Coworkers want me to go drinking with them

Talk about the Superbowl to fit in with the normies

Send them to jhanum, filthy infidels

Then drink cranberry juice.

Just go and order a virgin drink. Since you are obviously a virgin.

say youre mormon and dont drink. then if any of them act even slightly different report them to HR for religious intolerance

>Superbowl
Is that some kind of salad you can order at hipp cali restaurants?

Tonic water with lemon fren. Tastes like an alcoholic drink. Even if they want to sip they won't be able to tell the difference and you will blend right in.

Work is for making money not making friends. You don't go to after work events with men or women. Especially women. Do you want to have a false accusation rammed up your ass? Are you some kind of faggot? Didn't think so. Make friends outside of work in your real life.

Go on ahead but before you do mention that you e never been drunk. These roasties will be all over you. Get ready forn ironic flirting.

This. Novelty sex is still sex.

this, tell them youre busy

How does one not indulge in drugs?

I do it everyday, its fuel for the soul

Why not just go. Don't drink then. Just take coca cola instead, you'll have a great time.

I used to be a borderline alcoholic. Actually I think some would have called me a full blown alcoholic. I can still drink alcohol only out of sheer force of will power of making myself stop(it's not fun either). I think that's the only line in the sand separating me.

Craft beer is a godsend in these situations, you can find yourself a tasty beer or two with low alcohol percentage and all the normies will leave you alone. In fact a good many will assume you're a pretentious beer snob and will not want to discuss alcohol for too long. If drinking is that much of an issue, see if you can smooth something over with the bartender. Trust me they've seen everything and a good tip goes a long way. They can feed you non alcoholic drinks the whole night and nobody will ever know.

don't be a cuck
drink with your coworkers
have a good time

tonic water and lemons are going to be your best friend

Kek

We're talking about the same kind of "men" who piss and shit themselves with fear when confronted with the idea of talking to a woman.

They will live their entire lives trapped inside their own mind; the only things they will ever contemplate are things that can be perceived with the five senses. They will never be able to express themselves and that is a thousand times worse than death.

no, it's this really cool bird of prey

Meh I was like you OP I always declined the invitations to happy hour typically because I was busy after work with the gym or just didn’t want to go in fear of saying something offensive. I decided to go one day and actually had a good time, sure they just chit chat about boring normie stuff but when you stop being autistic and realize there’s more to life than what Jow Forums says it’s not that bad and will help your standing in the office since they are less likely to think you are weird. A chick said she thinks I’m a robot because she’s never seen me eat since I don’t eat with everyone in the break room, made me reevaluate that maybe I should sort of participate in the occasional conversation or two. Social skills are like muscles they need to be exercised/used to grow. I’ll probably go next time I’m invited if I’m not busy even if it’s not insanely fun.

Don't listen to this faggot, the only way you can enjoy situations like this is if you drink.
Thats why they all drink because deep down its boring as fuck.
Fuck alcohol it gave me a psychosis.

>I need alcohol to function in social settings
>I also have mental problems and blame them on substances instead of my terrible outlook on life
I’m sure vidya or jacking off to porn is a much better use of your time. I’m just trying to tell autists you need to develop social skills though practice. Sure it’s not fun if you’ve been an introvert, guess what? Valuable things are typically earned through hard work or they don’t mean anything.

Good advice
Ty user

>>I need alcohol to function in social settings

I don't, thats why people think im autistic.

The joke is you think youre drinking to have fun, when in reality youre drinking to fit in.

Actually this, one time is not gonna make a difference,
but once you start, you think its not that bad,
before you know it, youre brain is cabable of working at 50% capacity, multitasking is difficult and it makes your autism much worse

If you don’t know what to talk about just ask your coworkers about themselves and build off of what they respond with other questions, they will most likely ask “how about you?” In whatever scenario you brought up and before you know it you are having a conversation with someone.
I really don’t think a single beer at happy hour is that fun, guess what as a wagecuck you kind of have to fit in or be known as the weird guy that doesn’t talk to anyone. Guess who the first person out the door is when times are tough in a business? You and Appear to fall in the same trap a lot of anons do thinking you are superior and far more intelligent than your peers because you are coping for lack of something. You might be smarter but guess what? Intelligence is rarely rewarded big picture, you will just be delegated more tasks that the friendlier people can’t handle because you seem smarter and they would rather give more work to the guy who never says a word than someone they consider a friendly acquaintance. I mean don’t go full NPC but realize being a good person who cares about others is a positive trait that will get you farther than your “supreme intellect” and anti social behavior.

>you are superior and far more intelligent than your peers
>supreme intellect

I don't think of myself in that way, but thanks :D

>tfw the bartender charges you $6 for fucking water

fitting in is fun, user

Then why whenever I do it do I see people behaving falsely and not true to themselves, they behave how they think others will see them, not how they truly feel.

kek'd and check'd

Be a chad and own it. Go with them to a place with booze but not where getting fucked up is the only goal. Think out to dinner rather than a club. You don’t drink. Big deal. Offer to DD. This is fine