.

I mopped floors at a heroin detox (also had a kid), before I started my business, so I'd imagine you're in a better spot than I was even.
What motivates you? Is it just the money, or are you driven by something else?

$800 invested in the s&p500 will get you average annual returns of about 8% which is $64 annually.
If you want it not to be eaten away by inflation you need to not withdraw the 8%.
Inflation is 2-7% in most western countries depending on how you measure it.
So a safe withdrawal rate will get you $8 - $48 per year

you're fucked LMAO make better decisions in your next life buddy

Well. I’ve got a 5 year plan. Me and my wife are both farm kids. And back when I was 18 I went out and bought 11 acres of woods in about the furthest backwoods you can find in Tennessee. We’ve slowly been saving and getting ready to build our own little “self sufficient” farm down there. So. That’s really what motivates me. If my math is anywhere near correct it’s gonna be about 30k to get the house built, the well put in and all the other little stuff we can’t build with our own hands.

user, I hope you read this. I use to be one of those who would screech wagie get out. I then got a job in a comfy office environment and never feel the need to call anyone a wagie. There's nothing quite like not hurting my body and ears all while getting a paycheck for sitting on my ass in front of a fucking computer.

Eat shit

I'm actually out of time, but just gtfo of here asap. There is absolutely NOTHING of value to be found here. Check out thefastlaneforum.com
You'll find what you're looking for there. Good luck traveler!

$30k will take you like fucking no time to save. Just literally don't spend your money and you will see it eventually. I love the 5 year plan part as well. There's nothing quite like water from nature as well.

Yeah dude, I made better money in the factory but honestly. Here I have way more time at home, and my body is wayyy better off for it. Plus, I will never be the guy who has a thousand pound roll of raw polystyrene fall from 40 feet overhead to kill him. So. That’s a plus.

>not going to buy chainlink
not gonna make it you retard. you said you had common sense.

At my current rate. I don’t think I can save 30k in 5 years tho.

Does shit really fall from ceilings and kill people?

You're only going for $6k a year user and you know that lol. Just eat ramen and beef for while to keep expenses down.

You're doomed.

You can taker some classes at community college or online. You could probably get a book, virtual box, and use the money to pay for certs so you get a better job.
Buy digital book about SAS and use sas university edition to learn skills.

Not my plant but yes. Happens a lot.

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...

Again op. Get out before someone talks you into something retarded. They don't care that you have a kid, as long as they can dump their shit "investments" on new people. It's like a satanic network effect.

> MJ Demarco's Fastlane forum.

I just visited the site and am pleased by the very pleasant layout of the forum. But, what if I'm too fucking lazy to read anything? Will I still get anything from "joining" the forum?

you got me. his $800 is going to be sufficient liquidity for me to unload my 125k link.

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How would $800 be sufficient liquidity? Do you even know what liquidity is?

He’s just meming and he doesn’t have 125k link anyways

well if user a buys 800$ of link and user b is selling his link for 800$, b anons link turn into 800$, or would you rather say flows into liquidy sort of cash

Ya. And sell me 125k of chain link for 800 bucks pls. I’ll make it 801$.

>being this retarded

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Stop having sex before marriage & you wouldn't have a child who has to grow up poor because his degenerate father only cared about "muh dick".

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>being this retarded
If user is trying to dump 125k LINK how the fuck will a lousy $800 help him entirely? You should crack your own mother right in the chin.

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Hey neet, I married my wife at 19. We had our daughter when we were 21. Try and fucking talk about trad with me you noneck incel fuck. Go find furry mormon porn you miserable bbc holding faggot.

>is there a trick I don’t know about?

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OP is unironically a 22 year old boomer

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>ad-hominem attacks

>I *do* have common sense.

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kek go back to /v/ or /b/ or whatever shithole board you came from OP. You will not make money in crypto, you'll have better luck making money buying lottery tickets for the next 60 years than you will from putting $800 in crypto.

I know a guy who bought a house with his bitcoin earnings and doesn't plan to work for the rest of his life. You're small-minded just like your mother. You should crack her in the chin for me.

most won't admit this

Op I’m in a similar boat . Unironically buy at least 1k link buddy it’s your safest gamble

I read your situation. From a farming perspective you know you protect your bottom line from letting expenses get ahead of income.

My first thought is that you absolutely must have emergency cash to protect you from debt and other costly mistakes. So purchasing insurance makes sense. A safe option would probably be one of these high-interest bearing internet bank savings accounts like ally.

On the point of getting ahead of your expenses, often times the best things to do are reduce fixed costs. Seeds are cheap, chicks are cheap, if you can produce food that is as good as income.

It does not sound to me like the situation you are in lends itself to investment. One, because of your capital shortage, in case of emergency, see above, you will just end up pulling anyway, and with the market volatility, it could be reduced significantly when you do pull it. Cash beat all other asset classes last year so if I were you I'd keep it in cash, maybe use some to reduce fixed expenses.

Long term investment is def. what you should be interested in at your age and for that option you should be putting in a tax-deferred acct IRA with a withdrawal penalty to make sure you keep it in there for 50 years. But the emergency cash is a category you shouldn't ignore. I wouldn't put it in stocks or crypto though atm. Safer to build an speculative investment account over time and then start with a larger figure.

What kind of shitty LARP is this? You own your house outright and are here asking for advice? Sell your house, put a comfortable down payment on a new place and invest the rest.

>I’m not gonna buy into whatever the fuck chain link is

Maybe you should read up on what it is smileyface. Im sorry to say, but you are too lazy to make it, user.

>You will not make money in crypto, you'll have better luck making money buying lottery tickets for the next 60 years than you will from putting $800 in crypto.

If that were the case btc would be sub 1k and eth would be sub $100.

Honestly, no. Virtually no one here is making money. And you can't do shot with $800.
Your best bet is to either save it, or start reading about how to start a business. Which is not really fast, easy, or foolproof.

but who was swing trading in and out of USD?

there's no such thing as lazyness. He just doesn't give a shit about what you have to say.

So. I’m probably gonna catch shit for this, but explain to me what a CD is? My dad suggested i put it towards a ten year CD and do that every year. He said it gains a higher rate of interest then most options but I can’t touch it for 10 years?

Compact disc (CD) is a digital optical disc data storage format that was co-developed by Philips and Sony and released in 1982. The format was originally developed to store and play only sound recordings (CD-DA) but was later adapted for storage of data (CD-ROM). Several other formats were further derived from these, including write-once audio and data storage (CD-R), rewritable media (CD-RW), Video Compact Disc (VCD), Super Video Compact Disc (SVCD), Photo CD, PictureCD, CD-i, and Enhanced Music CD. The first commercially available audio CD player, the Sony CDP-101, was released October 1982 in Japan.

I don’t want to tell you I chuckled. But I did.

Theyre term deposits. They pay worse than inflation. Youd be better off buying $800 of toilet paper.

You already made it, spend that 800 on a nice day with your wife.

T. 23 yo bloomer

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can you imagine how he sourced that article

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I've been a long time lurker here on Jow Forums and I was definitely here for the 2017 bullrun. I was here for DGB Marines, ESP Pajeets and SiaCoin.

All of those coins failed, all of the predictions that people have been making this entire time has never come to fruition.

So do yourself a favor, do not listen to any of the advice on this board, you will surely lose money this way.

Buy Quant. Its good. Its legit af. Its supported by governments. Your money won't be wasted on some chink scam.
If you want more reasurance they are partnered with crowdz and those guys are partnered with barclays and IBM and both of those need services Quant provides with a cherry on top of Quant announcing cloud partnership with one of top 10 cloud providers which is obviously going to be IBM.

I honestly just want Jow Forums to make it since you faggots been so nice to me.

I bought a CD once, the experience sucked. The only people I know with CDs are boomers with 6 figures and retired looking to absolutely protect a fully grown nest egg and are risk averse vs. boomer retirement products like mutual funds that come with market exposure

Personal finance success comes down to protecting your capital... from yourself

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please be a troll

and as far as " tricks " you are not aware of, probably the only one would be creative financing real estate endeavours which you can research else where. not that op is even hanging around any more

Mostly depends on what you want. If you invest in BTC you will have like 20k in 4 years. Thats still no worth the risk.
Honestly you're fucked already so my advise is to wait for the BTC bottom and invest in some good low cap alt. 99% of coins are going to die so be careful.

The only way a CD makes any kind of since is if you got like 10 or 30k to dump into it and then stagger it for 3yrs or 5 yrs,etc. But the catch is that you best make damn sure you don't need that money at any time before that 5 yrs or 10 is up. The fees hurt. So say you got 30k. 15 goes into a 5 yr CD. The other 15 goes into a 10 yr CD. After the 5 yrs is up all the money earned gets dumped into the 10 yr CD. The extra interest earned on the 5 yr will help the 10 yr one grow that much quicker. But again this is only worth it if you got a fat wad to put into it. 1000.00 is not enough, sure you'll earn something but it's shit compared to other ways with a lot less hassle and paperwork.

Op is still here.
See. I bought 2 full bitcoin at like 400 a piece when I was 18 because I wanted to buy a fuckton if acid. And I completely ignored it until it hit its peek and I thought “oh fuck, if eBay or amazon takes this it’ll be worth a 100k a piece” like a dummy, that being said, i think a “global” or “internet” currency is gonna happen and it might be bitcoin. If it drops to next to nothing. I’ll spend every single penny I have on it.

Why did you have kids without getting a good job first? That is escape poverty 101

>Help biz. I wanna be comfy.
Let me help you. Find the closest community college, do as many nursing classes as possible there, get your LPN, work through your BSN. Congrats, you're making $30 an hour with minimal debt. Want to be upper middle class and make 120k a year? Go get your DNP (hospital will usually pay for it).

OP is you are still there then read this and pay attention because I want to help you.

Crypto is extremely risky because 99.9% of ‘projects’ are scams. There is also no magic method to make loads of money with it unless you gamble and get lucky or everyone will be doing it. There are however a few safe bets that are still incredibly risky and can yield great returns if you are patient. The market moves in cycles, so you must be patient because timing is everything. The only cryptos that can become something one day are Bitcoin (currency/store of value) or Ethereum (smart contracts/dapps). Bitcoins moons every few years because of the halvening hype so it so more of a safe bet. Ethereum is more of a gamble, but if they pull off what they are planning to do the pay off will be great so it is worth trying since you sound pretty desperate.

Here’s what you do. Split your cash into 75% Bitcoin and 25% Ethereum and hold for at least 2-3 years. Everything else you hear is either bitter people fucking with you or pajeets trying to scam you. God bless you brother.

Thanks a lot man!

No 22 year old buys CD

Np. One more thing, make sure you have control of your coins and hold them in cold storage and not on an exchange.

>not buying chainlink

Use $800 to build a time machine, so you can go back in time and not fuck up your life by having a kid.

>boomer
Lol no. Just another millennial but feel free to believe this is the right path. I got an inheritance too and wasted half of it. Now I’m using the other half to learn how to manage it. You sound like you have no fucking idea, but feel free to not listen to anyone and throw it all away. Smart money would play it safe and slowly learn the market, but you’ll probably find a meme stock and lose it all like the zoomer failure man you are. I hope your kids like eating cold beans from a can because you’ll be holding my bags when I make it you ignorant fuck.